Sex and interpersonal relationship problems.?!
Question: Sex and interpersonal relationship problems!.!?
Yeah, I think I might be a sex addict, or at the very least, I know I have a very self-destructive outlook on sex!.
I need help!. I am 20 years old, and ever since I can remember I have always had a really screwed up idea of how important sex is supposed to be!. When ever I start to fall for a guy, despite the fact that I know better, I throw myself at them in a sexual way!.
I stopped asking why guys used me a long time ago, because I know that I set myself up for it, but I just don't know why!. I don't understand when I know that I am a good person, and I deserve a good, healthy relationship, but I for some reason can't get past the whole sex issue!.
I know that I have a lot to offer to someone, and that I shouldn't give myself to people who don't deserve it, but for some reason, I can't help it!. Sometimes I'm not looking for anything more than sex, and at the time it feels great, but eventually, even sometimes far down the road, I look back and realize it wasn't a good decision!.
The part that really bothers me however, isn't that I have had some promiscuous, meaningless sex, it's the fact that when I want MORE than that, I have no idea how to get it!.
I don't know why, but as soon as I actually like a guy, the part of my brain that says "You're great how you are and he should see that" shuts off and the part that says "If you really want him to like you, the best way is to make it totally obvious that you want to nail him" takes over!.
I know that I have problems to deal with, and that I need to be happy on my own, and trust me, that isn't the issue!. I'm not dying for a relationship or anything like that, I just can't get over the fact that when something great DOES come along, I end up screwing it up because my brain doesn't know how to love without sex!.
I'm not asking anyone to tell me what's wrong with me, I'm sure its all personal stuff that is deep rooted, and in fact I probably know what it is too!. I'm just looking for someone to help me find help!.
I used to be in therapy, but at that time I was a lot younger, and sex wasn't the most pressing thing!. Now, I don't have insurance, and can't afford therapy again, and I just don't know what to do!.
Please, don't call me names, or harass me!. This is a really serious problem, and I'm just hoping someone will be kind enough to want to help!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I need help!. I am 20 years old, and ever since I can remember I have always had a really screwed up idea of how important sex is supposed to be!. When ever I start to fall for a guy, despite the fact that I know better, I throw myself at them in a sexual way!.
I stopped asking why guys used me a long time ago, because I know that I set myself up for it, but I just don't know why!. I don't understand when I know that I am a good person, and I deserve a good, healthy relationship, but I for some reason can't get past the whole sex issue!.
I know that I have a lot to offer to someone, and that I shouldn't give myself to people who don't deserve it, but for some reason, I can't help it!. Sometimes I'm not looking for anything more than sex, and at the time it feels great, but eventually, even sometimes far down the road, I look back and realize it wasn't a good decision!.
The part that really bothers me however, isn't that I have had some promiscuous, meaningless sex, it's the fact that when I want MORE than that, I have no idea how to get it!.
I don't know why, but as soon as I actually like a guy, the part of my brain that says "You're great how you are and he should see that" shuts off and the part that says "If you really want him to like you, the best way is to make it totally obvious that you want to nail him" takes over!.
I know that I have problems to deal with, and that I need to be happy on my own, and trust me, that isn't the issue!. I'm not dying for a relationship or anything like that, I just can't get over the fact that when something great DOES come along, I end up screwing it up because my brain doesn't know how to love without sex!.
I'm not asking anyone to tell me what's wrong with me, I'm sure its all personal stuff that is deep rooted, and in fact I probably know what it is too!. I'm just looking for someone to help me find help!.
I used to be in therapy, but at that time I was a lot younger, and sex wasn't the most pressing thing!. Now, I don't have insurance, and can't afford therapy again, and I just don't know what to do!.
Please, don't call me names, or harass me!. This is a really serious problem, and I'm just hoping someone will be kind enough to want to help!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
You sound like you know a lot about yourself - good for you!. You deserve credit for knowing that you are responsible for your own life and not blaming others!. For about fifteen dollars you can buy Louise Hay's book You Can Heal Your Life!. She will help you get to the essence of what is going on and how to accept that you deserve to treat yourself with loving kindness!. If you feel ready to work on this issue, and it sounds like you are, this book can help you to stop sabotaging yourself, love and accept the wonderful person you are, and attract life-enhancing relationships!. It is hard work, but I know you can do it! You may want to read Louise's own story first, even though it is actually in the last chapter!. When you see what her life was before and what it is now, you will probably get that "if she can do it, so can I" inspiration!. You are a beautiful person and deserve to have the life and relationships you want!. Best Wishes to You!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I recommend this website called http://www!.LetsReflect!.com
Heres my profile!.!.!.!.changed my life!.
http://www!.letsreflect!.com/profile!.php!?u!.!.!.
The trick is being optimistic and surrounding yourself with positive people!. You are capable of great things! I believe in you!. best of luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Heres my profile!.!.!.!.changed my life!.
http://www!.letsreflect!.com/profile!.php!?u!.!.!.
The trick is being optimistic and surrounding yourself with positive people!. You are capable of great things! I believe in you!. best of luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
My church has this thing for sex-addicts, like an AA!.
You should find a local one somewhere!.
or maybe talk to a psychiatrist!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
You should find a local one somewhere!.
or maybe talk to a psychiatrist!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
You put out on first date!? whats your number!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
I'm 20 and I know exactly how you feel!. For me sex is EXTREMELY important in a relationship!.!.!.to the point that if the sex isn't GREAT, the relationship will never last because I won't want to be a part of it!. I most definitely can't love without sex!.!.!.it's simply a preference!.
In all honesty, it doesn't matter when you put out, whether on the first or the 10th date!.!.!.if they guy truly likes you to begin with, it all works out!. BUT, if you're going for the guys who only want a one night stand or on-the-side sex, that's all you're gonna get!. It depends on who the guy is, what he's looking for and what you're looking for at that moment!.
I've had sex hanging out with a guy the first time we hung out and he wanted to be with me and then I've had sex with a guy after 6 months of dating and he wanted to be with me!.
The thing you need to learn to accept is that you like sex and you'll probably always be looking for someone new to do it with, or at least thinking about it!. When you find the right guy though, the one who's amazing at it AND wants to be with you, you'll stop having those urges to be with other people!. Even if you guys go through a lot of hardships with it, if you're both committed with mutual feelings in the relationship, things will be great!.
But don't rush it and don't think anything's wrong with you, things work out if you just relax :)Www@Answer-Health@Com
In all honesty, it doesn't matter when you put out, whether on the first or the 10th date!.!.!.if they guy truly likes you to begin with, it all works out!. BUT, if you're going for the guys who only want a one night stand or on-the-side sex, that's all you're gonna get!. It depends on who the guy is, what he's looking for and what you're looking for at that moment!.
I've had sex hanging out with a guy the first time we hung out and he wanted to be with me and then I've had sex with a guy after 6 months of dating and he wanted to be with me!.
The thing you need to learn to accept is that you like sex and you'll probably always be looking for someone new to do it with, or at least thinking about it!. When you find the right guy though, the one who's amazing at it AND wants to be with you, you'll stop having those urges to be with other people!. Even if you guys go through a lot of hardships with it, if you're both committed with mutual feelings in the relationship, things will be great!.
But don't rush it and don't think anything's wrong with you, things work out if you just relax :)Www@Answer-Health@Com