Please help with my problems .. i just want to end it all?!
Question: Please help with my problems !.!. i just want to end it all!?
Hi all
I have been feeling really low about the abuse I have endured as a child it really gets to me at night so I try to sleep it off but tonight I aint sleeping and I don
Answers:
I have been feeling really low about the abuse I have endured as a child it really gets to me at night so I try to sleep it off but tonight I aint sleeping and I don
Answers:
Candice,
Sexual abuse is never easy to get over, but it can be conquered with a lot of hard work!. This is where DBT will be helpful with regulating emotions and distress tolerance until you can let go of what happened -- something I know is not easy!. While I was not held at gunpoint, I was repeatedly molested by my father and told that my Mom would never believe me and wouldn't love me if I told!. I was the angry borderline person!.!.!.so I can relate to wanting to end it all -- and remember that those feelings are also part of the disorder -- the desire to self-injure or suicidal ideation!.
I think you need to remember that you are in a fragile place right now and be gentle with yourself and remember that it took a long time to get to where you are now, and it does take time to get over a past of abuse and the first thing you have to do is forgive yourself -- you are not at fault!. Why he did it!? You may never know!.!.!.he was an a**hole who took advantage of a kid, but you need to let go of the why and deal with you!. You can heal!.!.!.!.you are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for!.
Please forgive yourself for being abused and love yourself!.!.that is the first big step in letting go and healing, from someone who has been there!. You will get there, I promise! Feel free to email me from the contact page if you want to do so!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Sexual abuse is never easy to get over, but it can be conquered with a lot of hard work!. This is where DBT will be helpful with regulating emotions and distress tolerance until you can let go of what happened -- something I know is not easy!. While I was not held at gunpoint, I was repeatedly molested by my father and told that my Mom would never believe me and wouldn't love me if I told!. I was the angry borderline person!.!.!.so I can relate to wanting to end it all -- and remember that those feelings are also part of the disorder -- the desire to self-injure or suicidal ideation!.
I think you need to remember that you are in a fragile place right now and be gentle with yourself and remember that it took a long time to get to where you are now, and it does take time to get over a past of abuse and the first thing you have to do is forgive yourself -- you are not at fault!. Why he did it!? You may never know!.!.!.he was an a**hole who took advantage of a kid, but you need to let go of the why and deal with you!. You can heal!.!.!.!.you are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for!.
Please forgive yourself for being abused and love yourself!.!.that is the first big step in letting go and healing, from someone who has been there!. You will get there, I promise! Feel free to email me from the contact page if you want to do so!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Pleace call with any problem, anytime:
Girls and Boys Town "National Hotline"
Phone: 1-800-448-3000 (toll free)
Email: Hotline@girlsandboystown!.orgWww@Answer-Health@Com
Girls and Boys Town "National Hotline"
Phone: 1-800-448-3000 (toll free)
Email: Hotline@girlsandboystown!.orgWww@Answer-Health@Com
I freaking LOVE dog-ciclesWww@Answer-Health@Com
why would you put your dog in the freezer!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
I'm so sorry to hear all that you have experienced! And grateful to hear that you have people in your life trying to help you cope with your memories!.
I think healing works like everything else in life, you have to take it one day at a time!. And don't let a couple of bad days/nights get you too down!. Focus on trying to do one thing at a time, even though they all seem connected, just work on one at a time!. Like, work on yourself and recovering from your abuse before bringing in your children or your weight!. Try to prioritize your goals and work from there!. Once you are mentally healthy it'll be much easier for you to tackle your other goals!.
While I was in therapy for sexual abuse I did journal as your therapist recommended!. Obviously, that doesn't work for everyone, but it was really good for me to be able to truly see all the defeating things I said to myself while I was feeling my lowest!. Being able to look back, calmly and rationally, the next day at the things I wrote really helped me to see what were the real issues that I needed to work on, and where I was struggling the most!. It was also very helpful for my psychiatrist to see all my darkest places, and not just my "counselling" face!.
And I constantly reminded myself that winning the battle over mental illness, means simply surviving it! Not caving into that temptation to simply end the pain, meant I was stronger than I gave myself credit and made me victorious each and everyday! Let the people around you who care about you know specifically how they can help!. Loved ones always want to help, but don't often know how too, you telling them specifically what works for you and what doesn't is vital, and don't be afraid to share with them! Have an emergency number on hand for those nights when you feel your worst!. Whether it's a family member, a girlfriend, a professional or a hotline, use it when you need to!
