I know this is wrong but if it stops i am worried i will never get better?!
Question: I know this is wrong but if it stops i am worried i will never get better!?
I have been seeing a mental health nurse for nearly a year, during this time i went off the rails and was assessed for bipolar which i didn't have!. I was constantly pushing my nurse away then saying i wanted help then getting scared and pushing her away again etc then a month ago i knew however much i thought i could do this on my own i actually can't so i gave up and went back to see her!. She was only suppose to see me every two weeks and put me forward for other things but there is a waiting list for therapy so she now sees me every week and has started to do basic therapy with me even though that is not her job!. The problem is i am feeling so attached to her and she knows my problem is craving love from a mother type figure(due to bad childhood) and i don't know what i can do now!. I just want to feel loved and someone to show me that i do matter and she is doing that by helping me that extra bit!. If i stay with her then when i do have to stop seeing her i will just go back to the way i was but i don't want to push her away again!. What can i do!? I want to get better but i also just want to be loved!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Check it out!. What you're experiencing is an extremely common phenomenon known as transference!. Essentially, you are putting your attachment and desire for love onto a woman whom you idealize as a mother figure!. It's very normal and usually happens during therapy, although not necessarily in such a positive direction!.
For example, when I was in therapy, I had an old, white man as my therapist!. He would give me suggestions about how to do something (which is NOT what therapists are supposed to do, by the way) and I began to resent him!. It felt like he was ignoring my real problems and trying to cover them up with superficial things that had nothing to do with what I was there for in the first place!. What I was doing was transferring my anger about how my father would push me around and demean me by giving me "direction" which only made me feel inadequate and stupid back onto my therapist!. So, this happens often in therapy!. Don't feel bad!. Since I was a psychology major at the time I recognized what I was doing so I didn't give it that much weight as far as what was going on (I wasn't there because of my "daddy issues," anyway; I was there because of something entirely different)!.
What you can do is recognize that you have found someone you feel safe with and you find it incredibly easy to assign to her the things you feel you need from a mother figure!. This came especially easy because she is providing you with attention that you need in spite of the fact that you kept pushing her away!. She took you back which is, naturally, what one would expect a mother to do!. What's great for you about this is that you're able to recognize where a lot of your emotional problems are coming from!. The problem is you becoming attached to her in a way that makes you feel dependent on her to fulfill the things you are deficient in right now!. Again, it's a completely normal thing to find in a therapy setting!.
The best way for you to cope with this is to recognize that even though you're going to be moving on (hopefully) in a few weeks to see a trained therapist you have to acknowledge that this occurred in the first place!. Write it down, put out all your thoughts and feelings about and share this with your therapist when you can!. Transference in therapy tends to help us organize our priorities about where are injuries are and how they came about!.
To go back to my example, had my therapist been receptive about me transferring my issues with my dad (and, old white guys in general) onto him, we probably would have explored why I felt such resentment about a father figure telling me what to do and why I tend to ignore male authority figures in my life altogether!. This probably would have helped me avoid a lot of the pain I had regarding romantic relationships with men and how I tended to get myself in trouble most of the time!. I can only speculate, though, because, like I said, I wasn't there for that!.
My advice to you is to use this breakthrough as a stepping stone with your future therapist!. Also, be honest and open with your psych nurse about how you've been feeling and she can give you some direction and structure from there!. Above all, do not feel dependent on her to give you what you feel is missing from your life because that is not what she's there for!. She's there to help you get to this point!. However, don't feel like you have to exclude her from your life once you start seeing your therapist!. If she has been a great source of help to you, then see if you can get a formal arrangement where you can continue to get structured help from her, even if it's by an e-mail once a week!. Make sure that you maintain boundaries with her, though, because if you feel even the slightest rejection from her, it can sour all the progress you've been making (which, honestly, getting to this point is progress -- even if you don't feel like it is)!.
For future encouragement, remember that as long as you keep trying at this and keep being committed to getting better, you will be able to make healthy relationships with people that you can love and will love you in return!. Just keep going at it because it will pay off in the end and you will get better!. You've already made such strides in recognizing what is going on in the relationship between you and your psych nurse!. Just make sure you address it with her so you can get some structure on how to deal with it and get all that you can out it!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
For example, when I was in therapy, I had an old, white man as my therapist!. He would give me suggestions about how to do something (which is NOT what therapists are supposed to do, by the way) and I began to resent him!. It felt like he was ignoring my real problems and trying to cover them up with superficial things that had nothing to do with what I was there for in the first place!. What I was doing was transferring my anger about how my father would push me around and demean me by giving me "direction" which only made me feel inadequate and stupid back onto my therapist!. So, this happens often in therapy!. Don't feel bad!. Since I was a psychology major at the time I recognized what I was doing so I didn't give it that much weight as far as what was going on (I wasn't there because of my "daddy issues," anyway; I was there because of something entirely different)!.
