How can I be the real me and not some walking zombie?!
Question: How can I be the real me and not some walking zombie!?
Ok, I have a problem of kind of acting unlike myself and acting more like the person I'm around and I don't even feel like I know who I am sometimes!. I've always, always had a hard time making friends and an even harder time keeping them so I guess my reason for molding myself to other peoples preferences is something I do to keep friends!. I know who I want to be, but when I'm around a certain person I tend to act differently than I want to and then when I leave feel pissed because I felt like a totally different person!. I'm not "fake" by any means, but feel like I can't express myself or be the person I strive to be due to my problem!.!.!.I feel like I've done this my whole life!. I just want to have a consistent personality and not some up and down, not knowing who I really am!.!.!.!.How can I start to be who I want to be and not change who I am to cope with people!. This really happens if I'm in an uncomfortable situation where I feel like I'm being judged!. I feel like a robot a zombie that just programs myself to be compatible with whomever I'm around and it leaves me depressed and feeling like a bad person!.!.!.!.ugh!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
You are not alone when it comes to trying to please other people; there are a lot of people who try to be "people pleasers" and mold themselves to be what others want in order to maintain peace, to fit in, to make and keep friends, and for many other reasons!. I did it for a very long time, partly because it was the role I took on in my family, and partly because I thought friends wouldn't like the "real me!."
Eventually I realized that I had to be true to myself and realized that real friends would like me for who I was and that other people who only liked me if I fit into their definition of who I should be probably were not really my friends!.
However, all of those realizations took time in therapy and working through why I felt the need to please people in the first place and accepting that I was good enough as I was!. I suggest that you look for a counselor at your school (if you are in college -- I'm assuming given the pic of the baby!.) or locally and find someone to talk to about these things!. A therapist can help you sort out why you want to please others -- especially when you feel judged -- and help you find yourself!. If you need help locating a local clinic email me and I can provide you with the SAMHSA locator that lists clinics in every state by city!.
Hope this helps!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Eventually I realized that I had to be true to myself and realized that real friends would like me for who I was and that other people who only liked me if I fit into their definition of who I should be probably were not really my friends!.
However, all of those realizations took time in therapy and working through why I felt the need to please people in the first place and accepting that I was good enough as I was!. I suggest that you look for a counselor at your school (if you are in college -- I'm assuming given the pic of the baby!.) or locally and find someone to talk to about these things!. A therapist can help you sort out why you want to please others -- especially when you feel judged -- and help you find yourself!. If you need help locating a local clinic email me and I can provide you with the SAMHSA locator that lists clinics in every state by city!.
Hope this helps!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I can understand why you feel the way you do!. I think you might want to talk to a counselor who can help you figure out why you feel this way!.
If you are in school, talk to your school's counselor!. If not, look in the phone book for a counselor near your home!.
There is an answer for you, but I don't know if you will find it on 'Answers'!.!.!.
God Bless!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
If you are in school, talk to your school's counselor!. If not, look in the phone book for a counselor near your home!.
There is an answer for you, but I don't know if you will find it on 'Answers'!.!.!.
God Bless!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I used to do that as well!. The only way to really break from the habit is to become the dominant speaker in a social setting!. Of course in that case it causes people to try and act like you so while helping yourself it maybe hurting others as it is you right now!. Www@Answer-Health@Com