How do i not feel bitterly jealous and angry towards other people easy, happy li!
Question: How do i not feel bitterly jealous and angry towards other people easy, happy lives !?
i was diagnosed with borderline personality and ptsd traits a 2 years ago!.!.!.!.before then ive never had consistant treatment and slipped through the net!.
ive had a hard existance full of unfair misfortunes, my psychiatrist wont give me medications because he said there addictive and wont work in the long term!.!.
they give me an occupational therapist to help me get out to face my agoraphobia and anxiety , go to a resource centre where they do different activities , to help reintegrate me with humanity again!.
they declined me from group therapy, 5 days a week because after being isolated so long they said group therapy would be to intense and very challenging, so to try the drop in resource centre , with a view to be re-refered back to the group therapy!.
they dont have individual psychotherapy in my area because of lack of funding and resources , so i have to go along with what they offer for now!.
most of my adult life ive struggled with aggression outbursts, paranoia, anxiety panic attacks, low self esteem, racing thoughts , struggle to focus sometimes on text or on things!.
ive made a lot of progress by myself for years now!.!.
i exist in a one bedroom apartment on disability, i own not very many possessions and im starting from scratch in life at nearly 31!.
ive missed out on everything in life: forming relationships , being employed , getting qualifications , education , and just basically living my life!.
i live alone in a one bedroom apartment in the north of britain, ive lived alone for 4 years now - individual psychotherapy is not available in my area because of lack of resources , so im having to accept what their offering which is : an occupational therapist to help me get out, and face my anxieties practically - and to attend a drop in resource centre where they do different activities to help me integrate with humanity again because ive been isolated for so long!.!.!.
im on disability and i own virtually nothing except a computer, i get angry a lot sometimes!.!.!.
my ankle is injured, ( torn tendons ) due to a bad sprain years ago, running through a meadow at night!. im doing physio excercises, it will need operating on!.
im out of shape and unfit because of long term inactivity!.
my doctor today just perscribed bisoprolol 2!. 5mg for my anxiety!.
my psychiatrist wont perscribe meds because he said alot of them are addictive and dont work over the long term - so im greatful to my doctor for perscribing something!.
im at clear disadvantages in life!.
my ambitions and goals in life that ive had since childhood are : to attain a decent paid job in computers , then to leave england, move abroad to europe , live near a coastline or near nature , find a partner , get my own home , live simply and securely!.
but how will i achieve that at my disadvantages at my age of nearly 31!?
i just feel overwhelmed , like im not getting the right help or the same help as someone else in my situation, with my disorders!.!.
ive basically had a miserable tortured existence , the only thing i hold onto is my ambitions of moving away from britain, which is a long way off!.
i soon approach 31 having achieved NOTHING arrgh ! because of a tormented existance !.
why shouldnt i feel jealous of happy grinning people with fullfilling lives !? looking at them makes me feel enraged!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
ive had a hard existance full of unfair misfortunes, my psychiatrist wont give me medications because he said there addictive and wont work in the long term!.!.
they give me an occupational therapist to help me get out to face my agoraphobia and anxiety , go to a resource centre where they do different activities , to help reintegrate me with humanity again!.
they declined me from group therapy, 5 days a week because after being isolated so long they said group therapy would be to intense and very challenging, so to try the drop in resource centre , with a view to be re-refered back to the group therapy!.
they dont have individual psychotherapy in my area because of lack of funding and resources , so i have to go along with what they offer for now!.
most of my adult life ive struggled with aggression outbursts, paranoia, anxiety panic attacks, low self esteem, racing thoughts , struggle to focus sometimes on text or on things!.
ive made a lot of progress by myself for years now!.!.
i exist in a one bedroom apartment on disability, i own not very many possessions and im starting from scratch in life at nearly 31!.
ive missed out on everything in life: forming relationships , being employed , getting qualifications , education , and just basically living my life!.