My therapists recommended several great books/workbooks to me, and I used them all! They've since been passed off to other friends who also experienced sexual abuse, ask your psychiatrist what he/she recommends!. (www!.focusonthefamily!.org also has great online resources and a 1-800-line) Your recovery is a process you have to work through, on your own time!. You have suffered great loss and trauma, and you have to embrace that!. It's okay to be angry, and it's okay to grieve for what was taken from you!. Give yourself credit for working hard in therapy, and just do your best each day, knowing that some days will be better than others!. It sounds like you have a good professional support system, just be honest with them and open to their suggestions, have patience and belief in yourself!. Look for all the tiny victories in your daily life!. Remember, it takes more courage to ask for help and admit you can't do something by yourself than to simply try to deal on your own! Best of luck to you and may God Bless you!.
Encourage your loved ones, the ones closet to you to also reach out for support!. They can be a better support for you when they are being cared for emotionally as well!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think healing works like everything else in life, you have to take it one day at a time!. And don't let a couple of bad days/nights get you too down!. Focus on trying to do one thing at a time, even though they all seem connected, just work on one at a time!. Like, work on yourself and recovering from your abuse before bringing in your children or your weight!. Try to prioritize your goals and work from there!. Once you are mentally healthy it'll be much easier for you to tackle your other goals!.
While I was in therapy for sexual abuse I did journal as your therapist recommended!. Obviously, that doesn't work for everyone, but it was really good for me to be able to truly see all the defeating things I said to myself while I was feeling my lowest!. Being able to look back, calmly and rationally, the next day at the things I wrote really helped me to see what were the real issues that I needed to work on, and where I was struggling the most!. It was also very helpful for my psychiatrist to see all my darkest places, and not just my "counselling" face!.
And I constantly reminded myself that winning the battle over mental illness, means simply surviving it! Not caving into that temptation to simply end the pain, meant I was stronger than I gave myself credit and made me victorious each and everyday! Let the people around you who care about you know specifically how they can help!. Loved ones always want to help, but don't often know how too, you telling them specifically what works for you and what doesn't is vital, and don't be afraid to share with them! Have an emergency number on hand for those nights when you feel your worst!. Whether it's a family member, a girlfriend, a professional or a hotline, use it when you need to!
My therapists recommended several great books/workbooks to me, and I used them all! They've since been passed off to other friends who also experienced sexual abuse, ask your psychiatrist what he/she recommends!. (www!.focusonthefamily!.org also has great online resources and a 1-800-line) Your recovery is a process you have to work through, on your own time!. You have suffered great loss and trauma, and you have to embrace that!. It's okay to be angry, and it's okay to grieve for what was taken from you!. Give yourself credit for working hard in therapy, and just do your best each day, knowing that some days will be better than others!. It sounds like you have a good professional support system, just be honest with them and open to their suggestions, have patience and belief in yourself!. Look for all the tiny victories in your daily life!. Remember, it takes more courage to ask for help and admit you can't do something by yourself than to simply try to deal on your own! Best of luck to you and may God Bless you!.
Encourage your loved ones, the ones closet to you to also reach out for support!. They can be a better support for you when they are being cared for emotionally as well!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
Try to understand,there is a whole bunch of people that have problems too!.You are not alone!.
We must continue to keep on keeping on dispite troubles!.
The best way to overcome deppression is to help someone!.Volunteer at a V!.A!. or Rest Home!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
We must continue to keep on keeping on dispite troubles!.
The best way to overcome deppression is to help someone!.Volunteer at a V!.A!. or Rest Home!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It sounds to me that you are suicidal or on the verge of being suicidal!. You need to be honest with your therapist about this!. I too have bipolar disordar and was molested and raped at a young age!. However I have never gotten as low as you apparently are now!. I'm not sure what will help, so I am not going to presume to tell you!. It does sound like that you are not on the right medication!. But that is my personal opinion!. And maybe the therapist you are seeing isn't the right one for you!. If you know who attacked you why is he walking free!? It sounds like you reported this!. You said you are in a cabin, sounds like you are out in the country, maybe too far away from people and you should be closer to your family and friends so that you can socialize!. It's better to be around people, not necessarily to talk about your situation,(unless you want to), but so you can think about other things, like crafts, activities, or just getting out and doing things!. Yes you may have to make yourself just go at first, but you may find you like it!. Where are you, state!? I live in Troy, Mi!. There are many different kinds of therapists here!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
Asking why is something you could do for years, with no result!. Instead, ask what best to do about it!. Some (modified) previous answers follow: See Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, at http://www!.ezy-build!.net!.nz/~shaneris in section 33, (page i first) and examine the http://1-800-therapist!.com/ website, and use the locators in sections 33 - 34, and section 1, and phone book, and/or various associations for psychiatrists and psychologists, to find the nearest one using EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy)!. BPD is addressed in section 15, at ezy-build!.
