What to do about a suicidal ex-girlfriend?!
Question: What to do about a suicidal ex-girlfriend!?
we went out for 4 months,
she was a rele good friend before our relationship and
a great gf at the beginning
after a while she got reallllly clingy and needy
and would text me 24/7 and if i didn't text back
send "did you get my last text!? :'(" every 5 mins (no joke) and things like that,
i cheated on her with one of our friends like a week before we broke up
**i know i'm a jerk, i promised myself i would never treat a girl this way, but it happened**
i hardly talked to her for a few months
then her sister told me she overdosed and was in the hospital
my ex told me it was b/c of me and tht i'm killing her slowly!.!.!.
i feel awful i dont know what to do,
i'm can't date her again b/c i'm not mature enough for relationships obviously!.!.!.
i still love her as a friend and would rather die than for her to be going through this and i know this is my fault i just want to help herWww@Answer-Health@Com
she was a rele good friend before our relationship and
a great gf at the beginning
after a while she got reallllly clingy and needy
and would text me 24/7 and if i didn't text back
send "did you get my last text!? :'(" every 5 mins (no joke) and things like that,
i cheated on her with one of our friends like a week before we broke up
**i know i'm a jerk, i promised myself i would never treat a girl this way, but it happened**
i hardly talked to her for a few months
then her sister told me she overdosed and was in the hospital
my ex told me it was b/c of me and tht i'm killing her slowly!.!.!.
i feel awful i dont know what to do,
i'm can't date her again b/c i'm not mature enough for relationships obviously!.!.!.
i still love her as a friend and would rather die than for her to be going through this and i know this is my fault i just want to help herWww@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
ok first of all you know youre a jerk for cheating, but whats done is done and at least youre man enough to admit it!. Honestly, this girl is not mature either to be in a healthy relationship!. I know you feel bad and you feel it is or could be your fault but its not!. yea you made a mistake probably broke her heart, but there is more to this girls story than you know!. she probably has problems at home or in her past and she is not happy with herself!. it is not your fault that she does not love herself enough to let you go and move on!. ive been cheated on b4 and i know it hurts and sux but i would never take my own life for someone who has done me wrong! or didnt want to be with me! its a call for help and attention! my advice is to leave her alone! her family needs to get counseling for her!. if you are close wit anyone she is related to or knows then let them know but dont keep contact with her!. change your number or wateva!. leave her alone seriously! she could be bipolar or mentally unstable somehow! your still young take it easy enjoy life but leave girls alone that get attached!. if your not ready to commit than keep it real and let that be known have no titles no boyfriend girlfriend stuff! Good luck to you!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Its kinda extreme love!.
If you don't think you are ready for relationship, then why did you started it!?
On the other hand, its some people nature that when they do something, they go to extreme level!. I think this is the case with you ex-gf!. Such people want and give love to any level!.
So, you can tell her the situation with you, I don't think she'll understand quickly or you can explain her that you are not ready!.
Hope this is helpful!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
If you don't think you are ready for relationship, then why did you started it!?
On the other hand, its some people nature that when they do something, they go to extreme level!. I think this is the case with you ex-gf!. Such people want and give love to any level!.
So, you can tell her the situation with you, I don't think she'll understand quickly or you can explain her that you are not ready!.
Hope this is helpful!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Oh, don't think it's your fault!. She obviously is an anxious person and she doesn't seem confident at all!. This was bound to happen, no matter who would've gone out with her!. I don't think you can do anything to help!. If you go and talk to her or something, it could make matters worst by making her think you two could get back together!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
shes being dramatic!. don't let her put the blame on you!. shiit happens in relationships all the damn time!. ppl cheat & others get cheated ON!. she's a little girl unready for life!. don't let her make u feel guilty, (trust me i know so many dramatic girls that go to the extreme) she's gonna do what she's gonna do!. her family can help her, u have nothing to do w/ it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You cannot help her in any way right now, it is best that she receive proper mental health care, especially after a suicide attempt!. Even if you were to date and marry her and have 3 kids, the instability would persist and cause other problems!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
set some boundaries and realize that her problems have nothing to do with you!. get your family and friends to support you!. change your phone number and get some counseling -you are way tooooo young for this much drama!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
First of all it's not your fault!. There is something wrong with the way she views the world!. She needs to get help and the best thing you can do is stay away!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
This sounds like a case of clingaphobia combined with abstract-egotism!.
