Can you help me?why do i do this and how can i stop?!
Question: Can you help me!?why do i do this and how can i stop!?
I am seeing a mental health nurse!. I have bad depression and very low self esteem, i feel like i am an evil person and everyone i met always ends up hating me as i bring them down!. Since i was a teenage i would go through phrases of adoring a person and wishing they would care for me almost like a mother figure!. Now i am mid twenties and i am still doing that!. I had a friend who is older than me and i adored her but because of my low self esteem i would constantly tell her she didn't like me etc and in the end i pushed her away!. Now i am having that feeling with my nurse and i just want her to care about me other than a patient i want her to care for me and be there for me and i want her to cuddle me and tell me that everything will be ok!. I am very suicidal and self harm alot!. I am don't fancy them i just want them to be a mother figure!. I hate my mother and have done since i was a child although i can't tell you why as i don't know why!. Can anybody tell me why i go through this!? How i could stop it!? I am going to ring my nurse on monday and stop the appointments with her, i know she will be worried as i am being watched carefully as i am suicidal but it will be for the best as i will only make her hate me and plus she can't and doesn't care for meWww@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Hi
The key thing here is that you have recognised something that is causing you problems!.!.!.!. I too have been in similar situations to the ones you describe, and I know how difficult it can be to change how we deal with relationships!. Believe me though, knowing how we are likely to react does make it easier to ensure that we don't keep on repeating the pattern!.
As others have already said, it would be a good idea to print out what you have written here and taking it to show your mental health nurse!. She should be able to help you look at your behaviour and look at ways of dealing with it so that it isn't destructive to relationships!. For me counselling and psychotherapy have helped me!. Ask if it is possible to be referred to one of these services in your area!. Something to bear in mind is how long this can take, referrals can take a long time and waiting lists seem to be very long!. I know in my area it can take as long as 3 years before you are seen!
Please try these links to the Mind website
Understanding depression:
http://www!.mind!.org!.uk/Information/Bookl!.!.!.
How to cope with suicidal feelings:
http://www!.mind!.org!.uk/Information/Bookl!.!.!.
Understanding self harm:
http://www!.mind!.org!.uk/Information/Bookl!.!.!.
the information is easy to read and understand!.
One of the things to do would be to find a support network where you know that you will be listened to without being judged and where you know that you won't be rejected!. That way you will find that you don't have to feel so needy and attach yourself to one person, this certainly helped me!.
My suggestion would be to contact your local mental health charity:
http://www!.mind!.org!.uk/Mind+in+your+area!.!.!.
They are really easy to access, you don't have to be referred by anyone else, and it only takes a phone call!.
People there are much less formal than the health services, which some people find helpful!. They have lots of understanding and can offer you support, guidance and information, and you will find that they are usually more readily available than others you see (I am assuming that you only see your mental health nurse once or twice a month), whereas you may be able to use drop-in facilities every week!.
It will give you a safe haven to use as and when you need it, and having other people who will understand and listen to you means that you don't have to rely on just one person for your emotional needs!.
Hopefully this will take the pressure off you 'searching' for that one individual who you want to believe can in some way be the mother you never had!.
Openly talking about this and admitting that you realise it's something you have done in the past will help you look at the way you relate to people and to start and maintain healthy relationships from now on!. If not then you will continue this pattern and keep pushing people away when all you really want is someone to understand and care for you who won't abandon you!.
Hope this helps!.
Take care and good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
The key thing here is that you have recognised something that is causing you problems!.!.!.!. I too have been in similar situations to the ones you describe, and I know how difficult it can be to change how we deal with relationships!. Believe me though, knowing how we are likely to react does make it easier to ensure that we don't keep on repeating the pattern!.
As others have already said, it would be a good idea to print out what you have written here and taking it to show your mental health nurse!. She should be able to help you look at your behaviour and look at ways of dealing with it so that it isn't destructive to relationships!. For me counselling and psychotherapy have helped me!. Ask if it is possible to be referred to one of these services in your area!. Something to bear in mind is how long this can take, referrals can take a long time and waiting lists seem to be very long!. I know in my area it can take as long as 3 years before you are seen!
Please try these links to the Mind website
Understanding depression:
http://www!.mind!.org!.uk/Information/Bookl!.!.!.
How to cope with suicidal feelings:
http://www!.mind!.org!.uk/Information/Bookl!.!.!.
