Can someone help me figure myself out?!
Question: Can someone help me figure myself out!?
I'm a 20 year old male college student and I think I suffer from depression!. I had a homosexual interaction when I was about 5 where I was taken advantage of and I feel like it shaped the way I am!. I have no self esteem, I feel very self consious, am afraid of change, and I think I like feeling this way!. For example, I don't wear new styles of clothes because I am so afraid of what others might think of them on me!. I don't go to others to help solve my problems I just bury them deep inside!.
The funny thing is, if you met me you would never guess I am this way!. I can hide the my feelings and thoughts very well!. I love when the night rolls around because that's when all of my saddness really hits me hard!. It's been getting worse too!. This summer there were two nights where I was so distraught I thought briefly of suicide!. That is very unlike me!. I feel very hopeless!. I'm too self consious to persue the girl I like because I'm afraid of her judging my body!. I never let anyone close to me, physically or emotionally, but I love to help others with their problems!. I just turned 20 and instead of feeling happy, I felt like I had done nothing in my life, like it means nothing!. Its not like I don't have friends, I have plenty and I know I am a very nice guy, but I feel like that doesn't matter!. That I'm still worthless!. I can honestly say I hate myself and wish I was someone else!. I went to a councelor once but stopped after two sittings because I couldn't stand the "aww" "boo hoo" way she was treating me!. It made me feel very uncomfortable!.
I guess that's all I can think of!. Can anyone help me figure out what to do next!?
Www@Answer-Health@Com
The funny thing is, if you met me you would never guess I am this way!. I can hide the my feelings and thoughts very well!. I love when the night rolls around because that's when all of my saddness really hits me hard!. It's been getting worse too!. This summer there were two nights where I was so distraught I thought briefly of suicide!. That is very unlike me!. I feel very hopeless!. I'm too self consious to persue the girl I like because I'm afraid of her judging my body!. I never let anyone close to me, physically or emotionally, but I love to help others with their problems!. I just turned 20 and instead of feeling happy, I felt like I had done nothing in my life, like it means nothing!. Its not like I don't have friends, I have plenty and I know I am a very nice guy, but I feel like that doesn't matter!. That I'm still worthless!. I can honestly say I hate myself and wish I was someone else!. I went to a councelor once but stopped after two sittings because I couldn't stand the "aww" "boo hoo" way she was treating me!. It made me feel very uncomfortable!.
I guess that's all I can think of!. Can anyone help me figure out what to do next!?
Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
You have lived through such a traumatic, tragic, despicable occurrence!. I am wondering if you are on medication for this depression!. If you are not, get on some and do it a!.s!.a!.p!. I believe you suffer from depression and maybe even Post Tramatic Stress Disorder!. I suffer from bipolar among other things!. I have been to so many doctors, psychiatrists, counselors and been on tons of different meds!. The thing is you can't quit searching for the right one! If you don't like the counselor, go to another and another and another until you find the perfect one!. The same with medications!. You have to work with the doctor on what works for you and what doesn't!. If one doesn't work, try another!. Keep trying until you find something that works for you!. Sometimes you have to take more than one medication to make it work!. You deserve to be happy with yourself!. You have to make it your mission in life and make sure you share your wisdom to help others!. Life is a journey!. We are all given obstacles - some little and some life altering tragic bullsh*t!. You have to refuse to let the past define you!. Refuse to let depression define you!. It is only what you hold in your heart of hearts that define you!. There is a saying that I like!. The past is dead!. The future is only imaginary and all we have is the present!. That is a gift!. I want you to try real hard to take things one day at a time!. If thats too much to handle then do it one minute at a time!. I have a very important suggestion for you!. I want you to take me seriously!. It helped me out tremendously!. I want for you to write in a journal!. It is not just a girlie thing!. Write all your feelings down!. If you hear or read something you find inspirational, write it down!. Let it all out on paper!. You cannot stuff your feelings!. Get it out! Yahoo health offers online support groups!. Check it out!. I hope I have helped in some way!. If you need anything, get in touch!. I am here for you!. BlessingsWww@Answer-Health@Com
Your life is progressing as you yourself have directed it!. So if you are unhappy with that direction, take a new one, one which makes you feel happiness inside!. Nobody is worthless, and liking the feeling of sadness isn;t strange because your mind doesn;t care what you care about--just that you care!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
the person who did this to you will be rotting in hell!.
and that counsellor you saw shouldnt be counselling its disguting!.
try a new councellor!. I hope you get bettreWww@Answer-Health@Com
and that counsellor you saw shouldnt be counselling its disguting!.
try a new councellor!. I hope you get bettreWww@Answer-Health@Com
I were in your shoes before!. Only 2 things may help:
Join Fitness Club!. do hard gym every day about 2 hours!. It will help to bring man's brain to normal function!. You'll start to calm down, trust yourself, changes attitude!. Be conversational!. listen, look while you're there!. (Not a woman)!.
2!. try to get hired in hard working environment!. like construction, etc!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
Join Fitness Club!. do hard gym every day about 2 hours!. It will help to bring man's brain to normal function!. You'll start to calm down, trust yourself, changes attitude!. Be conversational!. listen, look while you're there!. (Not a woman)!.
2!. try to get hired in hard working environment!. like construction, etc!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
I would definetly find a new counseler!. There is hope and help out there!. You shouldn't have to carry this weight around!. It' something that your going to have to break free of! That is completely unfair that you had to go through that!. But you don't have to carry it!.
I really do hope that you get help! There is hope! Www@Answer-Health@Com
I really do hope that you get help! There is hope! Www@Answer-Health@Com
You did mention that you like to help others!. If you are in a position to do so, perhaps you might try volunteer work!. I don't have any ideas specifically, because I don't know your interests, but find a nonprofit or public service that you can believe in and put your passion into helping others!. Twenty years old is very young!. You should not feel worthless!. Live moment to moment and let your good deeds plot your path rather than trying to figure out who you are!. I think you'll quickly find that your actions will have more meaning for you rather than your thoughts about who you should or should not be!. Www@Answer-Health@Com