How can I get up the nerve to get help / seek a support group when I'm so as!
Question: How can I get up the nerve to get help / seek a support group when I'm so ashamed!?
I've posted a few questions the last few days about my situation!. I know this is redundant but I need more answers, I need a way out!.
Here is a quick rundown:
I served some time in prison and while I was there I met Jimmy!. He watched my back in prison - I probably wouldn't have made it without him!. I was 18 when I went in - got out when I was 22 and Jimmy offered me a place to stay and I took him up on it!. I'm 24 now and the last two years have been hell!.
I'd say we are in a relationship because we have a physical relationship, but only when he is drunk because otherwise he says he isn't gay!. He is really rough - he hits me and when he gets mad he isn't above really beating down on me!. I want to leave, but he says I owe him and I guess I do!. He tells me I don't deserve better and maybe I don't!. My family broke contact with me when I was arrested and I don't know where else I'd go!. I tried to leave once and Jimmy found me and broke my nose and brought me back home - that was 8 months ago and I'm terrified to try again!.
I'm embarrassed that I go to work with bruises on my face and I'm embarrassed that after what happened to me in prison (which is still hard to admit) and what happens with Jimmy that I flinch when a guy gets too near to me and have a panic attack if they touch me - even when guys at work give me a 'friendly' pat on the shoulder or anything like that!.
I'm trying to find help to get help - I thought about the answers I got last night all day today and I can't bring myself to call a domestic abuse hotline!. Where can I talk to someone that is anonymous to figure this out - I can only post on here because I know that nobody knows who I am - and even this is difficult!.
Somebody described Jimmy as using me as a punching bag and a sex toy - which is true enough but make me want to throw up when its put like that - I don't even think I'm gay - my preference the last 6 years just really hasn't mattered because its different when I was in prison - and where Jimmy is concerned!. I can't call the line - they won't want to help an ex felon and they won't care if it is a guy is the victim and if Jimmy finds out I can't even imagine how bad that will be!.
Are there support groups for guys that have been forced by guys, or forced in prison - I don't think I could face a woman and talk about it!.!.!. but I'm not sure I can face other men and admit I couldn't protect myself!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Here is a quick rundown:
I served some time in prison and while I was there I met Jimmy!. He watched my back in prison - I probably wouldn't have made it without him!. I was 18 when I went in - got out when I was 22 and Jimmy offered me a place to stay and I took him up on it!. I'm 24 now and the last two years have been hell!.
I'd say we are in a relationship because we have a physical relationship, but only when he is drunk because otherwise he says he isn't gay!. He is really rough - he hits me and when he gets mad he isn't above really beating down on me!. I want to leave, but he says I owe him and I guess I do!. He tells me I don't deserve better and maybe I don't!. My family broke contact with me when I was arrested and I don't know where else I'd go!. I tried to leave once and Jimmy found me and broke my nose and brought me back home - that was 8 months ago and I'm terrified to try again!.
I'm embarrassed that I go to work with bruises on my face and I'm embarrassed that after what happened to me in prison (which is still hard to admit) and what happens with Jimmy that I flinch when a guy gets too near to me and have a panic attack if they touch me - even when guys at work give me a 'friendly' pat on the shoulder or anything like that!.
I'm trying to find help to get help - I thought about the answers I got last night all day today and I can't bring myself to call a domestic abuse hotline!. Where can I talk to someone that is anonymous to figure this out - I can only post on here because I know that nobody knows who I am - and even this is difficult!.
Somebody described Jimmy as using me as a punching bag and a sex toy - which is true enough but make me want to throw up when its put like that - I don't even think I'm gay - my preference the last 6 years just really hasn't mattered because its different when I was in prison - and where Jimmy is concerned!. I can't call the line - they won't want to help an ex felon and they won't care if it is a guy is the victim and if Jimmy finds out I can't even imagine how bad that will be!.
Are there support groups for guys that have been forced by guys, or forced in prison - I don't think I could face a woman and talk about it!.!.!. but I'm not sure I can face other men and admit I couldn't protect myself!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
But you DO deserve better!. You are WORTH IT!
