Please just HEAR ME OUT!?!


Question: Please just HEAR ME OUT!!?
i know many of you are going to give me stupid lectures on " why i so should NOT do this " and all that, i just desperately need some advice pronto!.!.!.

anyway, im 14 years old, and i got no personality issues, im semi-popular at school, and my school and social life is great!.!.!.just as soon as i get home, life becomes terrible, home for me is not a home, barely get food, my mum openly admits that she doesnt love me, she tells me about 4 times a week, she doesnt care if i die!.!.!.as she has previously TOLD me, my dad doesnt talk to me ever since i rocked up at his house drunk, because i tried to drink away my problems, ( PLEASE dont say- *whine* *whine* your too young to drink, blah blah blah ), plz dont say that because you probably have NO idea what i have to go through at home, all my friends dont understand me, they all think im just the goofy guy at school who is unintellegent ( im actually kinda smart ), every person at school who knows me ( most ppl ) think i have no problems, that i have a perfect life, but i HATE how nobody understands me, so, in a summary, i got a great life at school, many great friends, but home life is terrible, my dad doesnt care for me, my mum doesnt care for me, my brother hurts me every day, and he is year 12 so he is MUCH stronger and i cant defend myself against him, im strong but he is too strong for me, today he threw me on a desk, then picked me up and threw me onto a ceramic thing, it broke under me and i have a big cut down my back, and many scratches ( i wasnt wearing a shirt at the time, because i should know better but i didnt think ), then my brother laughed at me then walked into his room, while i just lied there bleeding!. ( yeah life sucks )

i have thought about suicide numerous times, such as trying to drink myself to death, thinking of the wrist thing, even considered jumping, thought about electrocuting myself!. sometimes i have thought of taking up smoking or marijuana just to help me through this, i also constantly punch mirrors, windows until they break!. ( it makes my hands and arms bleed, i cover it up at school with a jumper )

PLEASE give me some advice, im going through so much right now, all i want is some advice, not too much to ask, and PLEASE dont just make 2 word answers about how i shouldnt drink just to get yourself some points for this website, i need serious help, and i have nobody to turn to, my mom hates me, my dad hates me and occasionally hits me, my brother beats the **** through me almost 5 times a week, my friends wouldnt understand, they think im just a person with no problems whatsoever, so i got NOBODY to turn to, even the school counsellor isnt any kind of "resort" to me, but thats a different story!.

yeah thats my life story- go to school, six hours of happiness and laughter, get home 9 hours of hell, insults and fights with brother!.

OH YEAH, im not emo or anything, almost normal, some people call me good looking, so that isnt contributing to my sadness, i have a nice girlfriend who doesnt understand me like the others ( it annoys me so much ), many friends, so loneliness isnt the problem at all!.!.!.!.

its just my family, i hate it, i wanna run away, take up smoking and die in a hole where nobody will know or care!.!.!.PLEASE help me!.!.!.

again im not emo with the black hair and fingernails and stuff, im normal looking so dont be stereotypical with me and assume it!.

thanks for taking all this time to read my "question"
Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
After reading this I had to respond!. I know that you have so many people answering you that anything I say probably wont mean much!.!.!.but here goes!.

If you truly feel that you can not talk to a councilor at you school (which I think you should try before you dismiss) talk to your closest friend!. Tell them!.!.find a person to listen!. Get a job and save every penny (even if you cant work for a company at age 14 maybe you can do odd jobs!.!.lawn work, walking dogs!.!.a paper route!.!.anything!) Spend time doing sports, go the library and study family law if need be!.!.!.learn what your rights are!. Talk to your friends about staying with them since you said you don't have other family members you can stay with!. Even if its a different friend every weekend!.!.it will get you out of your house and give you a bit of peace!. Suicide is not the answer!. As bad as things seem now it is only temporary, suicide isn't!. In a few years you will be able to get out on your own!. Just hang in there!. Every time your brother touches you call the police!. Sooner or later something HAS to be done!. Social services, foster care, staying with friends!.!.!.anything is better than where you are right now!. Just keep you chin up, stay safe, and remember that this is make you a stronger adult!. You will do great things!. Www@Answer-Health@Com

try taking up a musical instrument!.
or see someone about foster parenting!. you are going through terrible, terrible **** i had once gone through and you DO NOT need it!
the music will take away the pain and help you concentrte on something good!.
just help yourself!. before all this is way too late!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com

OK LISTEN MAN!. LET ME HELP!.

