Im extremely depressed at my disadvantages in life - what am i gonna do ?!
Question: Im extremely depressed at my disadvantages in life - what am i gonna do !?
present situation :
i live in a one bedroom flat in the north of england , on disability benefits, i own nothing except an old computer - got no carpets on my floor, a shabby bed etc!. i suffer with borderline personality disorder and post traumatic stress - im waiting to hear if i will get group therapy ; my main problems are severe low self worth , rage and aggression and aggraphobia and anxiety, i have social problems forming friendships or relationships with people!.
about my history :
ive had a severe hard life, suffered severe abuse, bullying , victimisation, bad times , assaults , head injuries , homelessness , time in a psychiatric hospital , over a time span 0f 16 years , since the age of 16!.
ive missed out on most things in life people take for granted : forming any relationships with anyone !. never been employed , spent all my life on disability , never got an education , never got any qualifications!.
have a minor criminal record for an assault and carrying a knife when i lived in a rough neiborhood, and i was being targeted by local thugs!.
obviously have a psychiatric record to!.
i used to have outbursts of rage years ago in public places, where id lose control and lash out at people, not something i planned but i would get a build up of paranoia and pressure in my head whilst outside then explode!.
but i dont do that anymore , ive managed my rage for years without therapy!.
i also unfortunatly havent had consistant therapy over the years, the system failed me so i havent had the help i needed!.
what i want for my future :
im now 30 and would like to achieve a normal happy life, to have friends that i choose, a good paying job in computers , a secure life and most importantly ; i want to emigrate from the united kingdom to somewhere hot , somewhere quiet and coastal by the sea, to find a loving senorita or a loving, partner to share my life with!.
thats it!.
most people when i talk about these desired ambitions put them down, or tell me their beyond my reach and patronisingly say '' i have to be realistic '' '' everybody wants those things but not everybody gets them ''
that ill find it '' impossible '' in my situation at my disadvantages!.
its mainly brits who keep on telling me that - other people from elsewhere usually have a more optimistic view towards me!.
its like theres a conspiracy where the brits are trying to keep me here against my will ( paranoia keeps creeping in )
all i know is i desperatly want to achieve those goals and leave the uk!.
do i have any chance !?
im not trying to be funny but i would like serious answers please as im really depressed over this right now!.
my situation in every sense including geographically , is not where i want to be!.
i feel really depressed because i worry ill be trapped here FOREVER or it will take to long to be able to work to get out of the situationWww@Answer-Health@Com
i live in a one bedroom flat in the north of england , on disability benefits, i own nothing except an old computer - got no carpets on my floor, a shabby bed etc!. i suffer with borderline personality disorder and post traumatic stress - im waiting to hear if i will get group therapy ; my main problems are severe low self worth , rage and aggression and aggraphobia and anxiety, i have social problems forming friendships or relationships with people!.
about my history :
ive had a severe hard life, suffered severe abuse, bullying , victimisation, bad times , assaults , head injuries , homelessness , time in a psychiatric hospital , over a time span 0f 16 years , since the age of 16!.
ive missed out on most things in life people take for granted : forming any relationships with anyone !. never been employed , spent all my life on disability , never got an education , never got any qualifications!.
have a minor criminal record for an assault and carrying a knife when i lived in a rough neiborhood, and i was being targeted by local thugs!.
obviously have a psychiatric record to!.
i used to have outbursts of rage years ago in public places, where id lose control and lash out at people, not something i planned but i would get a build up of paranoia and pressure in my head whilst outside then explode!.
but i dont do that anymore , ive managed my rage for years without therapy!.
i also unfortunatly havent had consistant therapy over the years, the system failed me so i havent had the help i needed!.
what i want for my future :
im now 30 and would like to achieve a normal happy life, to have friends that i choose, a good paying job in computers , a secure life and most importantly ; i want to emigrate from the united kingdom to somewhere hot , somewhere quiet and coastal by the sea, to find a loving senorita or a loving, partner to share my life with!.
thats it!.
most people when i talk about these desired ambitions put them down, or tell me their beyond my reach and patronisingly say '' i have to be realistic '' '' everybody wants those things but not everybody gets them ''
that ill find it '' impossible '' in my situation at my disadvantages!.
its mainly brits who keep on telling me that - other people from elsewhere usually have a more optimistic view towards me!.
its like theres a conspiracy where the brits are trying to keep me here against my will ( paranoia keeps creeping in )
all i know is i desperatly want to achieve those goals and leave the uk!.
do i have any chance !?
im not trying to be funny but i would like serious answers please as im really depressed over this right now!.
my situation in every sense including geographically , is not where i want to be!.
i feel really depressed because i worry ill be trapped here FOREVER or it will take to long to be able to work to get out of the situationWww@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
I'm sorry you've had such a hard life!. I think that you can do anything that you want to do! The first thing is to get an education! You will also have to determine whether you want to do it in the UK or somewhere else!. I live in the US and opprotunities here unimaginable!. You will be ok!. If you would like you can keep me posted and I can try to help you with anything!. Good luck hope it all works out!!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
hey, i may not be as old as you or anything, but i do know one thing, and this is something you should always remember!.!.!.its never too late!.
there will never be a time when its going to be too late to do something, because there is always a way!.!.!.its just how the world and reality works!. when there is a problem, there is always a solution!.
why don't you try this!.!.!. stay in home without going out or having any contact with anyone for a day!. spend the whole day thinking, just thinking!.!.!.about everything that's happening, cry if you have to, punch the wall if you have to!.!.!.or, if you feel like it, write, sing, draw, paint!. splash whatever you can find on a blank wall and create whatever your emotions can conceive!. grab a pen and paper and write your own world!. bring out your inner child and sing the song of your memories!.
i call myself an expressionist, someone who see's emotion in everything, and i think we have a lot in common!.
trust me, express yourself, its what i do when i get really down!.