It's not about being gay or not gay, or being a man or a woman - it's about abuse, plain and simple!. You can get up the nerve by simply knowing that others have been there before you!. If you walk into a support group, or call the hotline, you are not alone!.
One of the things that helped me get sober was knowing that when I walked into my first meeting, everyone else knew why I was there, and I knew why they were there!. We all had that in common, and I wasn't alone!. I had a lot of guilt and shame over my past (esp!. the sexual stuff) and my sponsor told me that if there is a word for it, someone else has done it!. Guilt and shame were only hindering my growth and are pretty pointless emotions!.
The counselors at the hotline aren't there to judge you!. They want to help, and want you to heal!. PLEASE make the call and get the help you need to get out!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
It's not about being gay or not gay, or being a man or a woman - it's about abuse, plain and simple!. You can get up the nerve by simply knowing that others have been there before you!. If you walk into a support group, or call the hotline, you are not alone!.
One of the things that helped me get sober was knowing that when I walked into my first meeting, everyone else knew why I was there, and I knew why they were there!. We all had that in common, and I wasn't alone!. I had a lot of guilt and shame over my past (esp!. the sexual stuff) and my sponsor told me that if there is a word for it, someone else has done it!. Guilt and shame were only hindering my growth and are pretty pointless emotions!.
The counselors at the hotline aren't there to judge you!. They want to help, and want you to heal!. PLEASE make the call and get the help you need to get out!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
wow!!! i can imagine what you must be going through!. You definitely need your spirits lifted and trust me the only thing right now that's gonna help you get up on your feet is a church!. The Power of the holy spirit will give you all the strength and courage you need trust me!. Seek and you shall find!. Also what would help is talking to someone that will listen and a friend's shoulder to cry on when you need it, but also someone that will tell you to snap out of it and reassure you things a get better!. everyone has a story to tell, somes just worser than others!. This guy obviously is the one with the issues and problems hell, he pobably even has a mental illness you don't wanna know about!. You need to get out of there!. That environment will keep you down!. Start with the church, feel out one of the members and talk to them one on one!. If you dont feel the vibe @ one church then move on to the next until you feel comfortable!. In the meantime pray and try to talk to him when hes sober and let him know how he makes you feel and how he acts when he's drunk!. Good luck! if you need someone to talk to email me anytime!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Well let me start by saying I am a woman and have worked with a lot of men out of prison and mental health/substance abuse!. So if you don't want my answer disregard!.
What happened to you is not uncommon and you know that!. It sounds like you MORE than paid this guy back already!.
I don't know what state you live in but help is available to persons that have made legal mistakes in the past!.
Since you don't have to face me and I have worked with parolees(please read profile) I think I can help you with some suggestions!. I'm not sure how much you want posted here!. Please e-mail or IM me!. Also if you or Jimmy is still on parole his officer is another answer!.
God Bless ReggieWww@Answer-Health@Com
What happened to you is not uncommon and you know that!. It sounds like you MORE than paid this guy back already!.
I don't know what state you live in but help is available to persons that have made legal mistakes in the past!.
Since you don't have to face me and I have worked with parolees(please read profile) I think I can help you with some suggestions!. I'm not sure how much you want posted here!. Please e-mail or IM me!. Also if you or Jimmy is still on parole his officer is another answer!.
God Bless ReggieWww@Answer-Health@Com
First of all im really sorry about what happened to you!. You need to accept that yah you made a mistake and what happened in jail needs to stay in jail and you need to try to push it away which is ofcourse easier said then done!. But what happens in the past needs to stay in the past and it is time to accept what has happened and move on from it, you have a lot more time in life that you can spend enjoying instead of sitting around thinking about what has happened to you!. Obviously Jimmy has definately been using you, he is taking all of his anger out on you and using you too much for your own good!. You need to realize that you are also a human and deserve to be treated with respect!. So what if you made a mistake in the past, it does not make you a bad person!. You actually sound like a very good person, but you are just stuck in the past and cant let it go, which is understandable because it really is a very hard process!.
