I have a personality disorder, but I don't know what it is.?!
Question: I have a personality disorder, but I don't know what it is!.!?
I want relationships, but I am too afraid of the social interaction that they force!. When someone wants to get close to me, I insult them!. When someone likes me, I find them repulsive and think that they have low standards or are entirely repulsive!. When I'm uncomfortable or am intimidated by people around me, and feel suspicious that they will say something to embarrass me or not laugh at something i say, i dont speak!. I have extreme anxiety when it comes to social events and i dont speak to the people i want to be in relationships with and i have no idea why, but it is impossible to talk to the men i want to talk to, even if i've talked to them before, out of fear!. I dont understand why i dont do it, but i really cannot begin relationships because i am either afraid of getting cllose or afraid of being rejected!. Help!? Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
I would say that you should not go labeling yourself as it could concrete your belief that you have a problem which you have no control over!. I believe that it may be difficult for you to change your behavior, but if your reactions are causing you severe anxiety, you may be motivated enough to take steps to change positively!.
Already, you have shown that you can interact socially with people just by the pure fact that you came on to YA to ask for help!. This is a positive thing! The very fact that you recognize your reactions is the first step to dealing with them!.
I can see here that the reason you have such trouble talking to people outside of yourself is that you have low self esteem!. You don't feel, at present, that you are worthy of having people that are close to you!. You want them, but you are so afraid of what they may think of you (that they will think of you what you believe yourself to be), that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy!.
I would suggest, and it may take some time, doing self affirmations daily and often!. Say them out loud, and say them in your thoughts, consciously!. It always sounds silly at first to say these positive affirmations (such as "I am a great communicator," "I am a fantastic friend," "I love talking to people," etc!.!.!. - never use negative words tho, i!.e!. "I do NOT want to have low self esteem" It's better to say "I have high self esteem" Especially if it's not true yet)
Self affirmations, when said and thought repeatedly, seep into your subconscious psyche!. At first you may not believe them, but over time, you will really start to believe them; you're confidence will boost itself, and you will start to like yourself more so that others can like you more too!.
Also, if you are open to it, try meditating!. It's easy to do and doesn't have to take up a lot of your time!. Basic meditation is breath meditation!. You breathe in slowly and just think "Breathing in, I know I am breathing" and you exhale slowly thinking "Breathing out, I know I am breathing!." Eventually, you can just think "(Inhale) In, (Exhale) out!." Meditating helps with anxiety!. Also, smile when you do it!.
There's another thing, smile more, even when you don't want to!. Force yourself to laugh too!. Both of these actions release endorphines in your brain which are chemicals in your brain that make you feel better!. It will feel silly, more than likely, but it does work, especially over time - the more you do it, the more you feel it!.
The important thing, when actually speaking to people, is to start slow!. Maybe you can try to consciously compliment someone!. Don't go starting a long conversation at first!. Everyday you can just ask someone what time it is, or where a certain place is (the bathroom, or a street, or a building)!. Over time, you will gain confidence to ask more questions, and really talk to people!.
The most important thing here, is that other people will only like you as much as you like yourself!. Successful relationships with anyone begin with both people having appreciation for themselves, not for each other!. Only when you begin to see yourself as a wonderful person will others see that too!. It can be difficult to change thinking patterns and beliefs like this, but it can be done with the methods I've described to you!. The thing to recognize here is that they must be done consistently and with determination even if it seems that they are not working!. It takes time to change!. You will see improvement!.
If you feel really out of sorts, I suggest going to see a therapist who can help you!. I strongly recommend that you refrain from any drugs!. Use that only as a last resort!. I believe that thought patterns can be changed consciously!.
I feel for you and wish you well!. I hope everything gets better for you from here!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Already, you have shown that you can interact socially with people just by the pure fact that you came on to YA to ask for help!. This is a positive thing! The very fact that you recognize your reactions is the first step to dealing with them!.
I can see here that the reason you have such trouble talking to people outside of yourself is that you have low self esteem!. You don't feel, at present, that you are worthy of having people that are close to you!. You want them, but you are so afraid of what they may think of you (that they will think of you what you believe yourself to be), that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy!.
