How do i not feel angry with myself for not being able to deal with people or so!
Question: How do i not feel angry with myself for not being able to deal with people or society most times!?
for a long time now people in general in my local community have acted ; stand-offish, aloof, patronising , insolent, brusque , disparaging ,belittling, condescending, haughty, and very non accepting of me , rebuffing my efforts to be friendly or civil , like trying to single me out , socially exclude me and ; make a victim out of me!.!.
ive experienced this by society but ive tried to carry on and ignore it, like its not bothering me!.
i could understand this behaviour maybe in the past because i used to have countless rage and aggressive outbursts in public , like a build up of stress and paranoia , similar to ; intermittent explosive disorder -
although that is not what i have , im 30 years old and a year ago was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and my psychiatrist accepted i have ptsd traits to!.
the rage and aggression came from bullying, victimisation, taunts, physical attacks, throughout my early adult life where i stored up anger because i was sensitive and never fought back!.
ive managed my conduct and rage for years now nearly 7 years, ive been chasing help from psychiatric services, i have bad agoraphobia - but theres no resources for individual psychotherapy in my area , so im having to accept what their offering, which is ;
an occupational therapist to help me get out , face my anxieties, and a resource centre where they do activities to help me integrate with humanity again!.
i accept my disorderly, antisocial, dishonourable behaviour of the past where i used to lose it in public because i was jealous at seeing other people outside happy!. where i would lash out, get attacked ( publicly humiliated ) cautioned by the police!.!.
but this was many years ago, and it wasnt exactly a crime against humanity!. iam not evil incarnate or ' the wicked one '!.!.
but the way some of the public treat me with their non acceptance, aloofness , its like im being treated as a public hate figure!.
and this is still happening in the present - i try to be friendly, civil, im steadily changing my ways , managing my aggression , but people dont seem accepting of me or are not ' reciprocating ' my efforts!.
this behaviour has been going on for a long time and now i feel victimised and singled out!.
i wont bow down to be accepted like i did in the past, YET , this behaviour by others reactions is screwing me up, controlling me , because at times im vulnerable , lonely and desperately seek approval , acceptance , validation, so in-effect ; people are controlling me because im;
' dancing to the beat of their drum '!.
i really dont no how to react or handle this behaviour accept to feel and act aggressive towards people , react with outrage at peoples negative perceptions and behaviour towards me !.!.!.!.!.!.' enraged ' at them that they wont or dont seem to be accepting me no matter what i do!.!.
i lose my conduct, then i take 10 steps back, because i work so hard to stay in control!.!.
so tell me any psychologists !?
what other or different ways can i handle peoples behaviour without losing it, becoming aggressive , feeling inferior and INEPT!.
what other ways do i react to peoples attitudes towards me that seem very negative at times !?
i think im acting desperate and needy for acceptance and i cant disguise it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
ive experienced this by society but ive tried to carry on and ignore it, like its not bothering me!.
i could understand this behaviour maybe in the past because i used to have countless rage and aggressive outbursts in public , like a build up of stress and paranoia , similar to ; intermittent explosive disorder -
although that is not what i have , im 30 years old and a year ago was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and my psychiatrist accepted i have ptsd traits to!.
the rage and aggression came from bullying, victimisation, taunts, physical attacks, throughout my early adult life where i stored up anger because i was sensitive and never fought back!.
ive managed my conduct and rage for years now nearly 7 years, ive been chasing help from psychiatric services, i have bad agoraphobia - but theres no resources for individual psychotherapy in my area , so im having to accept what their offering, which is ;
an occupational therapist to help me get out , face my anxieties, and a resource centre where they do activities to help me integrate with humanity again!.
i accept my disorderly, antisocial, dishonourable behaviour of the past where i used to lose it in public because i was jealous at seeing other people outside happy!. where i would lash out, get attacked ( publicly humiliated ) cautioned by the police!.!.
but this was many years ago, and it wasnt exactly a crime against humanity!. iam not evil incarnate or ' the wicked one '!.!.
but the way some of the public treat me with their non acceptance, aloofness , its like im being treated as a public hate figure!.
and this is still happening in the present - i try to be friendly, civil, im steadily changing my ways , managing my aggression , but people dont seem accepting of me or are not ' reciprocating ' my efforts!.
this behaviour has been going on for a long time and now i feel victimised and singled out!.
i wont bow down to be accepted like i did in the past, YET , this behaviour by others reactions is screwing me up, controlling me , because at times im vulnerable , lonely and desperately seek approval , acceptance , validation, so in-effect ; people are controlling me because im;
' dancing to the beat of their drum '!.
i really dont no how to react or handle this behaviour accept to feel and act aggressive towards people , react with outrage at peoples negative perceptions and behaviour towards me !.!.!.!.!.!.' enraged ' at them that they wont or dont seem to be accepting me no matter what i do!.!.
i lose my conduct, then i take 10 steps back, because i work so hard to stay in control!.!.
so tell me any psychologists !?
what other or different ways can i handle peoples behaviour without losing it, becoming aggressive , feeling inferior and INEPT!.
what other ways do i react to peoples attitudes towards me that seem very negative at times !?
i think im acting desperate and needy for acceptance and i cant disguise it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Your question shows that you really have tried to address the problems you have had in the past!.
Good for You!
