I feel really awful now...?!
Question: I feel really awful now!.!.!.!?
I seem to fall out with everyone!.!.!.
I just cant get on with people and i think my moods are really turbulent!.
I moan so much and can be really touchy about things people say!.
occasionally i just go into hate mode where i physically cant react positively to anything, and normally upset or offend whoever im with at the time!.
every week i have one to one riding lessons on my own horse, and the instructor, who i have known for ages comes to my house!. i have gone into hate mode quite a few times in riding lessons, messing up the whole session and leaving both me and my instructor depressed and unfulfilled!. i cant help it, if she says something to upset me, i just talk back and get disrespectful and stubborn!. i try to lift myself out of it, but it really shows on my face, and before i can, my instructor says something like, "oh, i can see you wont do anything now!. i wont stand here and have you waste my time!. im not desperate for money"!.
then im really sorry because i know my mum will yell at me for wasting time and upsetting my instructor!. my instructor told her i was just beating myself up over something and mums being nice and i feel even worse!.
i do it to other people too and i just feel like im in the way and upsetting people!. i truly wish id never been born, because then nobody would miss me or think about me and i wouldnt cause anymore pain to anybody!.
i want to just go to sleep and forget it but i cant because i feel so bad and ive ruined everyones day!.
i know im so lucky to have eerything i have, and i dont deserve it, buti just keep getting everything wrong!.
is there something wrong with me!? i cant control my moods and nearly everyone has given up on me!. my own parents have called me things that i think are probably true, but cruel!.
please help me and tell me what to do!.!.!.!.
xxWww@Answer-Health@Com
I just cant get on with people and i think my moods are really turbulent!.
I moan so much and can be really touchy about things people say!.
occasionally i just go into hate mode where i physically cant react positively to anything, and normally upset or offend whoever im with at the time!.
every week i have one to one riding lessons on my own horse, and the instructor, who i have known for ages comes to my house!. i have gone into hate mode quite a few times in riding lessons, messing up the whole session and leaving both me and my instructor depressed and unfulfilled!. i cant help it, if she says something to upset me, i just talk back and get disrespectful and stubborn!. i try to lift myself out of it, but it really shows on my face, and before i can, my instructor says something like, "oh, i can see you wont do anything now!. i wont stand here and have you waste my time!. im not desperate for money"!.
then im really sorry because i know my mum will yell at me for wasting time and upsetting my instructor!. my instructor told her i was just beating myself up over something and mums being nice and i feel even worse!.
i do it to other people too and i just feel like im in the way and upsetting people!. i truly wish id never been born, because then nobody would miss me or think about me and i wouldnt cause anymore pain to anybody!.
i want to just go to sleep and forget it but i cant because i feel so bad and ive ruined everyones day!.
i know im so lucky to have eerything i have, and i dont deserve it, buti just keep getting everything wrong!.
is there something wrong with me!? i cant control my moods and nearly everyone has given up on me!. my own parents have called me things that i think are probably true, but cruel!.
please help me and tell me what to do!.!.!.!.
xxWww@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Sounds like you need to talk to a doctor!. What you are describing sounds like clinical depression or the down side of bipolar!. Anger is a symptom of both illnesses!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
You should definitely see a doctor! Try and focus less on what you do that is bad and think more on good things you have done!. Www@Answer-Health@Com