Understanding self harm:
http://www!.mind!.org!.uk/Information/Bookl!.!.!.
the information is easy to read and understand!.
One of the things to do would be to find a support network where you know that you will be listened to without being judged and where you know that you won't be rejected!. That way you will find that you don't have to feel so needy and attach yourself to one person, this certainly helped me!.
My suggestion would be to contact your local mental health charity:
http://www!.mind!.org!.uk/Mind+in+your+area!.!.!.
They are really easy to access, you don't have to be referred by anyone else, and it only takes a phone call!.
People there are much less formal than the health services, which some people find helpful!. They have lots of understanding and can offer you support, guidance and information, and you will find that they are usually more readily available than others you see (I am assuming that you only see your mental health nurse once or twice a month), whereas you may be able to use drop-in facilities every week!.
It will give you a safe haven to use as and when you need it, and having other people who will understand and listen to you means that you don't have to rely on just one person for your emotional needs!.
Hopefully this will take the pressure off you 'searching' for that one individual who you want to believe can in some way be the mother you never had!.
Openly talking about this and admitting that you realise it's something you have done in the past will help you look at the way you relate to people and to start and maintain healthy relationships from now on!. If not then you will continue this pattern and keep pushing people away when all you really want is someone to understand and care for you who won't abandon you!.
Hope this helps!.
Take care and good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You should not continue seeing the same nurse if this is what you think, the nurse is used to this kind of attention!.
I think you are not being given the right kind of treatment, you need medication, and to be seeing a therapist minimum or a psychiatrist!.
You are obviously not getting the right treatment and need to ask for an alternative!.
Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think you are not being given the right kind of treatment, you need medication, and to be seeing a therapist minimum or a psychiatrist!.
You are obviously not getting the right treatment and need to ask for an alternative!.
Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Show your nurse what you have written here if she is any good she will be able to help you
if not you need someone else to help
try to love yourself and think on this!.!.!.
People on here are answering your question so you are not alone or isolated
there are caring people in the world
just accept this and don't panic xWww@Answer-Health@Com
if not you need someone else to help
try to love yourself and think on this!.!.!.
People on here are answering your question so you are not alone or isolated
there are caring people in the world
just accept this and don't panic xWww@Answer-Health@Com
This is yahoo answers, we are not nurse maids!. I suggest you phone the Samaritans!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
get helpWww@Answer-Health@Com
dear, you are facing a problem which is so common!. and there are ways to overcome them like the millions of people who recovered form it!.
the major problem is you are having a inferiority complex!. a condition which makes you think the way you are behaving!.
for that there are therapies!. (one important thing you can do is if you believe in god!.trust in him!. ask his help to overcome your problem, make him your best friend,he will be by your side, he will protect you, and he will be a good friend a friend no one can have)
if you don't believe in god its o!.k there are other ways you can over come this problem!.
i would like to help you!. take care!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
the major problem is you are having a inferiority complex!. a condition which makes you think the way you are behaving!.
for that there are therapies!. (one important thing you can do is if you believe in god!.trust in him!. ask his help to overcome your problem, make him your best friend,he will be by your side, he will protect you, and he will be a good friend a friend no one can have)
if you don't believe in god its o!.k there are other ways you can over come this problem!.
i would like to help you!. take care!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
maybe you should show your nurse what you have written here!? It would provide some insight into the way you feel and why you do the things you do!. You need to talk about these things to someone that can help you, and that is what she is there for!. It sounds like you are craving love and attention all the time!. Everyone does this to a certain extent, but maybe you do it more than most, and thats due to your depression!.
you dont have to stop seeing your nurse, you would just get given anothr one anyway, and it may be someone that you dont like or something!
Ignore the negative comments you may get on here (like the first one) some people just seem to want to upset others and are not at very sensitive- they are usually pretty insecure themselves!.
I hope you get some good answers here and that you get what you need to make yourself feel happy one day :)Www@Answer-Health@Com
you dont have to stop seeing your nurse, you would just get given anothr one anyway, and it may be someone that you dont like or something!
Ignore the negative comments you may get on here (like the first one) some people just seem to want to upset others and are not at very sensitive- they are usually pretty insecure themselves!.
I hope you get some good answers here and that you get what you need to make yourself feel happy one day :)Www@Answer-Health@Com