A) DONT LISTEN TO CHRISSY AND GET A WEAPON!. YOU'LL END UP IN JAIL, AND BE TALKED ABOUT AS A VIOLENT KID!. THINK OF HOW SH1TTY YOU'LL FEEL THEN!.
B)SCHOOL COUNSELORS AND GOVERNMENT, HOT LINES, ETC ARE COMPLETELY USELESS!. THEY'RE ONLY THERE SO TAXPAYERS CAN BE SCAMMED INTO ALLOWING GOV TO TAKE THEIR MONEY!.
C) DRUGS AND ALCOHOL WON'T HELP

SO WHAT TO DO:
IF WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS TRUE, I WOULD RUN AWAY!. GET A JOB, LIVE A HOMELESS SHELTER TILL YOU'RE 18!. GET A BETTER JOB AND THEN EMAIL ME!. I WILL SEND YOU A "WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD" CARD!.
I HAD A JOB AT 9, MOVED OUT AT 18, MOVED OUT OF STATE AT 21!. ALOT OF PEOPLE MOVE OUT EARLY!. GRANTED, YOU'RE A BIT YOUNG, YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO FIND A CHILD ABUSE LAW/AGENCY SOMEWHERE THAT CAN RELOCATE YOU TO A FOSTER HOME!. I KNOW THAT SUCKS, BUT F**K IT, ITS BETTER THAN TAKING A BEATING EVERY DAY, AND AT LEAST THEY WILL FEED YOU!.

JUST KEEP A GOAL IN MIND BROTHER!. LIFE IS TOUGH, BUT YOU HAVE TO SEE THAT LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, YOU KNOW, SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO!. CUS IF YOU DON'T HAVE A GOAL, WHAT POINT IS LIVING!?!?

THINK OF A DREAM JOB, CAREER YOU MIGHT LIKE!. BUILD IT UP BUILD IT UP BUILD IT UP, AND AT 18 BAMMM!! GO GET IT!

LEAVE YOUR FOLKS BEHIND IN YOUR DUST!. Www@Answer-Health@Com

THATS SO AWFUL!!!!, your life at school sounds great, but everyone is so oblivious to what you go through at home, aww your question makes me so upset to think of what it must be like for you!.!.!.im the same age as you, and trust me you may think drugs are a good place to turn to but trust me they are DEFENITELY NOT a good place to go to to solve your problems, they only cause more, as for your brother, at home avoid him, when you get there take some food to your room and lock the sturdy door, then you got food at least, so you need'nt worry about going to the fridge and getting thrown through a door!.!.!.!.omg i cant get over how upsetting this is!.!.!.!.!.!.!.i feel so sorry for you!.
and PLEASE dont jump off anymore buildings, from what i've heard you sound like a cool guy who i would love to hang out with at school, we are alike, apart from home life, as for your parents there isnt much you can do except just leave it, i honestly, from the heart, hope that you get through this, nobody deserves to have such a life at home where they should feel safe and secure!.

i hope you overcome all this and become a great person when your older, while your family sits at home wishing they never did all that to you!.

Love from JessicaWww@Answer-Health@Com

You are miserable at home but all your friends think you have no problems!. It sounds like you're not talking about real stuff to your friends!. That's what friends are for, pal!. If they're real friends, they'll be supportive!.