I would suggest, and it may take some time, doing self affirmations daily and often!. Say them out loud, and say them in your thoughts, consciously!. It always sounds silly at first to say these positive affirmations (such as "I am a great communicator," "I am a fantastic friend," "I love talking to people," etc!.!.!. - never use negative words tho, i!.e!. "I do NOT want to have low self esteem" It's better to say "I have high self esteem" Especially if it's not true yet)
Self affirmations, when said and thought repeatedly, seep into your subconscious psyche!. At first you may not believe them, but over time, you will really start to believe them; you're confidence will boost itself, and you will start to like yourself more so that others can like you more too!.
Also, if you are open to it, try meditating!. It's easy to do and doesn't have to take up a lot of your time!. Basic meditation is breath meditation!. You breathe in slowly and just think "Breathing in, I know I am breathing" and you exhale slowly thinking "Breathing out, I know I am breathing!." Eventually, you can just think "(Inhale) In, (Exhale) out!." Meditating helps with anxiety!. Also, smile when you do it!.
There's another thing, smile more, even when you don't want to!. Force yourself to laugh too!. Both of these actions release endorphines in your brain which are chemicals in your brain that make you feel better!. It will feel silly, more than likely, but it does work, especially over time - the more you do it, the more you feel it!.
The important thing, when actually speaking to people, is to start slow!. Maybe you can try to consciously compliment someone!. Don't go starting a long conversation at first!. Everyday you can just ask someone what time it is, or where a certain place is (the bathroom, or a street, or a building)!. Over time, you will gain confidence to ask more questions, and really talk to people!.
The most important thing here, is that other people will only like you as much as you like yourself!. Successful relationships with anyone begin with both people having appreciation for themselves, not for each other!. Only when you begin to see yourself as a wonderful person will others see that too!. It can be difficult to change thinking patterns and beliefs like this, but it can be done with the methods I've described to you!. The thing to recognize here is that they must be done consistently and with determination even if it seems that they are not working!. It takes time to change!. You will see improvement!.
If you feel really out of sorts, I suggest going to see a therapist who can help you!. I strongly recommend that you refrain from any drugs!. Use that only as a last resort!. I believe that thought patterns can be changed consciously!.
I feel for you and wish you well!. I hope everything gets better for you from here!Www@Answer-Health@Com
It sounds to me more like you have commitment problems, about both commitment to yourself and commitment to other people!.
Find a good therapist to help you out with your issues!. And even though it might be a slow, painful process, you might be fine in the end!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Find a good therapist to help you out with your issues!. And even though it might be a slow, painful process, you might be fine in the end!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
start out slow whne out in public!. thats how i did itWww@Answer-Health@Com
try to find a therapistWww@Answer-Health@Com
Have you always been like this!? It sounds as if you've been hurt in the past!. Where did you learn that for someone to like you, you must have low standards!? Who was it that taught you that!?
If you can figure out where these thoughts came from, you may be able to isolate them when they pop up!. Isolating them is the first step to controlling them!. For example, when you hear yourself start to think, "That guy likes me, he must be really desperate," you can say to yourself, "Hey! You in there, cut that out! I am a great person and it's no surprise someone nice would like me!"Www@Answer-Health@Com
If you can figure out where these thoughts came from, you may be able to isolate them when they pop up!. Isolating them is the first step to controlling them!. For example, when you hear yourself start to think, "That guy likes me, he must be really desperate," you can say to yourself, "Hey! You in there, cut that out! I am a great person and it's no surprise someone nice would like me!"Www@Answer-Health@Com
I would say social anxiety!. I have had it and still do at times, especially in new situations!.
Social anxiety is the fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people!. Put another way, social anxiety is the fear and anxiety of being judged and evaluated by other people!. If a person usually becomes anxious in social situations, but seems fine when they are alone, then "social anxiety" may be the problem!.
You should check out the website I listed as a source and if you do think that is what you are experiencing, talk to someone about it and get some help, because you do not have to live with it being so severe!.
You will have to work at getting better, but it is so worth it, just to be able to feel like you don't want to hide or fall through the floor rather than talk to someone!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
Social anxiety is the fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people!. Put another way, social anxiety is the fear and anxiety of being judged and evaluated by other people!. If a person usually becomes anxious in social situations, but seems fine when they are alone, then "social anxiety" may be the problem!.
You should check out the website I listed as a source and if you do think that is what you are experiencing, talk to someone about it and get some help, because you do not have to live with it being so severe!.
You will have to work at getting better, but it is so worth it, just to be able to feel like you don't want to hide or fall through the floor rather than talk to someone!. Www@Answer-Health@Com