I suspect my father is planning to commit suicide after my mom dies from cancer.!


Question: I suspect my father is planning to commit suicide after my mom dies from cancer!. Help!?
My mother, who is in her 60s, has had cancer for five years and now has been told she's terminal!. My father is 75, strong, healthy and has been very supportive of my mom during her illness!. He has made comments in the past saying things like "I just need to stay healthy as long as your mom needs me!." and "If I ever had a heart attack no one had better try to bring me back!." He is an old rancher, hunter and fisherman, and very experienced and capable at those things!. Lately he has been giving away some of his belongings to his kids, with the comments "I just like to plan ahead, I know I won't live forever!." I have had the feeling in the back of my head that my father will kill himself after my mom is gone!. I always thought I was just worrying, but my brother phoned today with the same thoughts!.
What would you do!? He does not have a history of depression!. He is not confused or have any pych problems!. I totally do not believe he would be open to the idea of councelling (he's the old school rancher kind of guy) I do not believe he would take antidepressants!. He could not be commited to a hospital as he's mentally competent!. If I was to remove his guns he'd be furious, (plus I have no legal right to do that) plus he's quite able to get more if he wants!. (He was a gunsmith in the past) I don't want to talk to my mom about this because it would just be a huge weight on her!.
So what do I do!?!?!?!?Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
It sounds like your father is grieving the loss of your Mother already and is in the stage of depression already!. The stages of loss and grieving do not have to go in order and can overlap -- and since your Mom has had cancer for 5 years, he has had time to work through the stages over time!. The stages are: denial, anger, bargaining (usually with one's higher power such as "I'll be a better parent if only X happens!.") depression and acceptance!. I would suggest contacting your local hospice and getting some information about the stages of grieving that perhaps you could share with your Dad!. In fact, if hospice becomes involved in your Mom's life at the end they will be an invaluable aid in dealing with the grieving process for all of you!. (I don't know if that is something that has been discussed or not, but I highly recommend it if it has, it was a godsend for me as we lost my Mom 4 years ago!.)

If you don't have a local hospice, info can be found online at:
http://www!.caringinfo!.org/GrievingALoss
which is part of a national hospice site!.

Hope this helps some and good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Maybe try talking to him!. Say you suspect that he might try something when your mom passes and you want him to know that you need him just as much as you need your mom!. Say she might not be able to stick around much longer but he still can!. That's all I can really think of to do but whatever you choose to do, good luck, and Im sorry youre going through this!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

You should talk to your dad about it!.!.!. i do think that if you did talk to your mom and got her to talk to him about it that would really make him not kill himself if thats what he's planning on doing!.
GOD BlessWww@Answer-Health@Com

Dear girl at his age if the heart slows down from sadness he can pass away peacefully!. Don't worry yourself because if he wants to stay he will be careful to keep his body going!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

find a local church that will help you
have You told him that you love him and that you need him too!?

seek God
best regards on thisWww@Answer-Health@Com

Make sure he knows how much his children count on him through this difficult time!. Www@Answer-Health@Com

confront him before its too lateWww@Answer-Health@Com

have your mom go to a gerson inst!. to help save her lifeWww@Answer-Health@Com

PRAY MY DEAR LADY WHAT WILL BE WILL BE GOD BLESS ALL OF YOUWww@Answer-Health@Com

I'd spend more time with him!. Just to let him know that there are reasons to live!. Let him know that he is loved and that he is important in your life!. And I definitely agree that you shouldn't tell your mother!. Good luck and know that you have my prayers!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

if your dad is a spiritual person then maybe you could talk to him about where you mom will go when she dies (heaven)!. and let him know that if he were to do something like commit suicide that he won't be able to reunite with her in heaven!. God does not forgive suicide!. i really feel sorry for you guys and my heart and prayers are with you! God bless you!Www@Answer-Health@Com

i am sure sorry what you are going through, that is tough on you too!. can you talk with him, i know he is old timer and living in those ways!. but maybe remind him constantly that you and your siblings love him and if there are grandkids them too, and you know how painful it will be without your mom/wife!. but you will all still need each other!. keep reminding him of who will be left!. i wish i could tell you for sure the answer but that was what i came up with!. bless you honey i will pray for you and your family!. Www@Answer-Health@Com

I don't think your father is suicidal he has probably just become aware of his own mortality and the fact that his time here is limited!. Maybe he is giving away his belongings in preparation for this time and is starting to wind down!.Being and old school guy I don't think he would be considering anything so drastic because he would have high morals and a duty of care to his children!. Some people handle the death of a spouse differently to what others might expect my father-in-law lived 8 years after his wife died but I always said in his heart he died the same day she did!. Just support your dad and be gentle to his feelings let him reminisce and talk you are loosing your mum but he is loosing his life partner wife lover and best friend allot to cope with!. Be strong and live in the knowledge you will meet again!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Talk to your father!.

Don't come right out and say "are you going to kill yourself!.!.!.!."

No, you and your brother should keep saying comments like,
"Dad, I'm so happy you're here, you mean so much to me!."
"I don't know what I'd to without you!."
"Even though I feel so robbed, I am so thankful I have a wonderful father to support me, like you!."

Keep making positive suggestions to your father!.

If things persist, I'd openly talk to your father about your feelings!!!


Best of luck & God bless =]Www@Answer-Health@Com





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