Please let me know if i am wrong?!
Question: Please let me know if i am wrong!?
Hi,
This is how it begins:
I am a 26 years old man/boy (whatever is the right word)!. I work!. I joined a dance class (since this is my passion) recently!. Now, I am straight and I don't look at every aspect with the goggles of s*x!. There's a 15 years old boy in the class who is a really good dancer!. Incidentally, we are in the same batch!. We dance thrice a week for an hour together, and that batch has two other girls, who are that boy's age and the three of them are school-friends!.
Our dance class group (around 20 of us) had been to an overnight excursion, where all of us enjoyed, played, laughed, enjoyed!. This was in June-end of 2008!. There, I don't know why I started liking him as a friend!. After we returned too we didn't talk too much, because he's a quiet person, and I am also very very quiet a person - at least with new people!.
Then came an event, where in we all had to dance together in a close someone's wedding, where we practiced together, and I started liking him more!. It was only after the event that I joined Facebook, and was new to it!. Added him as a friend, and talked a few general things!. I liked him much much more, but still was not aware if he's comfortable with me as a friend!.
I used to send him FB messages, SMS messages, but I hardly got replies back!. It was his birthday late August, when I gifted him a printed mug with a message stating, "With lots of love and best wishes", and by now, according to me, I had written quite a few times that I simply love him too much, as a friend, as a brother, as a buddy!. He hardly replied to my mails, SMSs, etc!.!.!.
Possibilities could be that he has lots of friends, and I am just one of them, or he is not very fluent in computers (though this seems to be untrue looking at how frequently he logs in to Pet Society), or may be he's too busy in his life to reply back to me!. I really don't know!. Now, according to my understanding, he should be completely knowing that I love him too much, then wasn't it his responsibility to be equally considerate!? All I expected was the care of my love for him - I never expected him to say, "Yaaaa, I love you too!.!.!." and all that!. But it hardly reflected from his actions!. We continued dancing in our batch, but he hardly talked!.
I got upset day-by-day, since in spite of having told him several times, he never responded back!. I used to wonder, why this boy is not even caring to reply to my SMSs/mails!? Why is he not talking to me!? Did I hurt him!? Or does he think I am g*y, and is staying far from me!? Somehow, I wanted to still tell him that his responses are lacked, and I am missing them badly!. Or is he simply innocent, or unaware, or careless!? Or is it that he is only interested girls and in those dirty things that teens usually like!?
For about a week, I was just awaiting, sleepless nights thinking about the above, back-ache due to thinking too much, stress, tension, headache, and many sad thoughts!. Lack of concentration on work, etc!. etc!.
Finally, today, I wrote this email to him:
***************
"Enuf of that writing on the FB status each and every day!. It's very easy for everybody to read, make fun of it, forget it, but what pain I am going through is in my ACTUAL life, in my day-to-day living!.
My brain pains like hell at times!. My back-ache is for the same reason!. I have run into insomnia - I wake up at 4 AM and then unable to sleep!.
I thought reading those messages, sometimes I would get a mail from you or you would come up to me asking, 'Why!? What have I done!?', or may be the reason why I am saying that someone hurt me, because I am sure by now you know that YOU are that someone!. I am also sure by now you know how much I love you (as I shamelessly wrote to you a few days back in my card and all)!. If not, I am very sad to know that you were simply unaware even after those long boring mails of mine!.
I just wanted to let you know that YOU are that one, whom I am referring to time and again, and I am 99% sure you know/knew that!. If you didn't, sorry! If you did and still didn't get back, sorry, I will never ever bother you again!. I may sound MAD, but this is what I am going through these days!.
Only when you feel you are missing someone in your life, my doors are always open!. I am always there!.
I am really gripped by SADness today!. I don't want you to feel guilty though!.
Anything you want to clarify regarding this, any qns you may have in mind, feel free to ask!. Anything you want to say to me regarding this, feel free!.
It may all be my mind's game, I guess, but when you love someone so much, and that person simply doesn't get back, it hurts, doesn't it!?!?!?"
***************
What if he was innocent!? Was I wrong!? Will this break!? How do I behave in the class now!? I am unable to concentrate on my work, my life, and life simply seems to be aimless now!. I might just go into depression, it seems!. PLEASE HELP!!!
1 hour ago - 3 days left to answer!.