What you can do is recognize that you have found someone you feel safe with and you find it incredibly easy to assign to her the things you feel you need from a mother figure!. This came especially easy because she is providing you with attention that you need in spite of the fact that you kept pushing her away!. She took you back which is, naturally, what one would expect a mother to do!. What's great for you about this is that you're able to recognize where a lot of your emotional problems are coming from!. The problem is you becoming attached to her in a way that makes you feel dependent on her to fulfill the things you are deficient in right now!. Again, it's a completely normal thing to find in a therapy setting!.
The best way for you to cope with this is to recognize that even though you're going to be moving on (hopefully) in a few weeks to see a trained therapist you have to acknowledge that this occurred in the first place!. Write it down, put out all your thoughts and feelings about and share this with your therapist when you can!. Transference in therapy tends to help us organize our priorities about where are injuries are and how they came about!.
To go back to my example, had my therapist been receptive about me transferring my issues with my dad (and, old white guys in general) onto him, we probably would have explored why I felt such resentment about a father figure telling me what to do and why I tend to ignore male authority figures in my life altogether!. This probably would have helped me avoid a lot of the pain I had regarding romantic relationships with men and how I tended to get myself in trouble most of the time!. I can only speculate, though, because, like I said, I wasn't there for that!.
My advice to you is to use this breakthrough as a stepping stone with your future therapist!. Also, be honest and open with your psych nurse about how you've been feeling and she can give you some direction and structure from there!. Above all, do not feel dependent on her to give you what you feel is missing from your life because that is not what she's there for!. She's there to help you get to this point!. However, don't feel like you have to exclude her from your life once you start seeing your therapist!. If she has been a great source of help to you, then see if you can get a formal arrangement where you can continue to get structured help from her, even if it's by an e-mail once a week!. Make sure that you maintain boundaries with her, though, because if you feel even the slightest rejection from her, it can sour all the progress you've been making (which, honestly, getting to this point is progress -- even if you don't feel like it is)!.
For future encouragement, remember that as long as you keep trying at this and keep being committed to getting better, you will be able to make healthy relationships with people that you can love and will love you in return!. Just keep going at it because it will pay off in the end and you will get better!. You've already made such strides in recognizing what is going on in the relationship between you and your psych nurse!. Just make sure you address it with her so you can get some structure on how to deal with it and get all that you can out it!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
Hey, it sounds like you need serious advice!. I have a friend who is a counselor and he's running a website where you can post questions and it's free, so don't worry!.!.!.
If you're interested, maybe he can help you:
www!.vivalaredo!.net/kelo
Hope this helps!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
If you're interested, maybe he can help you:
www!.vivalaredo!.net/kelo
Hope this helps!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
You are playing around with another persons mental health!.
You have placed a burden on this nurse, why!?
Be honest with yourself!.
Get help from a real doctor!.
And tell the truth about your past!.
You sound bi-polor!.
And a bit controlling!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You have placed a burden on this nurse, why!?
Be honest with yourself!.
Get help from a real doctor!.
And tell the truth about your past!.
You sound bi-polor!.
And a bit controlling!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You need to start slowly detaching yourself from this person!. You can't do this cold turkey!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
You need to see a properly trained therapist who can help you heal!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
This nurse has made you more aware of your needs!.
You know that you want to feel loved and that you matter to someone!.
We all want to feel loved and that we matter!. We are human!.
If you can be a kind and loving person to others, some people will be attracted to you!. If you indeed have to terminate with this mental health nurse, start talking to her about your strong attachment to her!. She can start to help you work through your feelings so you will be able to terminate with her and grow from the experience!. I hope you will find a therapist you feel comfortable working with!. Good Luck!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com
You know that you want to feel loved and that you matter to someone!.
We all want to feel loved and that we matter!. We are human!.
If you can be a kind and loving person to others, some people will be attracted to you!. If you indeed have to terminate with this mental health nurse, start talking to her about your strong attachment to her!. She can start to help you work through your feelings so you will be able to terminate with her and grow from the experience!. I hope you will find a therapist you feel comfortable working with!. Good Luck!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com
Well, I think you need to tell her this!. Otherwise you could be making things worse!. You are developing (again!?) a very unhealthy relationship!. You are in a formal relationship but are starting to see it as something else!. The main goals of any therapy is to help you become more independent!. Instead you are becoming dependent which is a sign that the therapy I believe is in danger of never working or making it worse!.
So please, tell her your feelings asap!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
So please, tell her your feelings asap!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
I feel you should continue to see the individual that you are seeking help from!. Its obvious that she is assisting you with your needs!. Forget about the attachment, that is normal because somewhere somehow she is helping you and you are getting what it is that you seek from this individual!. Just appreciate her help and what she does for you!. Dont think about going back to behaving the way you did or once did!. You have to sometimes use what you have and make it work for you!. This individual is a blessing in your life and was put there for a reason!. I know how it feels I went through the same thing growing up, cause all of the individuals that were put in my life helped me be the woman I am today, whether or not they stayed or left!. You will get better and you will be loved!!!Www@Answer-Health@Com