Be aware that, because of their upbringing, people suffering from BPD (see section 15, at ezy build) tend to see things in terms of black and white, rather than shades of grey, and often idealise, then devalue, in relationships!. They also tend to have a great fear of abandonment, and sometimes go to extreme lengths to prevent it!. Use the locators, in section 1, at ezy build, and the phone book, to find a therapist who uses Dialectical Behavio(u)ral Therapy, or get a good book on the subject, and give to a therapist using Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy (fairly common, and probably nearby) and ask that it be incorporated into your treatment!. Read "I hate you: don't leave me!." by Jerold J!. Kreisman, m!.d!. and Hal Stras!. A workbook that offers good coping skills is Marsha Linehan's Skills Training Manual (a DBT Workbook)!. Try http://www!.amazon!.com/ for these!.
When you notice something negative, such as: "I'm never going to get over this!" or: "Why am I always so pathetic/useless/such a loser!?" or even: "I can't do this/will never get over this!", or a disturbing image, recognise that this is part of the mindset which will hold you back from progressing in your recovery!. Having identified and labelled it, visualise a large red "STOP!" sign, and/or possibly a stern faced person wagging an index finger at you in a negative manner, then say to yourself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!" You may want to use either: "ruse", "ploy", "game", or "trick", instead of "tactic"!. In the case of an image, visualise a large "STOP" sign, or your preferred version!.
Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary!. Remember to remove it, afterwards, if you use this method!. Use the above when thoughts of the dog come to mind!. EFT first! DBT second!. Your current methods will take much longer, if they work at all!. Go to: http://vaonlinesupport!.org/support!.html & http://www!.rapevictimadvocates!.org/ & http://www!.rape-victim-support!.com/ & http://www!.rainn!.org/ & http://www!.aftersilence!.org &
http://www!.pandys!.orgWww@Answer-Health@Com
Be aware that, because of their upbringing, people suffering from BPD (see section 15, at ezy build) tend to see things in terms of black and white, rather than shades of grey, and often idealise, then devalue, in relationships!. They also tend to have a great fear of abandonment, and sometimes go to extreme lengths to prevent it!. Use the locators, in section 1, at ezy build, and the phone book, to find a therapist who uses Dialectical Behavio(u)ral Therapy, or get a good book on the subject, and give to a therapist using Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy (fairly common, and probably nearby) and ask that it be incorporated into your treatment!. Read "I hate you: don't leave me!." by Jerold J!. Kreisman, m!.d!. and Hal Stras!. A workbook that offers good coping skills is Marsha Linehan's Skills Training Manual (a DBT Workbook)!. Try http://www!.amazon!.com/ for these!.
When you notice something negative, such as: "I'm never going to get over this!" or: "Why am I always so pathetic/useless/such a loser!?" or even: "I can't do this/will never get over this!", or a disturbing image, recognise that this is part of the mindset which will hold you back from progressing in your recovery!. Having identified and labelled it, visualise a large red "STOP!" sign, and/or possibly a stern faced person wagging an index finger at you in a negative manner, then say to yourself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!" You may want to use either: "ruse", "ploy", "game", or "trick", instead of "tactic"!. In the case of an image, visualise a large "STOP" sign, or your preferred version!.
Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary!. Remember to remove it, afterwards, if you use this method!. Use the above when thoughts of the dog come to mind!. EFT first! DBT second!. Your current methods will take much longer, if they work at all!. Go to: http://vaonlinesupport!.org/support!.html & http://www!.rapevictimadvocates!.org/ & http://www!.rape-victim-support!.com/ & http://www!.rainn!.org/ & http://www!.aftersilence!.org &
http://www!.pandys!.orgWww@Answer-Health@Com
You need to find some peace and love yourself again first!. I'm certainly not a preacher but I would highly recommend you attend your nearest buddhist retreat or monestary!. They will help you, not manage you, judge you or write you a prescription!. Give it a go!. Good luck!.
http://www!.buddhanet!.info/wbd/Www@Answer-Health@Com
http://www!.buddhanet!.info/wbd/Www@Answer-Health@Com
well, first of all, as you said, he held you to gunpoint
so it wasn' t your fault!. why beat yourself up like that!?
look ahead and don't look back!. If you get flashbacks try and think about something else, or buy a punching bag and let out all your anger!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
so it wasn' t your fault!. why beat yourself up like that!?
look ahead and don't look back!. If you get flashbacks try and think about something else, or buy a punching bag and let out all your anger!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Stop feeling sorry for yourself!. Why on earth would you put your dog in a freezer!?