Now, what has happened is I am unable to even sWww@Answer-Health@Com
This is how it begins:
I am a 26 years old man/boy (whatever is the right word)!. I work!. I joined a dance class (since this is my passion) recently!. Now, I am straight and I don't look at every aspect with the goggles of s*x!. There's a 15 years old boy in the class who is a really good dancer!. Incidentally, we are in the same batch!. We dance thrice a week for an hour together, and that batch has two other girls, who are that boy's age and the three of them are school-friends!.
Our dance class group (around 20 of us) had been to an overnight excursion, where all of us enjoyed, played, laughed, enjoyed!. This was in June-end of 2008!. There, I don't know why I started liking him as a friend!. After we returned too we didn't talk too much, because he's a quiet person, and I am also very very quiet a person - at least with new people!.
Then came an event, where in we all had to dance together in a close someone's wedding, where we practiced together, and I started liking him more!. It was only after the event that I joined Facebook, and was new to it!. Added him as a friend, and talked a few general things!. I liked him much much more, but still was not aware if he's comfortable with me as a friend!.
I used to send him FB messages, SMS messages, but I hardly got replies back!. It was his birthday late August, when I gifted him a printed mug with a message stating, "With lots of love and best wishes", and by now, according to me, I had written quite a few times that I simply love him too much, as a friend, as a brother, as a buddy!. He hardly replied to my mails, SMSs, etc!.!.!.
Possibilities could be that he has lots of friends, and I am just one of them, or he is not very fluent in computers (though this seems to be untrue looking at how frequently he logs in to Pet Society), or may be he's too busy in his life to reply back to me!. I really don't know!. Now, according to my understanding, he should be completely knowing that I love him too much, then wasn't it his responsibility to be equally considerate!? All I expected was the care of my love for him - I never expected him to say, "Yaaaa, I love you too!.!.!." and all that!. But it hardly reflected from his actions!. We continued dancing in our batch, but he hardly talked!.
I got upset day-by-day, since in spite of having told him several times, he never responded back!. I used to wonder, why this boy is not even caring to reply to my SMSs/mails!? Why is he not talking to me!? Did I hurt him!? Or does he think I am g*y, and is staying far from me!? Somehow, I wanted to still tell him that his responses are lacked, and I am missing them badly!. Or is he simply innocent, or unaware, or careless!? Or is it that he is only interested girls and in those dirty things that teens usually like!?
For about a week, I was just awaiting, sleepless nights thinking about the above, back-ache due to thinking too much, stress, tension, headache, and many sad thoughts!. Lack of concentration on work, etc!. etc!.
Finally, today, I wrote this email to him:
***************
"Enuf of that writing on the FB status each and every day!. It's very easy for everybody to read, make fun of it, forget it, but what pain I am going through is in my ACTUAL life, in my day-to-day living!.
My brain pains like hell at times!. My back-ache is for the same reason!. I have run into insomnia - I wake up at 4 AM and then unable to sleep!.
I thought reading those messages, sometimes I would get a mail from you or you would come up to me asking, 'Why!? What have I done!?', or may be the reason why I am saying that someone hurt me, because I am sure by now you know that YOU are that someone!. I am also sure by now you know how much I love you (as I shamelessly wrote to you a few days back in my card and all)!. If not, I am very sad to know that you were simply unaware even after those long boring mails of mine!.
I just wanted to let you know that YOU are that one, whom I am referring to time and again, and I am 99% sure you know/knew that!. If you didn't, sorry! If you did and still didn't get back, sorry, I will never ever bother you again!. I may sound MAD, but this is what I am going through these days!.
Only when you feel you are missing someone in your life, my doors are always open!. I am always there!.
I am really gripped by SADness today!. I don't want you to feel guilty though!.
Anything you want to clarify regarding this, any qns you may have in mind, feel free to ask!. Anything you want to say to me regarding this, feel free!.
It may all be my mind's game, I guess, but when you love someone so much, and that person simply doesn't get back, it hurts, doesn't it!?!?!?"
***************
What if he was innocent!? Was I wrong!? Will this break!? How do I behave in the class now!? I am unable to concentrate on my work, my life, and life simply seems to be aimless now!. I might just go into depression, it seems!. PLEASE HELP!!!
1 hour ago - 3 days left to answer!.
Now, what has happened is I am unable to even sWww@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
regardless of your sexuality hes a kid and your an adult be a role model not a buddy big difference Www@Answer-Health@Com
I would leave him alone!. You are coming on a bit strong and you are probably scaring him!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think your behavior is probably sending messages that you are a little obsessive and might like him more than a friend!. If he is uncomfortable with it, he is likely to just ignore you!.!.!.