As for getting help, im sure there is someone you can definately talk to!. Talking is something that is really hard to do I know!. It brings it all back to life, and the story may replay in your head and it does kill!. But I promise you it only takes one time to open up and let everything just come out and then youll sit and think about everything you just said, and its like the world has been lifted off of your shoulders!. I promise you that it feels great and it is definately worth doing!. You can also get professional help on how to let go of what has happened, and maybe escape from the hell that you are dealing with at home!. I reccomend finding a community health center!. You can go and talk to a psychologist for very cheap!. You can try looking them up in the telephone book!.
I am also sure that theyre are support groups, dont forget that you are really not alone!. They are so many guys that are in or have been in the same position that you are in, you really are NEVER alone, even though it feels like there is no one in the world that is dealing with all the pain you are dealing, there are so many people in the same position!.
I wish you the best of luck and hope some of that helps!.
I hope you get the best of help and live the rest of your life healthy and happy!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
As for getting help, im sure there is someone you can definately talk to!. Talking is something that is really hard to do I know!. It brings it all back to life, and the story may replay in your head and it does kill!. But I promise you it only takes one time to open up and let everything just come out and then youll sit and think about everything you just said, and its like the world has been lifted off of your shoulders!. I promise you that it feels great and it is definately worth doing!. You can also get professional help on how to let go of what has happened, and maybe escape from the hell that you are dealing with at home!. I reccomend finding a community health center!. You can go and talk to a psychologist for very cheap!. You can try looking them up in the telephone book!.
I am also sure that theyre are support groups, dont forget that you are really not alone!. They are so many guys that are in or have been in the same position that you are in, you really are NEVER alone, even though it feels like there is no one in the world that is dealing with all the pain you are dealing, there are so many people in the same position!.
I wish you the best of luck and hope some of that helps!.
I hope you get the best of help and live the rest of your life healthy and happy!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I would call any help line that is in service!. And you are wrong about they won't help you!. You must have called the wrong help line!. What about you leave your situation and move to another city and then call another hot line or service to help you!. Don't you dare give up, when you can move or hide!. You are worth something!! There are many people that have been raped by another person, you are not alone!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
What about an online rape, abuse and incest hotline!? RAINN is a great organization and they don't care if you are a guy abused by a guy, a woman who was raped, an adult who was the victim of incest years ago or whatever!.!.!.they will help you! RAINN's website is at:
http://www!.rainn!.org/
RAINN's online hotline can be accessed at: http://apps!.rainn!.org/ohl-bridge/
Hope this helps!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com
http://www!.rainn!.org/
RAINN's online hotline can be accessed at: http://apps!.rainn!.org/ohl-bridge/
Hope this helps!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com
asking for help is always the hardest part!. believe me if you knew the truth about other people around you, peole you see everyday you wouldn't feel so alone!. abuses is abuse no matter who is involved!. It has to do with power/control!.one over another!. you do need to break his power by seeking help!. when you do I promise you ,there will be other people like you!. I've worked and been involved in the court system most of my life!. most eveyone i know is a felon!.It comes to mean very little when your in a helping proffesion, you won't shock anyone!. Hell one of my friends who ran the!. jails for our tri-state area had to resign due to alcoholism and drunk driving, a high profile guy, I believe he's going to die because he's letting his pride keep him from seeking help!. don't allow that to happen to you!. you need help, you can't do it alone, no one can!.he's made you feel less than, you can have and deserve a good and happy life!. good luckWww@Answer-Health@Com
I was raised by drunken parents & they were abusive!. the way I got even is by NOT following their bad examples!. I made something of my life by handing it all over 2 God who got me out of it!. as an abuse survivor I can say that abuse is an endless vicious cycle that NEVER just "goes away" on its own w/o the abuser's desire 2 change!. plz remember that many victims who don't leave risk B'n killed by their abusers; my sister was, & I'm her ONLY voice!.
Best Wishes and God Bless youWww@Answer-Health@Com
Best Wishes and God Bless youWww@Answer-Health@Com
What about a church!. you may not be religious but i know alot of people at certian churchs would be willing to help!. and i think that they jimmy would let you go to church!.!.!.perhaps!.Www@Answer-Health@Com