How do i prioritise right now ?!

Question: How do i prioritise right now !?
my mind is all disorganised and jumbled!.!.

i have BPD and ptsd traits, struggle with aggression and rage, high anxiety aggraphobia , scared to leave my apartment , persecutory paranoia that everyones against me!.

ive had an hard misfortunate life filled with trauma and abuse, ive missed out in life on ' social relationships ' forming any relationships - an education and qualifications - i have a criminal record going back 7 years ago and a long psychiatric record- been in a psyche hospital!.

im 30 years old, 31 in january next year, i live alone in a small apartment on disability , i own nothing except a computer!.

overall the mental health services have failed me throughout my existence , and only last year i got the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder!.

my psychiatrist wont persrcibe meds because he said they can be addictive and dangerous and they only last a short time and you have to keep on taking them for benifit !.

he aggreed i need psychanylitic therapy, i was refered to a group therapy centre for psychotherapy - they assessed me and said because ive been ' isolated ' for so long and still have problems with rage and aggression , that i wouldnt be ready right now to jump into a group therapy scenario , it would be too intense and challenging , and would possiblly stimulate my rage feelings!.

so they reccommended a local drop in centre near by where i live thats less intense where they do activities & different projects , and theres people there like myself, they reccommended i attend this place to help me ' integrate back into society '!.

they have provided me with an occupational therapist to help me practically to get out and face my aggraphobia and anxiety through ' desensitization ' - facing the fear gradually!.!.!.

they have told me thers no 1 on 1 individual psychotherapy in my area because of lack of funding - which is what i wanted for my complex social behavioural issues !.

even my psychiatrist aggreed i need the therapy but has no control over what resources are available in the area!.

meanwhile i have an injured ankle which i sprained a year ago, torn tendons in my ankle that im doing physio exercise for and i will need an operation to see what damage has occured!.!.

so theres just worry, anxiety, stress, insecurity , racing thoughts all around with me!.

i feel anxious because i wanna attain my goals in life of a decent paid job in computers then to leave england and move to my country of heritage and origin ; france - a nice part of france , rural and find a partner , settle down etc!.!.

im scared time will run out and im too disadvantaged to achieve that goal!.

meanwhile what do i do !?

kick up a fuss for individual psychotherapy or just go along and accept what their offering !?Www@Answer-Health@Com

Spend less time on the net!. Get out and meet someone!. You have less time to think about your problems when you get out to explore the world!.Www@Answer-Health@Com


Very soon you'll go abroad,
If you are so lucky!.
You'll get to know a different world -
Terrible and yucky!.

There, far, getting foreign knowledge,
Don't forget your Russky life,
Don't forget your native college,
Don't forget your friends and wife!.

Very soon You'll say: "MEPhI, so long!"
And depart somewhere,
But remember, please, this Russky song
And repeat it there!.

There, far, getting foreign knowledge,
Don't forget your Russky life,
Don't forget your native college,
Don't forget your friends and wife!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Hi Dogtanian!.

you have a great Avatar!

God bless


yeah kick u a fuss!.!.!.!. whould be intresting to know where in england you were mayb someone might know of a therapist for you!.!.!.!.!.

time is not running out for you, but try and look on the brighter side of things you always go on about all the bad stuff!.!.!.!.

actually i think you have had it easy compaired to some of us!.!.!.!.!. i would trade with you!Www@Answer-Health@Com

Time may run out for you my friend, if you don't help yourself!.
Psychotherapy or counseling does very little other than help you get inside yourself, and realise the cause of your problems - something you keep mentioning, which I believe you are dealing with in your own way!.
I have mentioned in a previous answer that I thought you were as much a victim of society, as a victim of yourself!.

You have ambition, so do something about it!.
Get yourself on a computing course at a college - which will be free as you are on benefit, and stop dwelling on the past and unknown future!.
Live for today, and try to do something positive in every today that you have!.
Accept the fact that sometimes we all have to accept things differently to how we may otherwise have wanted them!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

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