Im so disadvantaged & far away from my ambitions in life i want , what do i do?!


Question: Im so disadvantaged & far away from my ambitions in life i want , what do i do!?
im nearly 31 have a personality disorder and ptsd symptoms, suffered a woefully misfortunate life so far , missed out on qualifications, forming friendships , being employed , living a life, forming relationships etc !.

im starting from scratch, i own nothing except a computer , i live in a one bedroom flat on disability , im chasing therapy , one on one psychology which is not available in my area due to lack of resources , so they put forth a drop in centre where they do activities to help me integrate with ' humanity ' better!.

i suffer With agoraphobia, low self esteem at times, rage and aggression, high anxiety, persecutors paranoia , racing thoughts - even though ive managed well for years and improved with a lot of it!.!.

i have a criminal past 7 years ago, a psychiatric record, obviously, been in a mental institution, 8 years ago!.


my big ambition in life is to have a fully independent life, a decent paid job in computers , to move abroad and leave britain , maybe ; austria, spain or germany!.

i have an injured ankle which will take time to heal, torn tendons due to a sprain a year ago!.

im out of shape and physically weak, have physical imperfections ; 2 missing teeth, a crooked little finger due to an injury years ago, injured nerves in my right knuckle because i punched a stone wall years ago!.!.


i go out there when im brave enough to get my groceries, pay bills, and i see people living happy , carefree , fulfilling lives full of richness!.

i see it on tv , on myspace!.



in the present i still get that aloof, standoffish vibe from people in the community , and sometimes the only ones who show kindness , frienliness are the type i feel feel sorry for me and are giving me the message im a charity case , so theyll accept me on those basis!.

then im normally aloof back, and reject them, sending the message, they are not wanted in my life!.

then i leave!.



i feel stuck here, far away from my goals in life of a decent job in computers of moving abroad , leaving england living in germany or austria, a quiet village, a secure , stable life, financially ok etc!.

im so far away its severly depressing me!.Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
you have to take it one step at a time!. make yourself a list in the order of importance to you!. take one goal and work on it!. don't think of all the reasons you can't but think of one reason you can! or one good reason you want to!. take one day at a time!. don't think too far ahead!. you'll only get frustrated doing that!. once you make that first goal, then you'll realize you can do the others!. don't look at yourself as a loser!. if you do that, you've already lost!. look at yourself as a winner!
keep telling yourself "I can do this"
best wishes: rmWww@Answer-Health@Com

You seem in dire need of 'a simple life'!.
Living in a village
Buying your bread from a baker you know,
Eating It with good quality friends!.
Being loved for who you are,
Paying for your bills with your brains,
Sleeping soundly because of all the above!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

So many people have said that to me, "Do you think I don



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