My fiance has severe depression, im not coping so well.. help?!


Question: My fiance has severe depression, im not coping so well!.!. help!?
My fiance has a long family history of mental illnesses!. He is currently suffering depression!. We have just moved to the other side of the country about six months ago, i dont think he is coping well with the change and he wants to go home however i cant becuase i have a wonderful job opportunity here that i would never get back home!.

He says that he has panic attacks just trying to leave the house!. and he cant work!.!. and hasnt since we got here!. he had one brief job but it fell through, but when he did have it he was the Happiest ever!.

he doesnt apply for work, its a simple task, is it not!? he thinks its just hard cause he is depressed!. I get scared that he is pulling the wool over my eyes becuase he is happy not working!.!. but he is on meds, which arent working so we are going back to the doctor, he is smoking marijuana, which we spoke about and he is quitting next week!. He loves world of warcraft, and sits infront of the computer for hours!.

I just feel like im the only one putting an effort into this relationship, becuase it seems that he doesnt even want to work!. I am the one going to work every day and supporting him!. I feel like i shouldnt be with him becuase he cant work!.!. am i niaeve!? is it the depression!? or is he a bad person!? i dont know anyone with depression except him!.!.

i love him with all my heart and he is the most amazing man i have ever met, loyal, SO loving, caring, he cooks me dinner every night, loves going out with me, buys me surprises and he would die for me!.!. but i struggle becuase he doesnt work!.!. (i have a strong work ethic)

Please tell me if its the depression, but he is a good person!? or is he just lazy!? im so confused!.!. i need the opinion of others who have been through this!.!.!. or know about depression!?!?

thanks :)Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
Hon, I do feel for you and the situation you are in because I know how hard it is to support someone with depression, as my mum, who means the world to me, has suffered with depression since before I was born (I'm 25!)!. There is also sadly a history of depression in my family!.

I cannot say how he's feeling as I've never had depression, but from what I can imagine from my own experiences, he's feeling waaaaay worse than you can ever imagine!.

I know you mean well, but applying for a job is not a simple task, might be for you and I, but not for someone who is going thorugh what he's going through!. About the drugs, he's looking for an escape of how he feels but he MUST quit them NOW, not next week or the week after, it's doing irreparable damage to his mental health!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Please trust me on this answer!. I've had 6 jobs in the last year because I couldn't cope!. I got fired from my last job and am on unemployment now!. Your partner has exactly what I have; he's bi-polar!. He needs medication!.

Just the thought of leaving the house gives me severe anxiety and after I've left, a panic attack, which is a horrible feeling of fear, is inevitable!. He can't stop it by himself! I can't even think about going on an interview right now!.

Get him to a doctor!Www@Answer-Health@Com

maybe you should go to the doctors so he can get depression tablets cause my mum was depressed and since she had the depression tablets shes been a bit better and has gone back to her normal life and if it works and he gets a job maybe when yahhs get a break from work if yous got the money maybe you should go see all your friends and family!.i hope what i said helps yahh!!Www@Answer-Health@Com

He does have many symptoms of depression!.!.!.plus marijuana use is not helping!.!.!.!.plus the warcraft computer stuff is not helping!.!.!.it puts him in a dream world that he feels is safe!.!.!.!.and therefore has no need to go out into the real world!.!.!.you're not helping unfortunately because you are (with loving intentions) helping him stay in this dream/isolated world!.!.!.!.He needs serious help, but I think you may have to send him back home!.!.!.!.give him a wakeup call that you can no longer support him in his disease, but will do everything in your power if HE tries to get better and follow treatment!.!.!.otherwise, send him back to his original home so he can work things out!.!.!.!.You will never get him to embrace treatment in the setting he's in now because its way comfortable for him!.!.!.!.its very sad and frustrating for you but you will go down with him if you continue!.!.!.!.And it is extremely difficult to be someone who works to live with someone who won't/can't!.!.!.you're not being unreasonable in this!.!.!.!.Hopefully the fact that you will send him back home will jar some common sense in him and he will start taking treatment seriously!.!.!.but you have to mean it!.!.!.Good luck!.!.!.saying a prayer for you both!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

First of all kudos to you for overlooking his illness and still loving him!!! I have suffered from depression and anxiety for years, it is a never ending ailment, you just have good days or bad days, good weeks or bad weeks!. I also found out recently that not only do I suffer from depression and anxiety I also am bipolar!. Having these illnesses MAKE you feel like doing NOTHING!!!! I have days when I don't even want to get out of bed let alone clean a house or go to a job, if he is still getting up and showering and dressing for the day he is doing good!! You are right the move has affected his ability to cope with his illness!. He is a good person and I am sure he loves you too, you just need to get him back to his "normal" self!. Also depression and mental illness are LIFE LONG illnesses and NEVER go away they may go into remission but the sufferer will ALWAYS have the illness!. If he has suffered from this a long time and has documentation he may be able to apply for disability from the social security administration!. I know how you feel about being the only one working, my husband goes through the same thing sometimes and we have been together 18 years!. Sometimes its hard to look at a person who has a mental illness and go gee they really are sick, because on the outside we look ok, its on the inside that everything is all messed up!!!! If you feel like you can't handle this type of relationship for a LIFETIME then you need to consider letting him go back "home" and not continuing into marriage!. If you have anymore questions or need some more help just e-mail me!.!.!.!. dawnhardesty@yahoo!.com Www@Answer-Health@Com

Depression would cause him to not want a job (I know from experience!) so I don't think he's just being lazy!. Try going to town WITH him and getting him used to the new place that way!. Maybe a job within the same feild as the lest one will motivate him, or one with limited responsibility and very flexible hours!. People are easily susceptible to stress when they are depressed!. Congrats at getting him off weed too, it doesn't help ANY mental illness!. Annnnd, the WoW addiction might not be the best thing for him right now either, lol!.Www@Answer-Health@Com





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