How to deal with the death of a parent ?!


Question: How to deal with the death of a parent !?

She was my best friend and I notice every time around now I start grieving her all over again I'll hear a song or see something that reminds me of her and it brings back all the pain of lossing her, I know it's because it's close to being the date she passed away her birthday and the holidays!. What can I do to make the pain of losing her stop!?Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
Just know that you are not alone with the hurt that comes with ones loss of a parent!. My Dad died in August 2003 and that's over 5 years ago!. Still I yearn intensely just to talk with him!. Tears well in my eyes as I know that I can't!.

Yet deep inside I recall all the talks we had, the parental guidance he gave me, and that is what I draw upon!. He taught me well!.

My Dad was my hero!. He was my friend!. He took care of me and protected me!. He warned me about the cruelty and predators in this world who would take advantage of me!.

One thing I recall specifically is that he once told me I'd never find a closer friend, or a genuine friend, other than Him & my Mother!. He was so very right!.

You will never forget or stop grieving with this loss!. I've lost a Sister, a Brother, & my Dad!. The grief will heal to a degree and that's different for each of us!.

When my Mom dies I will cry till there are no more tears left!. Remember that she is always a part of you!. She carried you for 9months!.

Mothers are very special!. Your pain is very understandable and we'll all have to endure that loss at some point!. Just remember her unconditional love for you and her friendship!. Try to live that in your present life so that she'd be proud of you!. Make her past prescience on this earth known to others by being what she'd want you to be!.

Some great sources to help you understand and heal as best you can!. Take care of yourself no matter what!. Your Mother would want that!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

well I'm really sorry about your loss, the only thing i can recommend is that you always try to think of the good times you had with her, and just know that you will always have some one looking over your shoulder now!. every time you hear a song or see something that's her way of saying hi, and you should embrace it!.
i know a lot of people who had gotten a tattoo to remember a parent helps a lot, get a portrait or something that reminds you of your mom, that way she will always be with you you until the endWww@Answer-Health@Com

Well, it's very easy to say that time will cure this, but it's only after we've been able to survive until the point comes when we are cured, but what till then!?

Yes, the first thing to realize is that the person has just left the body, the person is not actually dead!. Realize that soul is in the form of energy and energy cannot be destroyed ever!.

Secondly, realize that they had some dreams that now you can fulfill for yourself!. Do what they wanted you to do, be what they wanted you to be and make the soul feel proud!. Death is irreversible, but it's certain that you need to now take up the responsibility of being of someone!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

I think you have to tell yourself that she is gone and even though its hard you have to learn to let go!. SHe will always be a part of your life and no matter what you wont forget her but you have to know that she would not have like seeing you all depressed over her!. she wants you to be happy and to live your life!. No matter what you do she will always be around and no matter what you do she will understand you have to go on!. Grieve is felt in the heart not within the outside!. I honestly think you are afraid to let go!. But letting go will not make you forget her, You will always have her in your heart and she will always be your guardian angel!. Good Luck and Sorry for her passing!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

blunty say that crap sucks you no its not fair that ur parents died and it alright to feel angry an dif you need anyon eto talk to im here if you wanna cry on my shoulder ill cry with you if u want to start a fight i got cho back cuz its hard to loose a parent you no its nothing you can do to help but just be their even if its in silenceWww@Answer-Health@Com

The pain doesn't really go away; you just get more used to it as time goes by!. You'll continue to have those memories, and eventually they will bring you joy rather than grief!.

If you are having real difficulty, I recommend some kind of grief counseling!. Www@Answer-Health@Com

It is true, that time helps!. And I've found (after almost 10 years), that I think of the happy times a lot more than the grief of losing my Dad!. I still miss him!. !. !. but am able to talk and reminisce and not feel sad!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

you'll get used to it!.!.!.!.eventuallyWww@Answer-Health@Com

I Am Near 6 Yrs For Mother's Passing; After 4 Yrs, I sold The Old House & Moved South!.!.!.!!

