Completely at rock bottom (you don't have to read it all, it's just an o!

Question: Completely at rock bottom (you don't have to read it all, it's just an outlet for me :])!?

Right, I don't really know why I'm writing all of this on yahoo answers but I just felt like I needed to pour it all out!.

All through my life I've been struggling with friend-related issues, and I've always been known as either a retard, a wierdo, or both!. In primary school, when I was young and naive, I didn't know why I was always being pushed away from social situations, IE going to someone's house or their party, I always thought it was because I was different in an unexplainable way!. I was always upset and moody because of this, and teachers couldn't figure out what was wrong with me!. I didn't even know myself at the time!.

Secondary school starts, and I'm in year 7!. Things start out somewhat decent, but I wore glasses and had no fashion sense/limited social skills due to lack of meaningful interaction with others my age!. Surprise surprise, I made no friends at all and got isolated/bullied every day!. Nobody stuck up for me, and the only thing that stopped me from suicide was actually a MMORPG (massively multiplayer online game) called Runescape!. My daily routine would be: rush through work, try to get through break and lunch quickly, go home full of self hate, rush through homework and log onto Runescape!. being accused of having no life was out of the question; it's not as if anyone would want to play out with me anyway!.

So, year 8 comes, I move forms, and for the first time in my entire life I find myself actually in a social circle with people who I really get on with!. In fact just remembering those memories now makes me so regretful!. A few months in, there's internal issues and my best friend slowly starts to slip away from me!. Things come to a head when he steals my girlfriend right under my nose and its perfectly justified to everyone else, then he manipulates her emotions to unwittingly have her turn almost everyone in my year against me, at the same time my aunt died and a rumour was spread that i killed her and ate her flesh!. It was widely believed!. I think at that point I must have lost my sense of morality and emotion, he had turned me into a monster, a psychopath!. After a 4 month campaign of keeping the whole thing secret from my mum, i decide telling her is probably the best thing to do because I was out of options!.

With most of the youth in my town either against me or wary of me, any sense of childhood memory has been lost (not that I had any in the first place) so she decides to send me to an out-of-town boarding school for the mentally challenged!. The people there were really nice, obviously a bit socially stunted but I wasn't one to talk!. After lots of personal reflection and training, I decide with my mum that it's time to move back to a normal school for my GCSES!.

I started at this school in September, and immediately made quite a lot of pretty good friends, including a specific girl who I liked a lot!. Everything seemed to be going just fine, when completely out of the blue one day, I stop getting texts off people and found myself being subtly refused from the circle!. Why!? Well, I think it's probably just because of who I am!. I wasn't made to be naturally friends with people, but then why do I feel the need for love and friendship!? Just recently, I feel it's the little thing that's pushed me over the edge to rock bottom now, because I don't know what to do now as pretty much the entire year thinks I'm strange and/or a retard!.

The thing is, I've completely lost interest in Runescape and pretty much any activity like that at all!. Pretty much nothing interests me or excites me anymore, and life has just become stale and boring!. From what I've heard, adulthood differs a lot from adolescence and childhood, and I wonder if the same thing applies to friends!?

To summarize: A bunch of stereotypical "odd one out" drivel except even people who are in year 11 like me have found friends, it seems I'm destined to be alone, but even things loners do (MMORPGS, nerdy things, etc) just aren't fun or interesting to me anymore!.

wow, i'm not gonna lie, your life has sucked pretty bad so far!. i can't believe these people were so mean to you over nothing! it makes me so mad just to read your story!.
i think some people just naturally have bad luck, and i'm afraid you may be one of them :/ that was good with the runescape, find something that makes you happy and stick with it!. finding a new hobby or interest would be a great first step!. for you, i suggest poetry or some form of writing!. i think you would be really good!. or try to pick up an instrument like piano or guitar!. it takes your mind off things and gives you something to release your feelings into!.
i hope things get better for you!. there is no way things can get worse, you have to catch a break sooner or later!. Www@Answer-Health@Com

