I feel like my whole world is coming down?!
Question: I feel like my whole world is coming down!?
ok So I am seeking some coping skills or help!.
4 months ago i moved three hours away from my bf because we broke up, but we got back together after me being gone for two weeks, this has been difficult on me!. I have not been able to find a good paying job and my temp job ends in two weeks!. I just found out this morning that my mom who is my landlord is selling the house i live in!. That was the whole reason i moved back to my hometown they were gonna help me out with cheap rent in this house, and now there selling it!. and then they guilt me that if i move back to where my bf is that everyone will be sad and my grandfather will probably pass away from not being able to see my daughter everyday!. My bf does not want to move to where i live, he wants everything to stay like this til next summer when we can discuss our future!. i do see him every other weekend!.
Im constantly sad, i cry everyday, i always have a knot in my stomach, and i just feel like im being suffocated!. nothing is going they way i thought it would!. i dont like not being in control of my life and im being pulled in so many different directions!.
I start seeing a counsellor on wednesday but really i know for the first few weeks all were gonna do is talk and i just feel like i need more!.
It doesnt matter what i decide im going to disappoint someone!. and i know everyone is going to say you need to do what you want to, its not that easy when your whole life your fmaily has guilted you and made decisions for you, when i first chose to move to the city 3 hours away they stopped talking to me briefly then when they woudl talk to me it was to tell me i was not gonna be able to make it there and i made a decision and im killing my grand father and depressing my daughter!. it never ends!.!.!.!.i cant take this anymore!.!.!.i need helpWww@Answer-Health@Com
4 months ago i moved three hours away from my bf because we broke up, but we got back together after me being gone for two weeks, this has been difficult on me!. I have not been able to find a good paying job and my temp job ends in two weeks!. I just found out this morning that my mom who is my landlord is selling the house i live in!. That was the whole reason i moved back to my hometown they were gonna help me out with cheap rent in this house, and now there selling it!. and then they guilt me that if i move back to where my bf is that everyone will be sad and my grandfather will probably pass away from not being able to see my daughter everyday!. My bf does not want to move to where i live, he wants everything to stay like this til next summer when we can discuss our future!. i do see him every other weekend!.
Im constantly sad, i cry everyday, i always have a knot in my stomach, and i just feel like im being suffocated!. nothing is going they way i thought it would!. i dont like not being in control of my life and im being pulled in so many different directions!.
I start seeing a counsellor on wednesday but really i know for the first few weeks all were gonna do is talk and i just feel like i need more!.
It doesnt matter what i decide im going to disappoint someone!. and i know everyone is going to say you need to do what you want to, its not that easy when your whole life your fmaily has guilted you and made decisions for you, when i first chose to move to the city 3 hours away they stopped talking to me briefly then when they woudl talk to me it was to tell me i was not gonna be able to make it there and i made a decision and im killing my grand father and depressing my daughter!. it never ends!.!.!.!.i cant take this anymore!.!.!.i need helpWww@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Please don't give up!. And don't expect things to happen immediately!. You are taking the right step by talking to someone, I have at several points in my life when I felt as you do, that I am being pulled in several different directions at once, and that no matter what I do, I will disappoint someone!.
The one thing I learned, and I hope you learn this too - in your heart and not just in your head!. You don't have to please ANYONE but yourself!. Stop worrying about what your boyfriend wants!. He's obviously not helping!. Don't worry about your grandfather!. If he's so stressed out over what's happening in your life, then maybe HE needs to see a therapist!.
The point I'm trying to make, and what I discovered, is that if you are not happy with yourself, no one else is going to be either, so work on you and what YOU want!. It's a hard thing to do when you've done otherwise your whole life, but I'm 58 years old and it wasn't until I turned 40 and woke up that I realized that!. Don't let others manipulate you into doing what they want you to do and making yourself unhappy and stressed because it's not what YOU want to do!.