You should also talk to a school counselor!. You think you're the only one going through this, but they are trained to deal with such problems!. There are millions of kids in your situation, and millions who have gotten through it!. But you've got to take a proactive approach and get help from someone with experience!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

ok so stop trying to kill yourself yes it sux *** but u can deal\

i suggest u call dhr!?
and if thats out of the question i would start working out and getting stronger so u can beat the **** out of your brother when he messes with u, i would def try to get a job or join other sports!!!!

ill prey for you i know u dont believe but i doWww@Answer-Health@Com

Well if you care about you friends & Don't want to make them feel the way your mom & dad feel about you then you would stop considering the suicide deal!. That's like you saying I give up & I don't care if I hurt you because I don't anymore and I don't have to deal with your pain!. I know you said the whole school physiologist is a whole different issue, but have you tried it!? Do you really know what could happen if you did talk to someone!? From what I hear it's simple, if you tell someone like a physiologist they are going to take you and ur siblings away from that house and send you to another home!.
I think you best bet is to talk to other relatives about it!. Maybe a Uncle or Aunt, woman are more sensitive about these situations!. Do you have a teacher at school that you can trust!? & Last but not least is prayer!. Try it, it works!.
Good Luck
Www@Answer-Health@Com

Don't run away and live at the mission!. Escape something like that said to run away and be homeless!. What the hell!.!. Don't do that!.!. Parents like that piss me off more then anything, if they cant take care of a child, then dont have the child and put them through hell!. i have a daughter and i can't imagine her going through that, it breaks my heart!. You'r happy at school, so i would start trying to go to friends houses after school!. What you might not thought about is a friends parent!. I was going through alot with my parents and being abused so i went to a friend's parent for help!. They flipped out and tried to help me, but it made things worse at home!. So keep in mind you need to tell the friends parent that you dont want your parents to know you said anything to them!. All you can get right now is advice for what to do with your parents, but! you can call the police everytime your brother touches you!. Your parent's have said horrible things to you, so i wouldnt care if they got mad or not if i called the police!. They will do something about it sooner or later!. but the truth about it is, your stuck!. I was stuck!. I keept myself in my room and only talked to friends!. Thats what i did from 13 to 17!. 17 i left home and never looked back!. Your a very smart kid i can tell, your going to make something out of your self, and your brother will be a druggie piece of ****!. Thats how it goes around!. When you leave that hell hole you'll get married, or get engaged, find a great job!. You will have a family one day and you need to remember this!. I know it sounds horrible but abuse sounds like it's a normal thing in your home!. Maybe this is gods way of breaking you from abusing your kids one day!. It did me!. Thats what i tell myself!. I know its not much advice now and it doesnt help now!. But you will one day have a family again thats perfect and your own!. A partner to go through life with you and a child to be there hero to!. You will get out of there some day!. Just keep your head up and know it will end!. I'll pray for you and it breaks my heart in half to hear a child being abused!. If you need anything please e-mail me!. I have a 15 year old sister whos going through the same thing as you are, as i did!. I'm not good at advice but im good at listening!. Take care!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Ok, wow!. I was so there a few years ago!.!.!.but never that bad!. You are in a really tough place, and if what you say is true you need to get outta there!. Do you have a job!? Can you get one!? Take up your time trying to earn money as much as you can, and do your best to save it up, every penny!. Odd jobs can bring in a bit of cash, as long as you keep up good work!. You need to get money to get your self outta there!.
I say tell someone like a teacher what you are going through, I always wish I would have!. It took a cop catching me shoplifting and self cutting to send me to a hosiptal for help!. Don't let it get that far!.
And the drugs thing!.!.!.they won't help a bit, trust me on that one!. I did just about every drug I could get my hands on, and none of them made anything better!. Quite often I would feel much worse, and just do more to try and mask what I was going through!. I wasted all my money, and even ended up pawning things for drugs!. I know it seems like it would bring you even a bit of joy, but it fades far too quickly, and then you feel even more empty!. There are good people in the world, willing to help!.!.!.don't sit in scilance suffering beacause you feel helpless!. You are stronger than you think, and you can break outta this!. Many people have, and I know you can and will if you stand up and get help!. Other people are here to help us, more than are here to hurt us!. Death won't end your pain!. Just remember you are strong, you are still alive and fighting despite all the abuse!.!.!.that means something!.

Keep your chin up, and don't let the sh*t of this world bring you down!.!.!.you are better than that!.

