How do you get over being raped?!


Question: How do you get over being raped!?
i was raped 9 years ago and i still cant get over it!. I feel so ashamed!. The guy who did it was a social worker and my best friends dad!. i thought i could trust him!. i was only 15 when it happened!. he did it several times over a period of 3 months!. I tried to commit suicide a few times but didnt succeed !. i am now having those thoughts again!. How do i deal with this!.Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
You need to make a decision based on a couple things (one of these isn't necessarily more important than the other);
- is there a chance that the person who victimized you is doing the same to others!?
- are you ready to "help yourself"!?

You need to admit TO YOURSELF that you want help, admit to yourself that YOU were not to blame in this, and if you do not want anyone else to go thru what you are going through at the hands of this person that you will have to go back to the police and finish what has been started there!.

First - there are mental health offices / support groups / counsellors / victim services available who are there to help you and provide you support with this ordeal, whether you go back to the police or not!. IF you choose to go back to the police, they should be able to help you seek support and assistance!.

Whether you go back to the police or not is something that you will have to come to terms with however, you need to seek out counselling / support either way!. Often times, in realizing you do not want anyone else victimized and you want this person to face the consequences of their actions, this can help you bring closure to what has happened!. It IS difficult to tell the police the details of what happened, it IS difficult to have to retell this in court however your "support services" will be there to help you with this (in some cases, they allow victims to be "hidden" from their "abusers" in court to make it easier for you to tell your story) and you will probably get great relief from making your "attacker" face consequences!. KEEP IN MIND THAT THE COURT SYSTEM MAY NOT FIND THINGS IN YOUR FAVOUR HOWEVER IN YOUR MIND, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU WAS WRONG AND WHATEVER THE OUTCOME OF COURT HAS NO BEARING ON THE FACT THAT THIS PERSON VIOLATED YOUR PERSONAL RIGHTS!.

There are literally THOUSANDS of victims out there who have come to terms with what has happened to them, who have come forward and made their "attackers" be held responsible - there are thousands more who choose not to send their assailants to justice (for many reasons) however they have still sought out support and counselling and are dealing with what has happened as a result!. Some of these victims now help others who have been placed in the same situation!. If nothing else, do everything YOU CAN to seek out the support and assistance that you need to deal with this!.

Remember that YOU did nothing to cause this, YOU should not feel ashamed and YOU are not alone!. Unfortunately, YOU have to take the steps (as difficult as they are) to reclaim your life - but it is worth every step you have to take and eventually you may be able to help someone else in your shoes - Good Luck!

Www@Answer-Health@Com

You just have to face it!.!.!.it happened and it's over!. If you report it, keep in mind that you will have to face a trial, and it's been 9 years, therefore all physical proof is gone!. Unless he admits to it, it will be very hard to win the case, which is going to hurt you even more if you lose!. I would suggest talking to somebody about it, and I know how hard it is, I've dealt with those things too, and I still have nightmares over it sometimes!.
You should seek help if this continues!. Www@Answer-Health@Com

I am so sorry this happened to you!. Know this was not your fault!. I believe the only way one can get over such a traumatic experience is to seek professional help from a psychiatrist, especially if you are having suicidal thoughts!. Call the local mental health hotline at the hospital if you need to talk to someone!.Don't deal with this alone!. Your life is still worth living otherwise you are giving your power over to the man who did this to you!. Www@Answer-Health@Com

talk it out with a couselor or a psycologist, they are the only ones who can help you with something like that, becuase thats what they went to school for, dont listen to like other people that dont know what their talking about!. DONT commit suicide!. and dont feel ashamed that guy was a complete asshole he should die becuase he was supposed to be a social worker and he knew what he was doing was wrong!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

I have been in your shoes and all i can say is two things!. One is that if this son of a mother hummer goose isn't behind bars then you need to find the courage to tell the police!. This person will not stop and he could hurt someone else but you have the power to stop him!. You can choose not to let him win!. When i was raped it was horrible!. I was staring at the clock praying to god that it would be over with soon!. I couldn't get the scent off me and i felt so dirty!. I could lay down and be the victim or i could be a survivor and make sure that no one else gets hurt by the man that hurt me!. It helped to talk to someone but what helped me was boxing!. I am not sure where you are at because i would stand right by you every step of the way!. Find someone that can do that!. Www@Answer-Health@Com

Have you ever had counselling!? This may help you if you could talk it through!. There is also an online support group at www!.pandys!.org!. I was in a sexually abusive relationship that ended two years ago and I can honestly say I'm over it, so it can be done!. However, everybody heals at different speeds and in different ways!.

