How to deal with death?!
Question: How to deal with death!?
Well!.!.!. there's two different deaths I have to deal with right now!.
One, my boyfriends guinea pig died yesterday!. Now, understand that before he met me, piggy was pretty much one of his only friends!. Piggles was 2 years old when he died!. I don't know how to help him, because he's really torn up about it!.
The other death is my great grandma!. She lived in CA for most of my life, until she had a stroke in 2006, and she came to live here with my Great Aunt!. She died today, at 11 this morning!. I'd known she was going to die, but I didn't expect it to hit me like this!. I wish I'd gotten to know her better, and I feel guilty!.!.!.
The think that's really tearing me up though is that!.!.!.!. well, I went and saw her Thursday evening, and I talked to her!.!.!. and the last thing I told her was "I'll see you tomorrow, okay!? I love you!." and then we left!.!.!. but then I never went on Friday, because I was with my boyfriend!.!.!. and then yesterday, I could have gone, but I stayed because my boyfriends pet died and he needed me!.!.!. so I never got around to seeing her again!. The last thing I ever told my grandma was a lie!.!.!.!. and she looked so happy when I told her I would come back the next day!.!.!. I feel so guilty, and now she'll never know!.!.!.!.
I just need to get some advice!. How do I deal with my boyfriend being sad and me being torn apart at the same time!? I want to be there for him more than anything, but right now I can't handle it!.!.!. I don't know what to do!.
Thanks in advance!. :'-(Www@Answer-Health@Com
One, my boyfriends guinea pig died yesterday!. Now, understand that before he met me, piggy was pretty much one of his only friends!. Piggles was 2 years old when he died!. I don't know how to help him, because he's really torn up about it!.
The other death is my great grandma!. She lived in CA for most of my life, until she had a stroke in 2006, and she came to live here with my Great Aunt!. She died today, at 11 this morning!. I'd known she was going to die, but I didn't expect it to hit me like this!. I wish I'd gotten to know her better, and I feel guilty!.!.!.
The think that's really tearing me up though is that!.!.!.!. well, I went and saw her Thursday evening, and I talked to her!.!.!. and the last thing I told her was "I'll see you tomorrow, okay!? I love you!." and then we left!.!.!. but then I never went on Friday, because I was with my boyfriend!.!.!. and then yesterday, I could have gone, but I stayed because my boyfriends pet died and he needed me!.!.!. so I never got around to seeing her again!. The last thing I ever told my grandma was a lie!.!.!.!. and she looked so happy when I told her I would come back the next day!.!.!. I feel so guilty, and now she'll never know!.!.!.!.
I just need to get some advice!. How do I deal with my boyfriend being sad and me being torn apart at the same time!? I want to be there for him more than anything, but right now I can't handle it!.!.!. I don't know what to do!.
Thanks in advance!. :'-(Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
The thing is, you had no way of knowing she was going to die when she did!. The fact that she was happy when you left her tells me that she knew you loved her!. I had something similar happen to me with someone I loved!. A missed opportunity to be with them and then they died!. I've always felts sad about it!. But it wasn't intentional, just like you!. Forgive yourself!. Your grandma would forgive you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
you should worry about your grandma!. I had to deal with my cousin overdosing on alcohol and drugs then my 2 uncles died!. one from car accident and one committed suicide!. Then later on my grandma and grandpa died!. I have had a terrible life but i know there watching over us!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Death is just as common as birth!. You will encounter death your whole life!. Since you are young you are experiencing it for the first time!. Realize that time is the only thing that will help!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
This area is difficult!. I too had dealt with a great-grandmother, also an uncle & grandfather (1 day a part), an uncle on mom's side, and a close friend (around 1983)!. It's hard!. I still mourn over my "little buddy" who lost control of her car around 1983!.
Most of my trouble is not being active!. When I lost family, I was active and didn't mourn as long!. My mind wasn't on the loose as much!. Now I'm not able to be active and things are on my mind more!. Life isn't fair!.
Have you tried seeking help from a minister or such !? A friend that attends church that's a decon if not a minister !?
I think I know how you feel !.!. depression sux! :'-(
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Most of my trouble is not being active!. When I lost family, I was active and didn't mourn as long!. My mind wasn't on the loose as much!. Now I'm not able to be active and things are on my mind more!. Life isn't fair!.
Have you tried seeking help from a minister or such !? A friend that attends church that's a decon if not a minister !?
I think I know how you feel !.!. depression sux! :'-(
Www@Answer-Health@Com
My best friend just died yesterday, and it was my dog!. Best friend of 13 years, actually!. Now my dog lived 4000 miles away from me, that's just how life drove us apart!. I also knew, death will be near future, but I didn't know it was going to hit me like this either!. I cried my eyes out, some say it might be just kind of weird, since it was a dog, but she was very special to me!. Then I realized I wouldn't bring her back, and that she's in a much better place!. Family & friends comforting would be the best thing now!. We just have to keep on going, even if we don't want to!.
I know what it feels like!. =[
Hang on there!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I know what it feels like!. =[
Hang on there!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Let me join with the others, here, in offering you condolences on your loss!. Go to http://www!.mind!.org!.uk/ and type "grief" in the taskbar, and enter!. Call: The Grief Recovery Institute (U!.S!.A!.) 1-800-445-4808, or Hospice (phone book)!. Email jo@samaritans!.org Chatrooms and forums: www!.chatmag!.com/topics/health/grief!.html and http://talkingminds!.15!.forumer!.com/ and http://messageboards!.ivillage!.com/ Other websites: www!.griefnet!.org/ and http://www!.helpguide!.org/ (coping, supporting others, loss of relationship, or ****pet) and www!.mental-health-abc!.com/ and www!.boblivingstone!.com/!?q=node30 and www!.crusebereavementcare!.org!.uk/ Understand that there are often several stages of grief!.
The stages are:
Denial: The initial stage: "It can't be happening!."
Anger: "Why ME!? It's not fair!?!" (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as "responsible")
Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my son graduate!."
Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything!?"
Acceptance: "It's going to be OK!."
K
The stages are:
Denial: The initial stage: "It can't be happening!."
Anger: "Why ME!? It's not fair!?!" (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as "responsible")
Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my son graduate!."
Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything!?"
Acceptance: "It's going to be OK!."
K
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