God Bless you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Yea i would talk to a guidance counselor at school because they have seen a lot and have been through a lot with many different students!.!.they might have dealt with a student before who was in the same situation as you are in right now!. they always have advice for students!.!.they don't turn you away and say that i can't help you!.!.!.also maybe talk to a family member unless you know that they will turn around and tell your mother or brother or father because then you will have problems probably and you don't want that!.!.show whoever you talk to evidence or something like a tape recorder or set up a video camera and tape your mom telling you that and maybe even your brother beating the **** out of you!.!.!.stage the incident and then show whoever you talk to the evidence!.!.!.you just need to get out of that environment period and suicide or thoughts of suicide is not the answer because you sound like a cool, laid back kid that i would have hung out with when i was your age!.!.i'm 20 years old!.!.and if your friends don't believe what your telling them because they think it's impossible then tell them to F off!!!! even if your a compulsive liar they should believe you!.!.!.i'm not saying your a compulsive liar what i'm saying is that even if you lie all the time about everything they should believe you in just about everything that you tell them because they should give you the benefit of the doubt because they are supposed to be your friends!.!.!.!.thats what i do with my friends anyways!.!.!.but seriously what you need to do is just talk to your guidance counselor, ask him not to repeat this until you show him/her the evidence, because you don't want to get your mother or your brother involved, i know family might be the best people to turn to right now but in your best interest of no one finding out about this, your guidance counselor is your best bet and if they can't help which they ALWAYS do their best then turn to family but go to your guidance counselor first!.!.please i would hate to hear or see something happened to a 14 year old boy because he told his aunt and his aunt turned around and told his mother or whoever and something bad happens to you and they all cover it up!.!.!.please!.!.!.and i wish you all the best of luck sorting out this situation and the best of luck in the futureWww@Answer-Health@Com

My mother told me when I was 6 that she wished I had never been born!. You can recover from those kinds of statements, but you never forget them!. She was also physically/mentally abusive!. Further, being a girl, I was molested multiple times growing up - cousins, friends of the family and such!. My life absolutely sucked until I turned 18 and could leave home!. Yet all my friends wished they could be me and they thought I had the coolest mom ever!. Outsiders never know what goes on behind closed doors!. Especially when someone makes sure the bruises and belt marks are where they won't show!.

I don't know what the legal age is for leaving home in Australia, but if you can hang on until then, you'll stand a much better chance of creating some kind of normalcy for yourself than if you take yourself out now!. Isn't it worth SOMETHING to wait for the chance to see if you can be happy once you escape!?

I OD'd, slashed my wrists, etc, and was lucky I never succeeded!. I would never have experienced some of the greatest things a person can experience if I'd succeeded - the love of a good man, the awe of childbirth, the satisfaction of an interesting and rewarding career!. The misery lasted 18 years!. I've had three times that to be happy! Try to look at your hell as "temporary" and tell yourself - every day if necessary - that you are stronger than they are and you will NOT let them destroy your spirit!

Since your home life is hell, try to spend as much time away from home as possible!. Do you have friends you can stay over with on the weekends, for example!? When you are home, keep to yourself as much as possible so you don't exacerbate your situation by making yourself a target for their abuse!.

Read books!. It's a great form of escapism and can be a life saver in a situation like yours!. Apply yourself diligently to your studies because a good education will take you farther than lack of one!. In fact, if you are smart enough, you might qualify for scholarships so you can carve out a career for yourself instead of a "job!."

I celebrated my 30th reunion recently and in talking to a lot of my old school pals discovered that one had a father who sneaked into her room every night, one had a father who beat her, one had parents who were alcoholics, another had a dad who gambled and lost their house - they lived in their CAR for several months! The point is, the people you think have better lives may not, just like they think your life is perfect!.

If you can hang in until you are old enough to get out on your own, it won't miraculously make everything better overnight!. It will take you a long time to make peace with your upbringing!. If you are lucky, though, one day you will realize you have been OUT of that mess for longer than you lived through it so f* 'em - they can't hurt you anymore!.

I am sooooo sorry for what you are going through!. Parents like yours shouldn't have children!. Children are remarkably resilient, though!. Even children like us who have been abused!.