You know what i dont get!? I have been molested and sexualy abused myself, but i got on with my life, why cant some people just not come over it!? The world is tough honey, and you have to show other people that you are tough, only you can help yourself!. Stop hurting other people cause your weak!. Stand up for yourself!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You know what i dont get!? I have been molested and sexualy abused myself, but i got on with my life, why cant some people just not come over it!? The world is tough honey, and you have to show other people that you are tough, only you can help yourself!. Stop hurting other people cause your weak!. Stand up for yourself!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
i was abused as well got beaten everyday!. It is hard and but I think you are doing a good things group therapy is very good i had it and a year of therapy with someone!. I get depressed sometimes still but nothing like i did and have more self respect for myself as i relise i carried alot of the blame of the past and anger!.
I have forgiven bitterness is a killer when we are angry we destroy relationships around us you must forgive for your own sake and place the blame where it truly lies with these people!.
It was very scary what you went through and wrong, you were just a child!. They will have to face the wrath of God when the book of life is opened and they are judged by God unless they are truly sorry!.
I think you should let go of the past as much as you can and look at the positive in yourself concetrate on the people who do like and accept you and not those pigs who were selfish and never gave a damm!.
I admire you for having the courage for wanting therapy and it will do you good!.
Take more care yourself treat your body with respect it has not been treated well in the past but this is the present!. read the bible learn more about how God loves you!. you will feel better about yourself because its what has really helped me in this life!. You belong to god you are his child now and he was the one who chose you to be born and can bring healing to your life and one day you will help others who have sufferred!. You have so much to offer and so important jesus died for you so take care and learn to love and be postive about yourself!. its a hard journey but well worth it!. love and God blessing to you and forgive yourself as well, we have all done wrong things we are ashamed of in our pasts when god forgives he forgets!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I have forgiven bitterness is a killer when we are angry we destroy relationships around us you must forgive for your own sake and place the blame where it truly lies with these people!.
It was very scary what you went through and wrong, you were just a child!. They will have to face the wrath of God when the book of life is opened and they are judged by God unless they are truly sorry!.
I think you should let go of the past as much as you can and look at the positive in yourself concetrate on the people who do like and accept you and not those pigs who were selfish and never gave a damm!.
I admire you for having the courage for wanting therapy and it will do you good!.
Take more care yourself treat your body with respect it has not been treated well in the past but this is the present!. read the bible learn more about how God loves you!. you will feel better about yourself because its what has really helped me in this life!. You belong to god you are his child now and he was the one who chose you to be born and can bring healing to your life and one day you will help others who have sufferred!. You have so much to offer and so important jesus died for you so take care and learn to love and be postive about yourself!. its a hard journey but well worth it!. love and God blessing to you and forgive yourself as well, we have all done wrong things we are ashamed of in our pasts when god forgives he forgets!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
My ex used to have the same problem or at least similar!. She got over it from seeing a therapist!. If your therapist can't help then see another one!. She said her problem was largely caused by over thinking!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Don't let him hold you prisoner anylonger, and believe me, if he thinks he got away with it-God has a way of taking care of people like that!. Consider your flashes and what you would do to take care of that little girl, do what you have to do for that little girl to get better-treat yourself good and however you possibly can free yourself!.
This may seem way out there but-as it is a Christian's way of dealing with it- forgive him-this is not for his benefit-but to untie you from his grip-then turn him over to God!. Tell God that you forgive him (by faith of course-although we don't always feel it) and ask him to help you deal with all that unforgiveness that built up all those years!. By cutting yourself out of the equation-God can step into the situation!. If you could seek after God that would be good!.
As far a the dog-forgive yourself-you were sick!. Wouldn't you forgive your children if they came to you with their issues-forgive yourself!. ANd if guilt plagues you-ask God to forgive you!.
Somethings we have no control over those things done to us when we were vulnerable-but one thing you do have-the way you treat yourself!. You are important and special and should be treated that way-if not by anyone else but YOU!. God bless you, I pray that you get better!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
This may seem way out there but-as it is a Christian's way of dealing with it- forgive him-this is not for his benefit-but to untie you from his grip-then turn him over to God!. Tell God that you forgive him (by faith of course-although we don't always feel it) and ask him to help you deal with all that unforgiveness that built up all those years!. By cutting yourself out of the equation-God can step into the situation!. If you could seek after God that would be good!.
As far a the dog-forgive yourself-you were sick!. Wouldn't you forgive your children if they came to you with their issues-forgive yourself!. ANd if guilt plagues you-ask God to forgive you!.
Somethings we have no control over those things done to us when we were vulnerable-but one thing you do have-the way you treat yourself!. You are important and special and should be treated that way-if not by anyone else but YOU!. God bless you, I pray that you get better!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
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