Anyone out there dealing with caring for a relative?!
Question: Anyone out there dealing with caring for a relative!?
My mother in law needs care 24/7!. Out of the entire family there are the three sons, one daughter in law, and two grand daughters that have stepped up to care for her!. It is putting a strain on our lives!. I don't have a life to speak of any more!. We all work full time jobs in addition to helping out my mother in law!. And when we are there she wants something done like cleaning out the garage or the attic or basement, all this after we have just done an eight or ten or twelve hour shift at our jobs!. We are worn out!. The family will not pay for help to come in!. Some days I just wish I would die rather then have to go to her house and sit there on her hard wooden chairs for hours and hours!. I just don't know what to do any more!. I am so tired and she stays up till past midnight then gets up very early in the morning!. No one is getting any rest!. Any ideas will be appreciated!. Thank youWww@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
I can relate to you fully but mine goes one step farther!. My mother in law (mil) had two severe strokes seven years ago and has lived with us since then!. Out of 7 kids she has, my wife was the "Princess" of the family so we automatically were voted the best to "inherit" her and we did even though I objected immensely!. She even moved with us to Florida and ever since our my and my daughters lifes have been nightmares!. My daughters have even moved out to avoid her!. I have learned its a dead ed cause to get rid of her as all it does it upset the family status quo so many times everyday I pray that she just moves on in life but she keeps hanging in here!. Shes 82 and has lost alot of her bodily functions and cant speak right anymore but she wont even speak to me which is the best thing so far!. She does go visit her other kids in Ohio a couple of times a year but I keep praying for something more permanent!. So youre heading in the same direction and will learn that blood is really thicker than love and theres absolutely nothing we can do except pray and hope, because no matter how loud we object or protest we just dont count anymore when it comes to mommy dearest!. But if you come up with a great idea for ridding the world of mils, youd be rich on here!. Til then good luckWww@Answer-Health@Com
I know that must be SO rough!. My grandma was requiring constant care last year after a stroke, and it really took a toll on my mom and aunt!. She's doing better now but my cousin goes there once a week and cleans her house for her, and my mom said she gets paid $13!./hr through the state somehow!. I don't know how it works, but it's through the state!. Maybe the family could pay for someone once a week to ease some of the burden!. It sounds like a very hard situation, I feel for you!. Good luck :)Www@Answer-Health@Com
Roster the times that you all get to spend with her so that the responsibility is not on one person alone!. Make sure that you are taking care of yourselves and that the person who is rostered on with her is able to take a break!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
First you do not have to clean out the garage or any thing like that!. Second, before you do anything else!. You need to ask yourself some serious questions!. I am in the same situation although my mother is in a nursing home where I work at!. Ya I could make more money in another place ( i am a cna) Where is my family in my life!. I am Native American!. and Family always is first!.
You are also depressed about the situation!. That has to be dealt with !. Are you in the USA!. There is help if you need it!.
It sounds like she needs some sleep meds and some psych meds!. If she is demanding these things (clean the garage) I promise she is more miserable than you are!. Clinging to the last thing she has control of!.
Here is my advice Take control of the situation!. get some home health!. Get some medical experts involved!. If you continue the situation as it is you are doing more harm for her and for yourself
e mail me if ya need to
Www@Answer-Health@Com
You are also depressed about the situation!. That has to be dealt with !. Are you in the USA!. There is help if you need it!.
It sounds like she needs some sleep meds and some psych meds!. If she is demanding these things (clean the garage) I promise she is more miserable than you are!. Clinging to the last thing she has control of!.
Here is my advice Take control of the situation!. get some home health!. Get some medical experts involved!. If you continue the situation as it is you are doing more harm for her and for yourself
e mail me if ya need to
Www@Answer-Health@Com