Please don't commit suicide, if you do you're letting the rapist win as well as devastating your family and friends!. Please see a doctor asap to get a referral to a specialist who can help!. It will be painful reliving it but it's the only path to true healing, you must accept what happened and accept that it was not your fault!. You have nothing to be ashamed of!. Go and make the appointment now!. Good luck xWww@Answer-Health@Com

i was the same!. i felt so ashamed!. but one day i thought "it wasn't my fault"!. and you should feel the same to!. it should be the rapist who feels terrible,not you!. i went to the police and told them everything and when he was prosecuted, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders!. the rapist told me he would kill me if i told, i said this to the police and he was given a restraining order!. that's how they silence you!. they use your fear and hope that you will be too scared!. it's like a bully!. they say if you "snitch" then they will beat you up even more!. well it can be stopped!. i suggest that you go to the police and tell them everything!. you've got nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about!. go to a counselor as well and they will help you get through it!. tell your mum or a trusted friend!. they can help too!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

the second person is right i know what he did he did to your body but the problem is now in your head and that's where you are going to have to work on it i think talking about stuff helps but you have to find some one you can open up to so you can let all your feelings go i can't imagine how you feel but i can tell you that you can over come it don't let what some jerk did to you ruin your who life because he is not worth that Www@Answer-Health@Com

Did you ever report it!? Having justice served may help to make you feel better, but I know that there is nothing more destructive to a woman then raping her!.

I am sure there is counseling you can go to!.!.!. Try to find a therapist to talk to this about or a family member you can confide in!.

I wish I could make it go away for you!.!.!. I am really sorry you are going through this!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Im sorry hun that you went through that!. But you have to think along the lines of because he is a pathetic dirty evil man doesn't mean you should give up!. Show him and mostly yourself that you can rise above it, become a better person and live stronger!.
Also what happens if he is doing this to someone younger who cant voice it!? you can stop it happening!. So look at it that its down to you to stop him and to get justice!. Good luck xWww@Answer-Health@Com

Ring your community health centre and book in for an appointment!. and don't be scared of telling the police everything, if he's locked up then he can't hurt you, besides if he's done it once he will do it again but to someone else and you wouldn't want that!. Don't feel ashamed it's not your fault!.Www@Answer-Health@Com



Call your local crisis rape hot line and tell them what you just said!.
Good luck and my prayers go out to you!. Also you can contact your local mental health care facility asap and tell them also!. Perhaps if you have a trusted fried or realtive you can talk to about this they can offer you support and accompany you when you go!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Sweetie, start some counseling, it really makes a difference!.
Also, tell the police!. The guy needs to stop working in his capacity as a Social Worker!. Don't let him be encouraged by his awful success with you, such that he feels empowered to continue!.
I'm sorry!.
Best wishes!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Hello,

(ANS) My sincerest advise would be to go and have some sessions with an experienced psychotherapist!. They could in my opinion help you more than anyone else, to deal with the unresolved issues that remain to haunt you!.

http://www!.bac!.co!.uk or http://www!.bacp!.co!.uk

IvanWww@Answer-Health@Com

first you have to report it to the police,this bastard took complete advantage of you and shouldn't be allowed to get away with it,after this you should seek therapy,and find a real nice guy for a b/f Www@Answer-Health@Com

you need to get counseling and don't blame yourself
if i were you i would report him to police he needs to be locked you were only a child and your father needs to know please don't suffer in silenceWww@Answer-Health@Com


I dont think this is the place to talk about it!. I'll just say i know how you feel i still get scared when i think about it!! just find someone to talk to! dont go the sucide route!Www@Answer-Health@Com

go see a councillor talking to someone will ease the pain and maybe help you in the future dont let that scum ruin your lifeWww@Answer-Health@Com

See doctor/therapist and when you feel that u r ready, give the guy a free vasectamy!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

buy some teargas or try going in taekwondo class to protect yourself ok!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

just pray to god!.!.seriously and ask him to help you!.!.and to give you alot of strenght ans supportWww@Answer-Health@Com

go see doctorWww@Answer-Health@Com

Why do you feel ashamed!? You don't have to tell me, but can you tell yourself!? Can you write out any accusations you hold against yourself and look at them!. Can you cross out any that you know in your heart, even if you still feel to blame, weren't your fault!? How many are left!? If any, can you forgive yourself for them!. Can you remember the idealistic, innocent, trusting young girl you were and feel compassion for her!. Can you place your anger where it belongs!? On the one who led you to believe he would be safe, and then violated your innocence!?
I would like to ask you to go see someone- a counselor or pastor who has dealt with rape victims before!.
You have way more going on here than just the repeated rape!. You're rape is compounded by it being a "safe person" or an authority!.
That's like a child who loses his Mom and goes to the police officer on the corner to get help only to find the officer is a kidnapper!.
These feelings won't just magically disappear, the nightmares, the self loathing, the hopelessness, until you get help!. It takes courage!. Take a deep breath and make the call!.
-Edit- Get help for you first, then when you're stronger deal with the legal stuff against him!. One step at a time!.
In my nieces case, it helped her to remember that if she didn't prosecute, the guy was free to try this on other women!. "Not to MY sister's you don't!"Www@Answer-Health@Com





The consumer health information on answer-health.com is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007-2011 answer-health.com -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Categories