!. show your emotions in a more colorful way, sure you can still hit something, its easy, BUT!.!.!.its so much more fulfilling if you create something beautiful!. there is nothing more beautiful than emotion, and putting that into its physical form is even more stunning!.
who knows!? if you express enough, you might even be discovered
lead your life again, its not too late
your dreams are all that matter, use your emotions as a bridge to that beautiful beach house you've always dreamed of, use your emotions to be known!.
what I've noticed about your life, its so full of color, its so full of emotions!.
Put all of your feelings in paint, or ink, or even sound!.
this will go a very very long way to getting your dreams fulfilled, so what if you don't get a job in computers!? wouldn't it be so much more fulfilling to be an artist!. you have all the potential in the world to be one!. don't you think its time for you to be set free!? get out of the trap the world has encased you in, and just breakaway!. the cage is rusting and its time for you to escape, you can do this!. whatever talent your going to form im sure your gonna be good at it, and i feel, with the highest amount of assurance that your going to get out of this!.!.!.
its going to be hard!.!.!.it already is, BUT you must not stop trying!.
that's just the key to it, don't stop!. don't let any disorder get in the way, remember there is always a way, which means there is a solution to anything that can hinder you from your dreams!.
you can make it!.!.!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com
there will never be a time when its going to be too late to do something, because there is always a way!.!.!.its just how the world and reality works!. when there is a problem, there is always a solution!.
why don't you try this!.!.!. stay in home without going out or having any contact with anyone for a day!. spend the whole day thinking, just thinking!.!.!.about everything that's happening, cry if you have to, punch the wall if you have to!.!.!.or, if you feel like it, write, sing, draw, paint!. splash whatever you can find on a blank wall and create whatever your emotions can conceive!. grab a pen and paper and write your own world!. bring out your inner child and sing the song of your memories!.
i call myself an expressionist, someone who see's emotion in everything, and i think we have a lot in common!.
trust me, express yourself, its what i do when i get really down!.
!. show your emotions in a more colorful way, sure you can still hit something, its easy, BUT!.!.!.its so much more fulfilling if you create something beautiful!. there is nothing more beautiful than emotion, and putting that into its physical form is even more stunning!.
who knows!? if you express enough, you might even be discovered
lead your life again, its not too late
your dreams are all that matter, use your emotions as a bridge to that beautiful beach house you've always dreamed of, use your emotions to be known!.
what I've noticed about your life, its so full of color, its so full of emotions!.
Put all of your feelings in paint, or ink, or even sound!.
this will go a very very long way to getting your dreams fulfilled, so what if you don't get a job in computers!? wouldn't it be so much more fulfilling to be an artist!. you have all the potential in the world to be one!. don't you think its time for you to be set free!? get out of the trap the world has encased you in, and just breakaway!. the cage is rusting and its time for you to escape, you can do this!. whatever talent your going to form im sure your gonna be good at it, and i feel, with the highest amount of assurance that your going to get out of this!.!.!.
its going to be hard!.!.!.it already is, BUT you must not stop trying!.
that's just the key to it, don't stop!. don't let any disorder get in the way, remember there is always a way, which means there is a solution to anything that can hinder you from your dreams!.
you can make it!.!.!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com
I DONT KNOW IF YOUR BELIEVE IN GOD BUT YOU SHOULD START LOOKING FOR HIM, I CAN GUARANTEE YOU IF YOU KEEP YOUR EYES ON HIM THINGS WILL ALWAYS BE BETTER, THERE'S A BOOK I READ CALLED BECOME A BETTER YOU BY JOEL OSTEEN, IM SURE IT'LL HELP YOU TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
One each day count your blessing the fact you have somewhere to live for a start and food to eat it will help you to feel more positive!.
Another go to doctors and ask to see the counsellor and get counselling and ask the doctor if you can go for group therapy the list is long but worth waiting for!.
Go to church and read bible you will think differently what sinks in affects us!. God made you and you are special and have alot to offer believe it its truth and learn to love yourself!.
read the overcoming series on depression and concentrate on building your self esteem!.
Go to a local college and sign up for a course it will do you good to get out meeting people and you will meet some nice ones, help out at a local charity helping others makes us feel happier!. take care love deniseWww@Answer-Health@Com
Another go to doctors and ask to see the counsellor and get counselling and ask the doctor if you can go for group therapy the list is long but worth waiting for!.
Go to church and read bible you will think differently what sinks in affects us!. God made you and you are special and have alot to offer believe it its truth and learn to love yourself!.
read the overcoming series on depression and concentrate on building your self esteem!.
Go to a local college and sign up for a course it will do you good to get out meeting people and you will meet some nice ones, help out at a local charity helping others makes us feel happier!. take care love deniseWww@Answer-Health@Com