Given an ultimatum and don't know what to do?!


Question: Given an ultimatum and don't know what to do!?
Sorry for the long explanation, but please read!.

I'm sure by now a lot of you know my story kind of!.
I've been stressing about my parents going away the past couple of weeks, as my depression and anxiety got a lot worse!. I live in a village that we just moved to, so I don't know anyone, and all my friends live at least 30 minutes away!. I can't drive to them because my anxiety makes me disorientated and dizzy, and there's no bus service there!.

I spoke to my parents about asking them to stay!. My mum was fine with the idea as she is quite supportive and would do anything for me without holding it against me!. She also understands that my illness is JUST an illness and that I will get over it, it will just take time!. My father, however, is a different story!. When he found out, he wouldn't come out of his room for an entire day, and my mum had to take his food and drinks to him!. The next day he spent the entire day away from the house!. He blamed me for it!. However, when he came back, he admitted to my mum that he had been horrible to me, and was much nicer about the possibility of staying!.
The next week, I wasn't any better and so asked them to stay!. They were both ok with it at first, but my dad was quite dissapointed!. They called the insurance company to see if they could get a refund!.

Now a few days later, it seems my father has changed his mind!. He was moody all weekend, and when my parents got home today!.!.!. my mum said that if they don't go on this holiday, my father will never forgive me!. He thinks i'm a useless person who can never look after myself and blames me for everything!.

So I can either still ask them to stay, and have my father hate me for the rest of my life because he had to reschedule ONE holiday, or have them leave for 3 weeks and risk my sanity!. However, either way I think i'm risking my sanity!. How can I live with someone that is my FATHER that hates me, and thinks i'm useless!? It's impossible!. I don't know how I will ever get better living with someone like that!.

What should I do!? I have been trying to find someone that can stay with me, but no luck!. I can't stay with anyone else either, so far that's not an option!.

HELP!. I just need life to get better!. I need to get better!. But how can I do that under these conditions!?Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:

Hi there,
It looks like your father is really a different story!.!. its not exactly adult behavior to lock yourself in the room!!

First, you need to know that whatever you are going through is not a part of you and that your father belongs to a generation that has no clue about mental illness!. So whatever your father says or does, only reflects the fact that he is ignorant of what should be done!.!.

Is there a chance at all that you can go with them!? I don't know what your situation is, but perhaps a holiday may clear your head as well!?

If not, could they drive you to somewhere that you can stay for a few weeks (like a hospital, or a clinic!?)!.

If all else fails ,and you know that you are vulnerable and you need someone with you, then you need to work with your mum, and tell her that its ok if your father never forgives you (after all what he is requesting of you is not acceptable -he is your father-), you take the responsibility and that you really need her to stay!.
if its so important for your father, he should go himself and take a friend with him!.!.

hope things work out well!.!.

Www@Answer-Health@Com

is there a safe hospital for patients you can go to!?
You can stay with other people who can watch you!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com

Not all people understand mental illness; some think it's just all in your head!. Are you being treated/seeing a therapist/taking medication!? How long have you been this way!?Www@Answer-Health@Com

why don't you stay with family or friends!?Www@Answer-Health@Com

Is there a relative you can go and stay with or maybe get your parents to take you to one of your friends!?

I know that when I had my breakdown I didn't want be alone but my parents were going on holiday too!. I went and stayed at my nan's for a week!. I was still feeling down about everything but at least I had someone to talk to when I was and they knew me and understood me!.

If you want to talk feel free to message me!.

Www@Answer-Health@Com

Sorry, I don't know your story, BUT!.!.!.you are holding your parents captive, and the more confusing thing is they are letting you do it! You have lots of power in the family!.
And what, by the way, are you doing dead smack in the middle of their marriage!? Your Dad gets pissed, and communicates thru your mum!? Two adults want to go on holiday, and you want to make sure that doesn't happen!.
And what, pray tell is this poorly veiled threat that you can't get well living with your father!? You just said you couldn't tolerate him being away for 3 weeks!. You say you have a host of friends 30 miles away, well go stay with them while you parents go away!.
Better yet, have your family join you for 3 weeks of family therapy!!!
If you need to "get better", YOU are the one who needs to do the work, and from the sounds of it, you have yet to decide to do that! It is only when a situation gets too painful do we move and change, sounds like you have it exactly the way you want it, so don't go blaming your parents!.
Sorry to be harsh, but this question reeks of manipulation!
1)!. set up daily phone contact with your therapist, that way if you go "crazy" he/she can have you hospitalized!.
2)!. Is there a visiting nurse service in your area that can check in on you daily!?
3)!. think of the self esteem of survivng on your own for 3 weeks, but take it one day at a time , as the AA mantra goes!.
4)!. attend a day program while your parents are away!.
5)!. Own you illness, it's part of who you are!. Your mom maybe enabling you, but you are the one that has to live with it!. Take responsibility for it, and yourself!.Www@Answer-Health@Com





The consumer health information on answer-health.com is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007-2011 answer-health.com -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Categories