I do think it's important to state how you feel, but he may not be the same kind of emotional, sensitive person that you are!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I do think it's important to state how you feel, but he may not be the same kind of emotional, sensitive person that you are!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You said yourself that he's quiet, but you're really bugging him now!. I have to be honest, if any same-sex person gave me that much attention I'd be a little worried by now, but now you've kind of crossed the line no matter who it is!. Seriously, back off!Www@Answer-Health@Com
If your 26 and he is 15 then it may seem a little weird to him!. If you enjoy being around him then articulate it in that fashion!. Love is a very serious word, especially when used with "I" and "you"!. At 26, you are a man and should conduct yourself within certain parameters!. If you persistently contacted him and repeatedly told him the depths of your feelings, then he, especially if he's straight, is freaked out!. If you do talk to him, tell him that you apologize for your over zealousness and would like a chance to be a friend of his not "the" friend of his!.
I don't feel like you are completely honest about your feelings!. If you had not stated that you were straight in your Answers' question, I would have assumed you were gay and I believe that is what this young boy is thinking!. You need to do some serious soul searching bro!. Guys do not express themselves that much (not that there's anything wrong with it) and are afraid to share feelings sometimes!. I am a straight, married man who is comfortable with my sexuality and there are men, other devout heterosexuals, that I know to where we can say "Love ya' man" without someone going "oooohhhh"!. The best thing to do is to find some friends your own age and think about how someone will take what you are going to say before you say it!. Be yourself first and if you are a man then act like a man!. You could also go ask a counselour, confidentially, their opinion!. You need to be cautious about your approaches!. If I had a 15 year old and a 26 year old was telling him that he loved him, me and that guy would have a serious talk!. Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I don't feel like you are completely honest about your feelings!. If you had not stated that you were straight in your Answers' question, I would have assumed you were gay and I believe that is what this young boy is thinking!. You need to do some serious soul searching bro!. Guys do not express themselves that much (not that there's anything wrong with it) and are afraid to share feelings sometimes!. I am a straight, married man who is comfortable with my sexuality and there are men, other devout heterosexuals, that I know to where we can say "Love ya' man" without someone going "oooohhhh"!. The best thing to do is to find some friends your own age and think about how someone will take what you are going to say before you say it!. Be yourself first and if you are a man then act like a man!. You could also go ask a counselour, confidentially, their opinion!. You need to be cautious about your approaches!. If I had a 15 year old and a 26 year old was telling him that he loved him, me and that guy would have a serious talk!. Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Im not sure why you have such an attachment to this boy!. And to be honest, if I were him, I would be a bit creeped out as well!. It DOES sound as if you are interested in him in a sexual way and the age difference makes that wrong!. Why aren't you as attached to the girls in your "batch"!?
You guys dance together that is all and that is all it should be!. He has friends his age to occupy him and if any adult were ever to read your email to him, you sound like a pedophile (not saying you ARE) but you sound like one, and you could get in trouble for it!.
I say just give up!. Again, Im not sure why you are so attached to him but I think it's time to give it up and find some friends your own age to love!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You guys dance together that is all and that is all it should be!. He has friends his age to occupy him and if any adult were ever to read your email to him, you sound like a pedophile (not saying you ARE) but you sound like one, and you could get in trouble for it!.
I say just give up!. Again, Im not sure why you are so attached to him but I think it's time to give it up and find some friends your own age to love!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Well do you have a girlfriend!? Are you the only child I mean the only son!? If you dont have a girlfriend you need to get one cuz I dont want to gudge you but I think that you are gay or you have an obssesion with your pal!. And If you are the only child I will understand that you love him like a brother but guys usually dont tell their feelings for another guy maybe you dont tell him the exact word I LOVE YOU but you are showing him with your actions!. I think that you are scarring him you are acting worst than a jelaous girlfriend just talk to him that you like to spend time with him and that you are not gay or trying to scared him cuz you really are I mean that guy must be living a hell which you created for him!.But my dear friend If you are gay just accepted there is nothing you can do about it but If you are not just leave him alone for a little while and make new friends!Www@Answer-Health@Com
sorry to say this but you are coming through as gay even if you are not!. i'd say that this guy thinks that maybe you are and that he is straight and you scared him!. for right now you need to leave him alone and let him sort things out in his own way!. especially since you wrote that he is shy and quiet to start with!.Www@Answer-Health@Com