U need to see her & offer ur support as a friend to find someone new to pester!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
U need to see her & offer ur support as a friend to find someone new to pester!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Do NOT accept that guilt!. Your ex is mentally ill and needs treatment!. You had nothing to do with her problems!. Stay far, far away from her!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
firstly, you need to know that this isn't your fault, no matter what anyone tells you!. depression and overdosing are symptoms of a bigger problem, deeper than the pain she felt through you!.
if you don't feel like you can talk to her, try writing her a letter!. you sound sincere and genuine, maybe just explain how much you care for her, remind her that what you did (cheating on her) was not her fault, that it wasn't that she wasn't good enough!. make sure she knows that she shouldn't have to feel the guilt for your actions!. reassure her, that she is worthy of the things she doesn't feel she is worthy of!.
i really wish the best for the both of you!. goodluck and take care!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
if you don't feel like you can talk to her, try writing her a letter!. you sound sincere and genuine, maybe just explain how much you care for her, remind her that what you did (cheating on her) was not her fault, that it wasn't that she wasn't good enough!. make sure she knows that she shouldn't have to feel the guilt for your actions!. reassure her, that she is worthy of the things she doesn't feel she is worthy of!.
i really wish the best for the both of you!. goodluck and take care!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I made some mistakes like that when I was several years older than you are now!. Clearly you regret having messed around on her, and regret hurting her and so forth!. Clearly she has a "dramatic" streak and borders on trying to control you!. That doesn't mean she's a bad person necessarily; when we think we are drowning we will pull other people under, who are trying to pull us to shore!.
Obviously you still care a lot about her!. If you guys are still talking, it would probably make sense to ask her what she wants from you!. If you are sure that a romantic relationship isn't right for your needs, then you need to know where she is with that!. Holding you hostage while she threatens to kill herself, is not much of a workable relationship for you, and may be also putting her in danger!. A lot of it comes down to what is motivating her to do all of the drama; you are right, it is not a good sign for long-term-survivability of a relationship, romantic or otherwise!.
I'm sure you will get tired of hearing this, but you guys are pretty young and still developing a sense of yourselves!. I would generally recommend, if possible, keeping things on the footing where they are: you were friends to start with and maybe you can keep it that way for a while, and help each other to heal!. Some time later (probably years, not months) you can take the "relationship" thing to a different level!.
On a practical note, she needs to understand that being "clingy" can drive you crazy!. There is nothing basically wrong with having "needs" but there is a problem expecting them to be provided for externally!. She needs to get it, that part of her needs are hers to provide for herself!. I hope that is a phase she is going through (feeling vulnerable and stuff) but if it's a "unifying life-script", it's not a good sign!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com
Obviously you still care a lot about her!. If you guys are still talking, it would probably make sense to ask her what she wants from you!. If you are sure that a romantic relationship isn't right for your needs, then you need to know where she is with that!. Holding you hostage while she threatens to kill herself, is not much of a workable relationship for you, and may be also putting her in danger!. A lot of it comes down to what is motivating her to do all of the drama; you are right, it is not a good sign for long-term-survivability of a relationship, romantic or otherwise!.
I'm sure you will get tired of hearing this, but you guys are pretty young and still developing a sense of yourselves!. I would generally recommend, if possible, keeping things on the footing where they are: you were friends to start with and maybe you can keep it that way for a while, and help each other to heal!. Some time later (probably years, not months) you can take the "relationship" thing to a different level!.
On a practical note, she needs to understand that being "clingy" can drive you crazy!. There is nothing basically wrong with having "needs" but there is a problem expecting them to be provided for externally!. She needs to get it, that part of her needs are hers to provide for herself!. I hope that is a phase she is going through (feeling vulnerable and stuff) but if it's a "unifying life-script", it's not a good sign!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com
It's not your fault, she has deeper issues obviously!.
You probably did help add to her stress & depression, but there is nothing you can do to help her at this point, she needs more help than you can provide!. Just let her know whenever you talk to her, or see her, even give her a call sometime, that you are there for her & you do care about her existence!. Tell her you are still immature & not ready for a relationship but would love to be her friend & help her though any hardships she might come across in the future!. That's about all you can do man!.!.!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
You probably did help add to her stress & depression, but there is nothing you can do to help her at this point, she needs more help than you can provide!. Just let her know whenever you talk to her, or see her, even give her a call sometime, that you are there for her & you do care about her existence!. Tell her you are still immature & not ready for a relationship but would love to be her friend & help her though any hardships she might come across in the future!. That's about all you can do man!.!.!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
Her family will be there for her, it's sad, but believe me to stay with that, your right-you are too young to be dealing with that!. At least learn from this issue!. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT-she obviously needs help and if she doesn't get it, this will always be a pattern for her!. Just consider this a learning lesson and don't you repeat finding someone like this-although sometime we tend to gravitate back to the same type people!. You will probably not be able to stay friends-your a guy and it's natural to feel the way you do-then she will get confused-and the cycle starts again!. Her sister and family knows about it and will make sure to get her help-that's where she needs to be!.Www@Answer-Health@Com