Excessive lying at 11?!
Question: Excessive lying at 11!?
my 11 y/o daughter has the worse lying problem I've ever came across!.
Earlier today I saw her chewing something and asked her what she had, and she said nothing, I wouldn't let it go, & she finally said she took a piece of candy!.
they always say, if you tell the truth you wont get in trouble, but even if she did tell the truth, she would get in trouble for eating candy(that she didn't ask for) right before dinner!.!.!. am I doing something wrong!? and at dinner I got up to use the bathroom and came back and half her food was gone, I ask if she threw it away and she said no I ate it, so I got up to check the garbage and there it was!.
and so I told her if she lied one more time I would take away something she's been wanted for a long time, joining the cheer team!. and 2 hours later, she lies!. so I told her I wasn't enrolling her in cheer!. I feel bad because she's been looking forward to cheer, but I just don't know what else to do!. I don't hit or spank, so it's not like if she tells the truth I'd abuse her or something!. but when she lies, she gets in trouble for both!
does anyone else have this problem, I've never met a kid like this!. and she's 11, she knows better!
am I doing something wrong!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Earlier today I saw her chewing something and asked her what she had, and she said nothing, I wouldn't let it go, & she finally said she took a piece of candy!.
they always say, if you tell the truth you wont get in trouble, but even if she did tell the truth, she would get in trouble for eating candy(that she didn't ask for) right before dinner!.!.!. am I doing something wrong!? and at dinner I got up to use the bathroom and came back and half her food was gone, I ask if she threw it away and she said no I ate it, so I got up to check the garbage and there it was!.
and so I told her if she lied one more time I would take away something she's been wanted for a long time, joining the cheer team!. and 2 hours later, she lies!. so I told her I wasn't enrolling her in cheer!. I feel bad because she's been looking forward to cheer, but I just don't know what else to do!. I don't hit or spank, so it's not like if she tells the truth I'd abuse her or something!. but when she lies, she gets in trouble for both!
does anyone else have this problem, I've never met a kid like this!. and she's 11, she knows better!
am I doing something wrong!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Getting rid of food!.!.!. No kid is guilty free of feeding the dog things you do not like!. Same idea!. Sneaking a piece of candy before supper!. Again!.!.!. Pretty tame kid stuff!. Why even ask her what she is chewing on!? Why give her the chance to BS you!? You are mom and you know the answers before you ask!. We all do!. I am going to guess she is your oldest!?
Next time hold your hand out in front of her mouth and tell her spit it out if it really bothers you!. No questions and not a chance to lie!. Food thing!. Ask her not to put so much on her plate if she does not plan on eating it all!. That is how we moms get that know all see all aura about us ;)
And ask her why she lies!.!.!. Sorry if I am going to be obvious but because she is a preteen!. She will take the chance that you will buy it and you won't gripe at her!. She is getting to the know more than you phase soon (you may think she is there but trust me it gets better)!. Right now you need to be resting up and preparing for the teen years and learning to carefully pick your battles!. These little spats are not picking them well!. Just tweak your tactics a little!.
Personally I would apologize for over reacting on the cheer thing!. Unless she lied about sneaking the car out big!. Let her know grownups are not perfect either and maybe you can try together as a team to both improve!? Teaming up with my daughter helps us!. Changes perspectives!. Good luck!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Next time hold your hand out in front of her mouth and tell her spit it out if it really bothers you!. No questions and not a chance to lie!. Food thing!. Ask her not to put so much on her plate if she does not plan on eating it all!. That is how we moms get that know all see all aura about us ;)
And ask her why she lies!.!.!. Sorry if I am going to be obvious but because she is a preteen!. She will take the chance that you will buy it and you won't gripe at her!. She is getting to the know more than you phase soon (you may think she is there but trust me it gets better)!. Right now you need to be resting up and preparing for the teen years and learning to carefully pick your battles!. These little spats are not picking them well!. Just tweak your tactics a little!.
Personally I would apologize for over reacting on the cheer thing!. Unless she lied about sneaking the car out big!. Let her know grownups are not perfect either and maybe you can try together as a team to both improve!? Teaming up with my daughter helps us!. Changes perspectives!. Good luck!Www@Answer-Health@Com
She probably, at some point, in the past made an unconscious association with telling the truth and pain!. Keeping her from joining the cheer team is a good move!. But, also add in positive reinforcement by rewarding her for telling the truth!. Stay consistent and she will learn!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Talk to your doctor about this and see if he can recommend a specialist to assist you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I guess lying to her is a way of escaping her mistakes!.
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no offence lady but that's just how we are
and hello ever heard of grounding
shell either get over it or she wontWww@Answer-Health@Com
and hello ever heard of grounding
shell either get over it or she wontWww@Answer-Health@Com
its just a stage i went through and my sons gone throught it to dont worry!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Lying is usually learnt by copying other people does anyone lie in the family often!? And probably gets away with it!?
I tell my sons off when they lie and they're 10 and 8 !.The 8 yr old was starting to but he knew I'd spank if I caught either of them lying!.
It is a bad habit and something that needs to be done early if possible!.
When they get into trouble we do though explain to them the how and why!.
For example with the candy issue I would tell them it's great you told the truth but next time please ask if you could have it first and give them a less penalty so just tell them off and no spanking!.
And it would also help asking them why they did what they did rather than just about the lying!. The more you get them to express themselves the easier we can understand the way they are thinking too!.
The more they lie the more harder for us trust them as well and this can also affect the family bonding!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com
I tell my sons off when they lie and they're 10 and 8 !.The 8 yr old was starting to but he knew I'd spank if I caught either of them lying!.
It is a bad habit and something that needs to be done early if possible!.
When they get into trouble we do though explain to them the how and why!.
For example with the candy issue I would tell them it's great you told the truth but next time please ask if you could have it first and give them a less penalty so just tell them off and no spanking!.
And it would also help asking them why they did what they did rather than just about the lying!. The more you get them to express themselves the easier we can understand the way they are thinking too!.
The more they lie the more harder for us trust them as well and this can also affect the family bonding!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com