i live alone in a one bedroom apartment in the north of britain, ive lived alone for 4 years now - individual psychotherapy is not available in my area because of lack of resources , so im having to accept what their offering which is : an occupational therapist to help me get out, and face my anxieties practically - and to attend a drop in resource centre where they do different activities to help me integrate with humanity again because ive been isolated for so long!.!.!.
im on disability and i own virtually nothing except a computer, i get angry a lot sometimes!.!.!.
my ankle is injured, ( torn tendons ) due to a bad sprain years ago, running through a meadow at night!. im doing physio excercises, it will need operating on!.
im out of shape and unfit because of long term inactivity!.
my doctor today just perscribed bisoprolol 2!. 5mg for my anxiety!.
my psychiatrist wont perscribe meds because he said alot of them are addictive and dont work over the long term - so im greatful to my doctor for perscribing something!.
im at clear disadvantages in life!.
my ambitions and goals in life that ive had since childhood are : to attain a decent paid job in computers , then to leave england, move abroad to europe , live near a coastline or near nature , find a partner , get my own home , live simply and securely!.
but how will i achieve that at my disadvantages at my age of nearly 31!?
i just feel overwhelmed , like im not getting the right help or the same help as someone else in my situation, with my disorders!.!.
ive basically had a miserable tortured existence , the only thing i hold onto is my ambitions of moving away from britain, which is a long way off!.
i soon approach 31 having achieved NOTHING arrgh ! because of a tormented existance !.
why shouldnt i feel jealous of happy grinning people with fullfilling lives !? looking at them makes me feel enraged!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
I feel the same spec since my mom just died sunday :(( She started to die more then 2 weeks before but held on to allow me not only to say good bye but to set myself up with social workers etc who can help me!.
When i first found out she was gonna die soon i wanted to die as well but i promised her at nurses' urging that i would be ok now i must keep that oath!. Thru out my career and her illness and dad's yrs ago met alot of real shitheads in the roles of dr nurse soc worker etc!. But the people who cared for mom and me recently have restored my faith in humanity a bit
I once was happy and will be again as u will beWww@Answer-Health@Com
When i first found out she was gonna die soon i wanted to die as well but i promised her at nurses' urging that i would be ok now i must keep that oath!. Thru out my career and her illness and dad's yrs ago met alot of real shitheads in the roles of dr nurse soc worker etc!. But the people who cared for mom and me recently have restored my faith in humanity a bit
I once was happy and will be again as u will beWww@Answer-Health@Com
Most likely, they are all wondering the same thing!.
Anybody who has simply met me would tell you I'm happy!. There's something to be said for acting!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Anybody who has simply met me would tell you I'm happy!. There's something to be said for acting!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think it is would be easy for someone to tell you how not to feel angry and depressed!. They're just words!.!.!.easy to say or type!. The fact is, your situation sucks! I'm sorry for that!. But, I think a lot of people who have the things you desire, have similar feelings as you!. I think the key is that you understand that living is about giving and sharing, I'm willing to bet you have a lot to share and give!.
Open your heart and your life and share with others something about you!. Maybe you can visit a hospital to give comfort to someone who is dying or maybe some older person who's family have discarded them!.
I hope I don't seem condescending, I just know that you have value, and I wish you could see that in spite of what you don't have, you can still be a treasure in someone's life!.
Your friend in the USA Www@Answer-Health@Com
Open your heart and your life and share with others something about you!. Maybe you can visit a hospital to give comfort to someone who is dying or maybe some older person who's family have discarded them!.
I hope I don't seem condescending, I just know that you have value, and I wish you could see that in spite of what you don't have, you can still be a treasure in someone's life!.
Your friend in the USA Www@Answer-Health@Com
I can see why you would feel angry when you are in your situation, and you see others on the face of it enjoying an 'easy' life!. However,I must agree with Jinni in the sense that a lot of the time, we think everyone else is in a better position than ourselves in life, when in fact they are also going through turmoil!.