We don't necessarily have to participate in the things which happen to us!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

i read the whole thing
and have no advice

Well your quite clearly not a retard and seem like a genuinely nice guy!. I read it all and so your like in fourth year or fifth year now i'm from scotland!. GSCE's are the same as standard grades am i right in thinking!. I'm in 5th year!. People at school can be really sh*t sometimes but soon you'll be away from these people and can go your own way!. One day you'll be in a successful job and have a nice girlfriend and you don't ever need to look back!. Just take pride in your appearance, Wear nice clothes and be nice and eventually things will come good!. xWww@Answer-Health@Com

Crazy as it sounds, you are just going through a phase in life!. In school you see a limited amount of cultures!.!.!.but just wait until you get out into the real world and get to explore!. I feel left out lots of times but when people ask who they can really count on!.!.!.I am usually on that list while others are not!. Good to get things out evey once in awhile!. Life is a struggle!. Do not give up! You have people who care about you!. Www@Answer-Health@Com

I can sort of identify!. I often feel like people don't like me and would rather if I weren't around, and as such, I tend not to make friends easily because I'm always worried they'd rather be doing something else, that they must be bored talking to me, that I'm not very interesting!.!.!.

I try to deal with it but sometimes I really crave companionship!. I have my boyfriend and I think he helps a lot, but having just one person!.!.!.!. frankly it can get kind of boring, and he's also a very "closeted" person!. He doesn't like letting his thoughts out, so he's kind of frustrating and when I want to tell him things, he won't give me any feedback!.

But anytime I try to meet people!.!.!. I go in with good intentions, thinking I'll make friends, but I end up shying away because I don't want to bother them!. If I talk too much or I sense that I'm bothering someone or that they might be busy I get away from them!. And most people that I know and have known, I've done this to - I always push them away!. So much that I try to avoid them so I don't have to say hi!.

So yeah, I sorta understand!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

ok, so whilst this will just seem patronising!.!.!.!.!.!.i'll say it anyway!.

it wont always be like this!. Evryone gets bullied at school!. you know that the aunt rumour is ridiculous!. hurtful, grossly inappropriate and very poorly timed!. it is ridiculous all the same!. at my school a girl got a song made up about her having cancer, ffs! kids are shi*s always will be, and im sorry you were one of those that got shat on rather than doing the shi**ing (!)!. but it wont always be like this

lots of kids spend too much time 'escaping' in computer games, and we all move on from the ones we used to love!.!.!.normal

thinking it will never change and you will always be an outcast!.!.!.normal!. the truth is evryone is the wrold is an outcast from 99!.999% of groups, but they can be big parts of groups that they want to be in!. if yours is games, then so be it!.

find out what you enjoy, find out what makes you tick, what interests you, and guaranteed there will be millions of people you can connect with whislt doing it!. it will not only be enjoyable, but it will build your confidence to tackle other issues!.

i could go on, but you need small steps!. internet will be good for you to connect to people, but dont make it your only outlet!. find REAL people(!) to enjoy things with!. they wont bully you, they'll like you, i promise!.!.!.!.!.unless you really eat flesh (sorry but it had to be said)!!?!!?!!?!

hope that last bit made you smile and not cry!. remember, you are better than all the people that have made you feel sh*t, because you havent done that to anyone, good luck enjoying life, you willWww@Answer-Health@Com

I think the most important thing is to try to find something that gets you excited about life again!. That sort of energy carries into all aspects of life!. Adolescence sucks!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

I just read your entire post!. I dont think its normal that people "suddenly" stop talking to u!. Are u sure u havnt done anything to push them away!? Sometimes u need to check yourself and love yourself before u expect ANYTHING from others!.

I feel like u are waaaay too young to even be thinking this!. Your life is not over, its not the end of the world, and believe it or not, it only takes one small change, one kind gesture or smile to change your life around!. I really think u need to get out there, and do things that u have always wanted for eg I have been depressed for the past year and im pretty sure if i wasnt to keep myself busy, i would have commited suicide!. I went to America (randomly) went to the roughest area in the states and stayed there at a hostel with random homeless ppl!. Im going on a hot air baloon ride next week and later on i plan to go and live in the wild, hitch hike etc!.

I dont give a damn about anything anymore!. I love nature and life therefore have made a conscience decision to explore and experience everything i want!.

Good luck to u!. Do something random!Www@Answer-Health@Com

start house robbing!.!. then u will start to climb the ladder!! Www@Answer-Health@Com

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