How do I cut off contact with a manipulator?!


Question: How do I cut off contact with a manipulator!?
There is this gal that manipulates me bad!. I tried a complete cutoff in contact but somehow she found a way to contact me and open up the friendship!.

I'm just the dude she really doesn't hang out with!. We went to the same event and she never even tried to meet-up with me!. all she does is ask favors and doesn't follow up or back it up by being a friend!.

Ever since I became her friend I have gone nuts!. I thought it was a constant condition I'm in because I have done this before and that i need to correct this!. But I think I only act this way around manipulative people!. A battle between my denial/desperate need for attention from women vs!. My will to be me and remain decent and self confident!. One part wants to be confident the other to get attention from people, specifically women, which makes me willing to sacrifice my confidence!.Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
A true manipulator is someone that seeks you out in spite of the fact that they might know you don't want to hang out with them!. Telling her anything then, won't amount to much of anything!. You can't be sensible or rational with a true manipulator, they'll keep doing it anyway!.
You sound like a nice, polite and easy-going guy!. These are all the traits she is relying on and manipulating!. Maybe she knows you won't go against your better nature!. Don't let this one person turn you into someone you don't want to be!. This is not about your confidence anymore!. It may have been at first and she found her way to get at you!. Now it's just about how to turn this person off!.
You must not judge or criticize yourself!. The self-doubt will confuse you and she will once again have a chance to get at you when you are confused, down-and-out or unaware!. You must calm down and just be yourself!. If you let it weaken you, then in a weaker moment you will lose your resolve!. If you want to bring this to an end, then you must make the decision and stick with it!.
You must find a way to turn off and not give her the time of day!. Note that I did not encourage you to be mean to her!. It grows tiresome and it can make you feel guilty!. You will not endure to the end!. You must stop the co-dependent pattern where you give to her and she has grown to expect it!. If you stop and start up again she will pounce on the weakness!.
You can say no and make it clear you are not interested, but if she doesn't respect that you must stay calm and continue to refrain from engaging her in anything!. Don't talk to her!. Don't ask things of her!. You now know you can't expect cooperation!. If you pretend like she isn't there and she continues you know you have to stay calm and be patient!.You want to be able to calmly walk away!. Being neutral is your only choice!. Don't give her the satisfaction of knowing she can rattle you!.
I notice it sounds like you have become emotional about this!. You must stop doing that!. You need to find someone to talk to, get it out in the open and calm down!. It's not a secret!. You should not struggle with shame, but you may be overcompensating because she isn't reflecting a proper attitude for a true friend!.
Don't play both roles in the friendship!. Just be yourself!. Own your own feelings and stick with that!. It seems true that you cannot instruct her!. Don't strive with it in yourself!. You will not do it for her!. Find a more vicarious or imaginative way to vent and get it out of your system and when you are around manipulative people be direct and be yourself, even if it means walking away!.
You must take a stand and get on with it!. There are lots of people like this and they are in every town and every city!. You must find your resolve and get on with it!. There is no other way!.
I hope this helps you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

I think your getting your "need for attention from women", and your "self confidence" confused!. Women like a guy who is self confident!. I think if you be you, and are confident in who you are, the women WILL show you attention!. If you continue to let her/them walk all over you, not only are they seeing you as a "sucker", but you see yourself as one as well!. Don't let her/them use you, be you! All the attention, and pieces of tail in the world, aren't worth a low self image!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Ask her if you can borrow some money!. Give her a long whiny story to back up your "heartfelt request!." If she does actually produce a substantial sum, then reconsider your earlier opinion of her and give her back the cash plus take her out to dinner!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

I had a friend like that!. She had a great personality and was the type that ran the show, but she always had favors for me to do and if there were others around, she didn't bother with me!. I finally got sick of it, but she wasn't easy to get away from!. Flattery and emails and phone calls!. It took a couple of years of saying, "no" before she gave up!. You need to realize that people like that aren't really your friend and don't respect you!. It's not a healthy relationship for you or them!. They shouldn't be allowed to treat people that way!. You're helping them be manipulative by rewarding them by your compliance to their will!. You'll gain respect for yourself by letting go of them!. Www@Answer-Health@Com





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