Some children who are abused grow up with anger and resentment and become abusers themselves!. Others grown up and decide no way are they going to continue that viscious circle!. Be the latter!.

Create a mantra for yourself!. Maybe something like "I am stronger than these people!. I am smarter than these people!. I will go farther than these people!. I will be happier than these people!." Any time they are hurting you, repeat that to yourself and hang in there until you can get out and build a life for yourself!.

In the meantime, put as much distance between yourself and your family as you are able!. Www@Answer-Health@Com

I know I don't know you, but your question broke my heart!.
Please don't kill yourself!. Please!.
I thought I knew a girl once!.!.!. she was smart, gorgeous, funny, sweetest girl you would ever meet!. One day everyone came to school and she never showed up!. We found out later that she'd downed a bottle of prescription pills because her home life was so awful!. She had so much going for her and it sounds like you do too so I'm begging you, please don't do it!. You have your entire life WITHOUT your family to look forward to - don't let them ruin it for you!. How wonderful would it be to become successful and look back at them and say "I win!. I wouldn't let you break me"
Get a job, get a pass to the gym, go to the library, do everything and anything you can, just get out of your house!. The less time you spend there, the easier it will be!. Whatever you do, try to keep up your grades and your health!.!.!. it will make it so much easier to leave when the time comes!. I know the hospital seems like a refuge to you, but jumping off a building, breaking your back and having to live at home the rest of your life isn't going to get you to where you want to be!. Drugs and alcohol are great while the high lasts, but it won't change the reality!. Try to resist the temptation - it can only make you stronger!.
I'm not going to say that I know how you feel because I don't and I hope I never will, but I can at least offer advice and support and do my best to understand!.
Good luck and stay strongWww@Answer-Health@Com

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time!. If it's any reassurance to you, everything you're saying sounds completely normal, given the situation!.

A couple thoughts: the drinking and drugs aren't going to solve anything!. If you decide to do them, you'll discover soon enough that they don't take away your pain at all!. At first, they seem like the perfect solution, but eventually, you're right back where you started, only now you have a drinking or drug problem!.

Your brother probably acts the way he does because he feels the same pain you feel!. Physical violence is his solution to his problems -- he acts OUT while you act up inwardly, contemplating suicide or self-harm!. But you two are going through the same thing!. One of the best things you could do, in my opinion, is try and connect with him!. He understands what you're going through; he's been there!.

Your brother may be in denial and so angry he doesn't want to talk about it, but he also may be hungry for someone to be honest with, just as you are!.

If you really can't live in your current situation, then you might want to contact social services and tell them what's going on!. You might want to get in touch with a grandparent or aunt, anyone who can help you out!. Your girlfriend's parents might be a good resource!. If you have a priest you can talk to, they might be of help, too!.

Basically, you have two choices: try and fly under the radar and just put up with everything until you're old enough to be on your own, or talk to someone who knows you and cares about you -- an adult is likely to take you more seriously than your peers, and to help you come up with a solution!.

Try and remind yourself every day that you have the choice to walk through this properly, to develop strength, to be a brilliant person!. It would be easier, and more normal, to resort to hurting yourself, but you will be MUCH happier if you do what is right!.

Cheers---Www@Answer-Health@Com

Do these things in about this order!.

Don't kill yourself!.
Pick out a college, or job and appartment for after you graduate!.
Try to stay away from your family!. Carry a knife and/or gun so your brother will stay away from you!. Your mother not loving you is not going to create any long term mental damage so don't worry about that!. Try to talk to your father and see how he really feels about you!. Try to spend time with him!. If he actually doesn't want to, that's ok too!. Spend as much time as you can away from the house: sports, hobbies, at friends houses, working, etc!.
Once you've graduated school, do not talk to your bro or mother again!. Never look back!.