It's A WHOLE NEW WORLD!.!.!.!.!!Www@Answer-Health@Com

You can't really do anything to make the pain stop!. Time will heal itWww@Answer-Health@Com

I'd go with Chris's answer and lil mi!. Death, even when it is coming, is one of the hardest things to deal with in this life!.
I didn't grieve when my mom died,and I asked the priest, ( my mom wasn't Catholic, but he was a friend of my mom's and he had served as the " grief counsellor" for the family!. But he told me that because my mom was abusive, my grief would be different from my family's!. I found out that, while talking about my mom,that we all were abused by her!. I grieved, just in a different way!. I remember the good stuff,like how she ahd taught me to crochet,by buying me a set of books I could learn from!.
By teaching me to be thrifty!.
Teaching me to cook, by letting me browse thru her many cookbooks!. ( the greatest compliment I got was when I baked peanut butter cookies,and she had quit drinking!. She ate the entire 5 dozen, yeah, the WHOLE BATCH! in a sitting,with half a gallon of milk!. Then,belched and told me that I can bake better than she can!. To this day, I will not eat peanut butter cookies,because every time I do, i smile and remember that one great memory!. )
teaching me about men in general,and about trust!. (even tho the woman was bi, she knew a little bit about love!. My father was gay,
( think Ennis Del Mar, and Brokeback Mountain) and for over 32 years, they loved each other despite their sexuality!. My dad never really got over my mom,and vice versa!.)
She taught me NOT to smoke,( Emphysema)
Not to do drugs, ( she was an addict)
Not to drink!.
I learned alot from her!. and i think of her often, more often now good rather than bad,and that has taken me over 20 years!.

Grief takes on different forms,and the steps we go thru aren't always in the order that the one guy said!.
Acceptance can come first and anger,last!.
Grief is different with different people!.
I never went thru the anger part for my mom!.
I am at the acceptance part!. The bargaining, never, because my mom was dying of heart failure and had told me that she just wanted to live long enough to see me grown!.
i accepted her death better than my older brothers/ sisters did, because I was the baby,and I had to see her health diminish!.
I saw her pain, saw how she had wanted to die!. She was tired of living!.
I knew it,and on my 18th b-day, I told her, when she was sick,if she wanted to go, then it was ok, I was an adult now,I would not go into foster care,because "they" couldnt take me!.
It sounds cruel,and my family,20+ years,still hasnt forgiven me,but I dont care!. I knew she was suffereing and both she and I knew she wanted to go onto whatever awaited her beyond this life!. I made peace with my mom,finally,after all this time, because of the abuse,that she never apologized for!.
What I am saying is,grief is different for diff!. people!.
Don't put a timeframe on yours!.
I still miss my mom's crochet passion,and it is her passion,i feel ,every time I pick up a hook,or see crochet work,or something crocheted!. I have been crocheting for over 30 years,and I thank her for giving me that passion,and for teaching me,her own way!. ( mom was left-handed,and didn't actually teach me,but gave me the tools I could learn on my own,with)
It may take years before u can think of her without crying!.
It may take only months!.
My dad!? I can't think of peaches, which I LOVE, without thinking of Daddy!. Every year, from the time I was 12, I recieved a homemade peach cobbler, on my birthday!.
You know what!? I still love peach cobbler!. I make it alot and smile,and think of Daddy!.
Same with Louis lamour!. My daddy LOVED that man's work!. Hondo,was the first I read,and my daddy's first,too!.
Daddy was also a master chef,who learned alongside James Beard,and Julia Child,before she was known as Julia Child!.
he was taught on the Res,with his 12 sisters,and went to culinary school in Paris,Chicago,and New York!. He was my hero!.
Soooo, grief is Www@Answer-Health@Com

I am very sorry for your loss!. Possibly something in the following may help!. Go to http://www!.mind!.org!.uk/ and type "grief" in the taskbar, and enter!. Call: The Grief Recovery Institute (U!.S!.A!.) 1-800-445-4808, or Hospice (phone book)!. Email jo@samaritans!.org Chatrooms and forums: www!.chatmag!.com/topics/health/grief!.html and http://talkingminds!.15!.forumer!.com/ and http://messageboards!.ivillage!.com/ Other websites: www!.griefnet!.org/ and http://www!.helpguide!.org/ (coping, supporting others, loss of relationship, or pet) and www!.mental-health-abc!.com/ and www!.boblivingstone!.com/!?q=node30 and www!.crusebereavementcare!.org!.uk/ Understand that there are often several stages of grief!.

The stages are:

Denial: The initial stage: "It can't be happening!."
Anger: "Why ME!? It's not fair!?!" (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as "responsible")
Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my son graduate!."
Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything!?"
Acceptance: "It's going to be OK!."
K



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