The present problem seems to be other people's distrust & wariness of you!.This is really down to THEIR tolerance levels & lack of any forgiveness{if indeed you WERE that bad!}
The thing is this;you sound like a real nice sensitive guy who has journeyed far to get to your present state of being!.In time those around you must see this!.It is annoying,but carry on the way you are doing & you will win through!.
Do you live in a small town with a small-town mentality!?No,I don't advise you to move away just yet!.I think you just have to ride it out for the moment OR this feeling will follow you anywhere you go!.
Also,think of this!.You are a New You!.These others are still stuck in the same rut!.Perhaps they may even resent that you have this brand new chance!.If they are so entrenched in their prejudices this is not such a surprise!.
Go on as you are---i!.e!.being your shiny new self!.Forget trying to impress these others!.
Your chance is now!.Enjoy being "healthy"for what it is!.
{Also,it's not just you!I hate to admit it,but I remember the guy who peed his pants in school a lot!.}He's now a successful lawyer!.We are all remembered for something embarrassing we've done when young!.
The Very Best & Hugs,Ginny xWww@Answer-Health@Com
Good for You!
The present problem seems to be other people's distrust & wariness of you!.This is really down to THEIR tolerance levels & lack of any forgiveness{if indeed you WERE that bad!}
The thing is this;you sound like a real nice sensitive guy who has journeyed far to get to your present state of being!.In time those around you must see this!.It is annoying,but carry on the way you are doing & you will win through!.
Do you live in a small town with a small-town mentality!?No,I don't advise you to move away just yet!.I think you just have to ride it out for the moment OR this feeling will follow you anywhere you go!.
Also,think of this!.You are a New You!.These others are still stuck in the same rut!.Perhaps they may even resent that you have this brand new chance!.If they are so entrenched in their prejudices this is not such a surprise!.
Go on as you are---i!.e!.being your shiny new self!.Forget trying to impress these others!.
Your chance is now!.Enjoy being "healthy"for what it is!.
{Also,it's not just you!I hate to admit it,but I remember the guy who peed his pants in school a lot!.}He's now a successful lawyer!.We are all remembered for something embarrassing we've done when young!.
The Very Best & Hugs,Ginny xWww@Answer-Health@Com
You could do with loving the you you like!. Others opinions or perceived opinions will not matter as much!.
To love yourself is something that can take a while!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
To love yourself is something that can take a while!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
what do you do if someone is bullying you!? My advice falls into two categories: preventing a run-in with the bully, and what to do if you end up face-to-face with the bully!.
Preventing a run-in with a bully:
Don't give the bully a chance!. As much as you can, avoid the bully!. You can't go into hiding, of course!. But if you can take a different route and avoid him or her, do so!.
Stand tall and be brave!. When you're scared of another person, you're probably not feeling your bravest!. But sometimes just acting brave is enough to stop a bully!. How does a brave person look and act!? Stand tall and you'll send the message: "Don't mess with me!." It's easier to feel brave when you feel good about yourself!. See the next tip!
Feel good about you!. Nobody's perfect, but what can you do to look and feel your best!? Maybe you'd like to be more fit!. If so, maybe you'll decide to get more exercise, watch less TV, and eat healthier snacks!. Or maybe you feel you look best when you shower in the morning before school!. If so, you could decide to get up a little earlier so you can be clean and refreshed for the school day!.
Get a buddy (and be a buddy)!. Two is better than one if you're trying to avoid being bullied!. Also people might treat you more like the person you really are if they see you with other people!.
If the bully says or does something to you:
Ignore them!. If you can, try your best to ignore their threats!. Pretend you don't hear them and walk away quickly to a place of safety!. People want a big reaction to their teasing and meanness!. Acting as if you don't notice and don't care is like giving no reaction at all, and this just might stop a their behavior!.
Stand up for yourself!. Pretend to feel really brave and confident!. Tell the bully "No! Stop it!" in a loud voice!. Then walk away!. If a bully wants you to do something that you don't want to do
Preventing a run-in with a bully:
Don't give the bully a chance!. As much as you can, avoid the bully!. You can't go into hiding, of course!. But if you can take a different route and avoid him or her, do so!.
Stand tall and be brave!. When you're scared of another person, you're probably not feeling your bravest!. But sometimes just acting brave is enough to stop a bully!. How does a brave person look and act!? Stand tall and you'll send the message: "Don't mess with me!." It's easier to feel brave when you feel good about yourself!. See the next tip!
Feel good about you!. Nobody's perfect, but what can you do to look and feel your best!? Maybe you'd like to be more fit!. If so, maybe you'll decide to get more exercise, watch less TV, and eat healthier snacks!. Or maybe you feel you look best when you shower in the morning before school!. If so, you could decide to get up a little earlier so you can be clean and refreshed for the school day!.
Get a buddy (and be a buddy)!. Two is better than one if you're trying to avoid being bullied!. Also people might treat you more like the person you really are if they see you with other people!.
If the bully says or does something to you:
Ignore them!. If you can, try your best to ignore their threats!. Pretend you don't hear them and walk away quickly to a place of safety!. People want a big reaction to their teasing and meanness!. Acting as if you don't notice and don't care is like giving no reaction at all, and this just might stop a their behavior!.
Stand up for yourself!. Pretend to feel really brave and confident!. Tell the bully "No! Stop it!" in a loud voice!. Then walk away!. If a bully wants you to do something that you don't want to do
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