I am scared, lost and confused in this harsh life?!

I am 19 and have been house bound for 6 months!. My whole life I have been a victim of name calling and physical violence, and it was when I was at college that I had a nervous breakdown and prior to that I began to get bullied by everyone even more!. I feel sick to the stomach when I have to go outside because I am so used to people giving me repulsive looks and bullying me (no joke) it never stops and its not my fault!. I am depressed because people generally don't like me and most girls would never date me in a million years its heart breaking for me knowing this and seeing other people dating and looking so happy having it so easy!. I want to go to University but I know I won't last as I will again get bullied like always and its almost guaranteed, I most certainly wont enjoy the social events because I get severely anxious and overly paranoid!.
The fact that I am ugly makes it 10 times worse for me because even when I can manage a good personality and behave with confidence people are still repulsed by the way I look, I have also tried to improve the way I look but it is impossible, and as for dating I cant talk to girls because I am too shy, and I am too shy because too I am ugly!. I will never be able to enjoy socializing because I know I will never be good enough for a girlfriend!.
I want what I cant have (a girlfriend), if I believe I can get a girlfriend I am in denial which always brings me back to depressionWww@Answer-Health@Com

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