Now, I don't like to go for the 'there's always someone worse off' option, because that never really helps anyone feel better!. However, the fact that there will be a lot in the same position as you may be helpful!. Your not alone I assure you!
I'm thinking that maybe the group therapy will be an option in a few months time after you've been attending the resource centre for a while and have 'integrated' a bit!. Keep badgering your psychiatrist about the group therapy, because this might be the next best thing to psychotherapy since you can't get this!.
Also, bear in mind you have your goals!. 31 isn't old, you have along time left to realise these goals in your life!. A lot of people have no idea what they want out of life, so your on the up already knowing what you want!.
Good luck to you, I hope you can find happiness soon Www@Answer-Health@Com
Now, I don't like to go for the 'there's always someone worse off' option, because that never really helps anyone feel better!. However, the fact that there will be a lot in the same position as you may be helpful!. Your not alone I assure you!
I'm thinking that maybe the group therapy will be an option in a few months time after you've been attending the resource centre for a while and have 'integrated' a bit!. Keep badgering your psychiatrist about the group therapy, because this might be the next best thing to psychotherapy since you can't get this!.
Also, bear in mind you have your goals!. 31 isn't old, you have along time left to realise these goals in your life!. A lot of people have no idea what they want out of life, so your on the up already knowing what you want!.
Good luck to you, I hope you can find happiness soon Www@Answer-Health@Com
I know exactly how your feeling, some people just sail through life full of happiness and fulfilment, and then there are people like us, struggle no matter which way we turn, and no one wants to give you a leg up on the ladder, they all seem to want to pull you down even further than what you are and have a jolly good laugh about it at your own expense, and sadly in the end it does make you feel bitter!
so my hun, you are so not alone with that feeling! : (Www@Answer-Health@Com
so my hun, you are so not alone with that feeling! : (Www@Answer-Health@Com
i'm so sorry you feel like you have not acheived anything so far in your 1 year old life!. one positive thing is that you have managed to abstain life skills, you live alone, injured and look after yourself!.!. isnt this an acheivement!?
I personally have suffered from depression, sevee anxiety and was told i had the traits of bpd!. I thought i was in a bubble detached from everyone and didnt want to live, when i hit rock bottom i had to make the decision to continue with my life!. and here i am nearly one year on, not on medication!.
My life has dealt some cruel cruel things and it continues to do so and like you i hate and envy those arround me who are getting on with their lives, happy and content but despite all of this i cherish this because each misgiving makes me stronger and sronger!.
you need to kick start your inner strength here!. no medication or therapist will help you, personally i thought all the therapist i saw were crap and made me feel paranoid!
i forced myself into situations that i feared and this helped me over come them!. maybe you could try this!. the more you face the fears the less fearfull they become!.
good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I personally have suffered from depression, sevee anxiety and was told i had the traits of bpd!. I thought i was in a bubble detached from everyone and didnt want to live, when i hit rock bottom i had to make the decision to continue with my life!. and here i am nearly one year on, not on medication!.
My life has dealt some cruel cruel things and it continues to do so and like you i hate and envy those arround me who are getting on with their lives, happy and content but despite all of this i cherish this because each misgiving makes me stronger and sronger!.
you need to kick start your inner strength here!. no medication or therapist will help you, personally i thought all the therapist i saw were crap and made me feel paranoid!
i forced myself into situations that i feared and this helped me over come them!. maybe you could try this!. the more you face the fears the less fearfull they become!.
good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You have had some really good answers here but as someone as already said, medication is not the answer!.
You have to find it deep inside you to face the world, maybe do some voluntary work, its just making that first step that is the hardest!.
Yeah its natural to be jealous of others happiness but use that image to aspire your soon to be happiness
Good luckWww@Answer-Health@Com
You have to find it deep inside you to face the world, maybe do some voluntary work, its just making that first step that is the hardest!.
Yeah its natural to be jealous of others happiness but use that image to aspire your soon to be happiness
Good luckWww@Answer-Health@Com