Anyone else like this? Is it normal?!
Question: Anyone else like this!? Is it normal!?
I lost someone a couple months ago and I thought I was over it!. But recently, everytime I see something, anything that reminds me and 'triggers' an event or a memory that we had or whenever I see someone that looks like him, I get so lost in my thoughts (like blank out for a few seconds) people then think I'm weird, then I get depressed afterwards, then I'll be fine the next day!. Sometimes when I see a car that looks like his drive by, I would think it's him, get excited for a bit (it's a yellow suv, not many around) but then I realize that it couldn't possibly be this person!.!.
I just feel like it's impossible to completely get over this person, I just feel like it'll dwell on me for the rest of my life
Anyone else like this!? and how did you deal with it!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I just feel like it's impossible to completely get over this person, I just feel like it'll dwell on me for the rest of my life
Anyone else like this!? and how did you deal with it!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
When you say you "lost someone", I am assuming you mean that they passed away!? I am going to go with that!.!.!.
When a person loses a loved one, there are many stages that they go through (most commonly referred to as Kubler-Ross' stages of death and dying)!.!.!.I'm not trying to give you a Psychology lesson, but this theorist designed these stages in terms of what the person who is actually dying goes through, but I find that the loved ones AROUND them go through much of the same thing!. In any event, the first stage is 'denial', which is what I assume you were going through at the time you thought you were "over it"!. You were probably dissociating your feelings away from the situation as a defense mechanism so that you wouldn't feel the pain of the loss!. However, it is not that easy!. When you say the word, "triggers", you are being perfectly accurate because seeing these things: cars, people who look like him, an event or memory -- all that cause you to get lost in your thoughts and zone out a little is perfectly normal when you lose someone!. It hurts so much, and part of you still hasn't accepted that the person is truly gone, so when you see these things there remains still a little bit of subconscious hope that what you know is the truth, is not!.
I lost my favorite Aunt last November to a tragic car accident that of course took everyone by surprise and caused complete and utter devastation!. It will almost be a year, and I still find myself searching for old e-mails that she sent me, or cards I received in the mail!.!.!.anything that will give me any tiny grasp of her!. Am I over her death at this point!? NO!. Am I able to function and still put one foot in front of the other though!? Yes!. That's what makes the difference!. This is still such a recent loss for you, and no matter what, I never believe that there is a certain "time frame" that one can give themselves to say, "OK, I should be over this by now", because it just doesn't happen that way!.
So, here's what I would do:
1) Acknowledge that WHATEVER you may feel about this is real and valid and you have a right to feel that way!. Don't try to block it out or put it aside -- doing that will only make it worse in the long run!.
2) If you feel like people think you're "weird", try to figure out why that is (because if they care about you, they shouldn't think you're weird--I think it is more about them not fully understanding what you are experiencing), so tell them!. Communicate with them!. This will also help get some of your feelings out!. You need a support system!.
3) Seek out a therapist or counselor: someone who is completely unbiased and can help you though this difficult time!. This will help you to realize that your feelings are justified and will help you to develop the skills you need to deal with this!.
4) Understand that even though you may not believe it right now, the time WILL come where you will be able to remember this person with laughter and fun memories, without so much pain!. You may not ever get over the loss of this person per se, but you will be better able to deal with how it affects you!.!.!.do you see the difference!? I hope this helps!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
When a person loses a loved one, there are many stages that they go through (most commonly referred to as Kubler-Ross' stages of death and dying)!.!.!.I'm not trying to give you a Psychology lesson, but this theorist designed these stages in terms of what the person who is actually dying goes through, but I find that the loved ones AROUND them go through much of the same thing!. In any event, the first stage is 'denial', which is what I assume you were going through at the time you thought you were "over it"!. You were probably dissociating your feelings away from the situation as a defense mechanism so that you wouldn't feel the pain of the loss!. However, it is not that easy!. When you say the word, "triggers", you are being perfectly accurate because seeing these things: cars, people who look like him, an event or memory -- all that cause you to get lost in your thoughts and zone out a little is perfectly normal when you lose someone!. It hurts so much, and part of you still hasn't accepted that the person is truly gone, so when you see these things there remains still a little bit of subconscious hope that what you know is the truth, is not!.
I lost my favorite Aunt last November to a tragic car accident that of course took everyone by surprise and caused complete and utter devastation!. It will almost be a year, and I still find myself searching for old e-mails that she sent me, or cards I received in the mail!.!.!.anything that will give me any tiny grasp of her!. Am I over her death at this point!? NO!. Am I able to function and still put one foot in front of the other though!? Yes!. That's what makes the difference!. This is still such a recent loss for you, and no matter what, I never believe that there is a certain "time frame" that one can give themselves to say, "OK, I should be over this by now", because it just doesn't happen that way!.
So, here's what I would do:
1) Acknowledge that WHATEVER you may feel about this is real and valid and you have a right to feel that way!. Don't try to block it out or put it aside -- doing that will only make it worse in the long run!.
2) If you feel like people think you're "weird", try to figure out why that is (because if they care about you, they shouldn't think you're weird--I think it is more about them not fully understanding what you are experiencing), so tell them!. Communicate with them!. This will also help get some of your feelings out!. You need a support system!.
3) Seek out a therapist or counselor: someone who is completely unbiased and can help you though this difficult time!. This will help you to realize that your feelings are justified and will help you to develop the skills you need to deal with this!.
4) Understand that even though you may not believe it right now, the time WILL come where you will be able to remember this person with laughter and fun memories, without so much pain!. You may not ever get over the loss of this person per se, but you will be better able to deal with how it affects you!.!.!.do you see the difference!? I hope this helps!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
i cant say ive had the same experience with a human, but my dog whom i loved more than anything died in march and everything still reminds me of him!. i just embrace the reminder and remember what ever memory it triggers and know that i wont ever forget him!. you just have to learn to live with the memories!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
if you want to be all technical it is a form of depression, i don't want to refer to it as a type of depression!. you will just have to go through the steps 1!.denial 2 anger !.3depresion 4!.barganing 5!.acceptecne!.!.!. you just going to have to make it thourgh it buddy!.!.!. and all that your feeling is normal trust me!.!.!. there are some anti depressiants out there for this type of depression but they tend to have sevre side effects!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Sorry for your loss!.
The short answer is that two months is not too long to mourn!.
I mourned my Mother for a year, before I could finally think of something else, or go through an entire day without thinking of her
You can't make it go away, but it will!.
Bless YouWww@Answer-Health@Com
The short answer is that two months is not too long to mourn!.
I mourned my Mother for a year, before I could finally think of something else, or go through an entire day without thinking of her
You can't make it go away, but it will!.
Bless YouWww@Answer-Health@Com
i write every time i am grieving over the loss of my friend =(
It'll be easier and time goes by!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It'll be easier and time goes by!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com