And this piece of advice is crucial!.!.!. be HONEST with YOURSELF!. Don't lie to yourself about what you are doing or not doing, don't make excuses for yourself, and just face it as it is!. EVERYTHING can be fixed!. It will take time, but if you put your mind to it and set yourself some goals (small ones at first, day to day kinds of things),l KNOW you can do it!. I did!. There are no quick fixes; it ain't gonna happen!. This can take weeks, months, years sometimes!. But it's crucial to your happiness and well-being that you take this step!.
If there is any way that I can help, even just by lending an ear, I would be happy to do so, but I urge you to see that therapist regularly and give him/her a good solid chance to help you by opening up and talking to them!. They can't help if you don't tell them how you feel!.
You can email me at bayareared@yahoo!.com if you like!. We can take it from there!. I wish you the very best, no matter what!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
The one thing I learned, and I hope you learn this too - in your heart and not just in your head!. You don't have to please ANYONE but yourself!. Stop worrying about what your boyfriend wants!. He's obviously not helping!. Don't worry about your grandfather!. If he's so stressed out over what's happening in your life, then maybe HE needs to see a therapist!.
The point I'm trying to make, and what I discovered, is that if you are not happy with yourself, no one else is going to be either, so work on you and what YOU want!. It's a hard thing to do when you've done otherwise your whole life, but I'm 58 years old and it wasn't until I turned 40 and woke up that I realized that!. Don't let others manipulate you into doing what they want you to do and making yourself unhappy and stressed because it's not what YOU want to do!.
And this piece of advice is crucial!.!.!. be HONEST with YOURSELF!. Don't lie to yourself about what you are doing or not doing, don't make excuses for yourself, and just face it as it is!. EVERYTHING can be fixed!. It will take time, but if you put your mind to it and set yourself some goals (small ones at first, day to day kinds of things),l KNOW you can do it!. I did!. There are no quick fixes; it ain't gonna happen!. This can take weeks, months, years sometimes!. But it's crucial to your happiness and well-being that you take this step!.
If there is any way that I can help, even just by lending an ear, I would be happy to do so, but I urge you to see that therapist regularly and give him/her a good solid chance to help you by opening up and talking to them!. They can't help if you don't tell them how you feel!.
You can email me at bayareared@yahoo!.com if you like!. We can take it from there!. I wish you the very best, no matter what!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
i know this really really good book,
it's called "the secret" by rhonda byrne, it actually really helps you,
it helps to bring positive thoguhts and then everything will be good around you,
try it and if it doesn't work , try something like starting all over again,
new job , a new you it's good to be yourself more than trying to be a good mother or wife,
it can be a lot of presure
hope this helps
Www@Answer-Health@Com
it's called "the secret" by rhonda byrne, it actually really helps you,
it helps to bring positive thoguhts and then everything will be good around you,
try it and if it doesn't work , try something like starting all over again,
new job , a new you it's good to be yourself more than trying to be a good mother or wife,
it can be a lot of presure
hope this helps
Www@Answer-Health@Com
Your family are emotional manipulators!. They are creating an emotional "debt" they are making you feel you must repay!.
"If you move away you will make your grandad die of unhappiness"!. And giving you the silent treatment for moving away!? Complete manipulation!.
That is why you feel so drained!. You must see it for what it is!. Your grandad is responsible for his happiness not you!. Visiting him is enough and you do need a life of your own!. Cut yourself off from the guilt!.
Check this out
http://www!.wayneandtamara!.com/emotionalb!.!.!.
Edit: here is a fantastic link
http://www!.angelfire!.com/vt/rcwn/Pagefif!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
"If you move away you will make your grandad die of unhappiness"!. And giving you the silent treatment for moving away!? Complete manipulation!.
That is why you feel so drained!. You must see it for what it is!. Your grandad is responsible for his happiness not you!. Visiting him is enough and you do need a life of your own!. Cut yourself off from the guilt!.
Check this out
http://www!.wayneandtamara!.com/emotionalb!.!.!.
Edit: here is a fantastic link
http://www!.angelfire!.com/vt/rcwn/Pagefif!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com