Whether you've described your situation well enough for me to understand you or not, I feel for you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

not worth dyin man who gives afuck if ur parents dont like u things will get better but suicide is never the answer i suggest sayin this to one of ur very close friends or maybe a grandmother or aunt and see if they will take u in cause u shouldnt have to deal with it thats the best thing i can come up with but ill post more if i can think of some mor ethings Www@Answer-Health@Com

you can talk to a school counselor, there alot of hot lines, and places to help!. you just need to look and ask for help!. i know its hard when you feel soo bad!. But i think you'd be surprised how many people will help, or point you in the right direction as long as you ask!. Good luckWww@Answer-Health@Com

Wow, I'm so sorry your going through this!. It breaks my heart to think your thinking about killing yourself!.!.!.your so young, you won't be stuck in that horrible house forever!.!.!.That your brother abuses you like that makes my stomach turn, I know its gotta be hard to get through the day without having these awful thoughts of self inflicted harm, but it sounds like you've been trying and you gotta keep trying!. Your parents emotionally and verbally abusing you is crazy! I can't believe they would say that to their son!!! You gotta stay strong, You can't let all these awful people in your life bring you down, you have to remind yourself everyday your too good for that!.!.!.that your above that!.!.!.that you are strong enough to make it through this period of your life!.!.!.and that suicide is not the right way out!.!.!.ever!.

I know your miserable, but you really should talk to a conceler about the abuse, there is no way in he** that should be happening!. I also heard you say you drink to forget about things!.!.!.I used to do that too when I was in a abusive relationship, both physically and verbally, once I realized that the alcohol wouldn't help solve the problem I took real steps to ultimately end the relationship!. I understand how it feels to be made you feel like nothing!.!.!.there is no worse feeling then having the person who is supposed to love you more then anything say your nothing!.!.!.but your not nothing!. Your parents and your brother are for making you feel that way!. Talking to a counceler really helped me, I would recamend you at least try it, if it don't work it don't work!. Focus on your friends and your studies and school, it sounds like your a good person!. Surround yourself with the people that mean the most to you life, try to spend as much time away from home as possible!.

Please don't think of suicide as a way out, it isn't, and theres no turning back from something like that!. Life is hard yes, but it can be beautiful!.!.!.just hang in there and give it a chance!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

You need to speak to someone - any adult will want to help you!.
Your girlfriends parents would be a good place to start!. Spend as much time with them maybe as you can or at other friends houses!. Play the xbox with them don't go out doing stupid stuff!. You're lucky not to have done some serious damage to yourself - would being in a wheelchair for the rest of your life be better!? - I don't think so!

Speak to a doctor - tell them why you are doing these things!. They should get social services involved!. Be honest and you will get help!.

Www@Answer-Health@Com

is there anyway that you can take up an after school activity to prolong your time away from home!? is there another youth counseling center in your area you can go to for support!? do you want to come to america to live with your other grandma!? is there a exchange student program you can get into to escape!? if your friends don't get you maybe you should get new friends, and a new girlfriend if she is too self absorbed to realize that you are in pain!. Maybe you should sit down with your best friend and tell them the truth!.!.!. if that person isn't willing to listen then maybe you need to reexamine your group of friends!.

don't kill yourself there's so much stuff left for you to do!. Do what i did, hold on as long as possible when you turn 18 milk your parents for what money they have to send you to college and then leave that life behind!. Frag 'em if they can't take a joke, don't take their calls don't hang out on christmas just book, but wait until after you're done school!.!.!.

Use those ignorant people around you to get what you away and get what you want!.!.!. they'll regret hey lost you but by then it will be too late!. But you must be patient, think of this way, everything that you are going through is making you THAT much stronger!.!.!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com

okayyy; so i defiantly know where your coming from!. in 15 and in high school, and right now life is hard!. you need to find friends that will help you and be there for you!. stop drinking! my dads whole family are alcoholics and im one too!. its not fun!. dont smoke, i may be a hippie but smoking is horrible!. i know youre upset, but just find someone who will be there for you!. if you need a friend im here!. :] but life is hard, but just believe that one day it will be better!. it seems totally stupid to hope for something that you dont believe will happen!. but the cards are layed out now!. you just have to pick the best one for you, dont kill yourself!. be careful!. :PWww@Answer-Health@Com





The consumer health information on answer-health.com is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007-2011 answer-health.com -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Categories