Im crippled with low self esteem can anyone advise?!
Question: Im crippled with low self esteem can anyone advise!?
i cant even talk to people over the internet in fear they will reject me or i put myself over as too clingy , needy, the fact i might act to eager , desperate , want intimacy right away , my low self esteem might show through , get stuck for anything to say, expect so much of them!.!.!.
ive always been this way and i dont know anyways to disguise it, i act desperate for friendship for the close intimacy of others etc!.!.
im nearly 31, endured a miserable unfair life so far, missed out on a normal life : friendships, education , employment, qualifications etc!.
have a criminal record , spent time in a mental hospital, have a psychiatric record!.
i suffer with a personality disorder ( BPD ) and ptsd traits, aggression, rage, severe low self esteem, anxietyy!.
live alone on disability , i own nothing except an old computer and the bare essentials!.
im a physical mess, have an injured ankle, torn tendons due to a sprain a year back, im out of shape and very unfit!.!.
i have 2 missing teeth, ( front bottom row ) because i headbutted a boulder wall years ago -
i have a small, average penis , about 5 inches only, with a small penis head - not large mushroom shaped!.
thers people on here, on my yahoo messenger who reach out to me, theres a russian girl i have on my messenger ive spoke to only twice , she wants to talk to me ( right now ) - but i dont even have the self esteem or belief to talk to her incase i act all desperate , clingy and needy then she rejects me!.!.
its the same with others who reach out to me!.!.!.!.!.i let them slip by because im to afraid to reach out to them, incase i show all my behaviours then ---- they REJECT me!.
im lonely , isolated in my little flat everyday, owning nothing, cooperating with the mental health services for help!.!.
how can i finally get over this fear !?
i take rejection with devastation , it makes me very angry, hurt and upset, i become aggressive with them like forcing them to accept me and i dont want to do that anymore!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
ive always been this way and i dont know anyways to disguise it, i act desperate for friendship for the close intimacy of others etc!.!.
im nearly 31, endured a miserable unfair life so far, missed out on a normal life : friendships, education , employment, qualifications etc!.
have a criminal record , spent time in a mental hospital, have a psychiatric record!.
i suffer with a personality disorder ( BPD ) and ptsd traits, aggression, rage, severe low self esteem, anxietyy!.
live alone on disability , i own nothing except an old computer and the bare essentials!.
im a physical mess, have an injured ankle, torn tendons due to a sprain a year back, im out of shape and very unfit!.!.
i have 2 missing teeth, ( front bottom row ) because i headbutted a boulder wall years ago -
i have a small, average penis , about 5 inches only, with a small penis head - not large mushroom shaped!.
thers people on here, on my yahoo messenger who reach out to me, theres a russian girl i have on my messenger ive spoke to only twice , she wants to talk to me ( right now ) - but i dont even have the self esteem or belief to talk to her incase i act all desperate , clingy and needy then she rejects me!.!.
its the same with others who reach out to me!.!.!.!.!.i let them slip by because im to afraid to reach out to them, incase i show all my behaviours then ---- they REJECT me!.
im lonely , isolated in my little flat everyday, owning nothing, cooperating with the mental health services for help!.!.
how can i finally get over this fear !?
i take rejection with devastation , it makes me very angry, hurt and upset, i become aggressive with them like forcing them to accept me and i dont want to do that anymore!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
there is nothing wrong with feeling vulnerable!.
people may have taken advantage of your vulnerability previously-the past is another Country
you need CBT/DBT ONE ON ONE URGENTLY!
This mood cycling/phase changing is way too fast,and you have improved your look no end,if only you could see the transformation
don't tell anyone you fancy how bad you feel-wait for therapy
you are a handsome male - and I'm not gay
why not practise being confident on messenger-a Russian girl(in Russia) will be happy to get a EU passport,so will be really nice whatever you say-SEND her your pic and she'll invite you to hers!.
but when feeling worn down,stay cosy
sorry if i seem abrupt,but I'm telling you the facts as i believe themWww@Answer-Health@Com
people may have taken advantage of your vulnerability previously-the past is another Country
you need CBT/DBT ONE ON ONE URGENTLY!
This mood cycling/phase changing is way too fast,and you have improved your look no end,if only you could see the transformation
don't tell anyone you fancy how bad you feel-wait for therapy
you are a handsome male - and I'm not gay
why not practise being confident on messenger-a Russian girl(in Russia) will be happy to get a EU passport,so will be really nice whatever you say-SEND her your pic and she'll invite you to hers!.
but when feeling worn down,stay cosy
sorry if i seem abrupt,but I'm telling you the facts as i believe themWww@Answer-Health@Com
I can relate to some of what your saying!. you have to push yourself to accept the help people are trying to give you!.do one thing a day to fix or better yourself!.nobody is going to do it for you!.get on the right meds!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Get your crap together!. Fix your teeth, go on a diet, think good thoughts, pray, exercise, don't take yourself too seriously!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Disability pays for psychiatrict care!. If you cannot afford the copay, ask Catholic Charities to help you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Purchase or download Anthonny Robbins audio books!. Trust me just do it!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Hello again!. Contact the russian girl NOW!. Go on xxWww@Answer-Health@Com
The more you talk to people, the better you will feel!. Do try to download the other answerer's' suggestion, and just talk to the russian gal!. She won't hurt you on the computer, and you can always block her if she does!.
I find that if I listen to something spiritual, it helps ME!. And just going outside helps-everyone has issues that they really don't care for in themselves, just keep your chin up and go from there!. Try going to a church dinner, like maybe a free community lunch!? Contact your worker at your mental health agency, they should be helping you with these things!.
Good luck!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I find that if I listen to something spiritual, it helps ME!. And just going outside helps-everyone has issues that they really don't care for in themselves, just keep your chin up and go from there!. Try going to a church dinner, like maybe a free community lunch!? Contact your worker at your mental health agency, they should be helping you with these things!.
Good luck!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I've had similar problems me entire life, and it's only through countless mistakes and endless nights of pitying myself did I realize!.!.!. I'm wasting my life!.
I found out about something VERY important! How you portray yourself is INSANELY IMPORTANT! How you look, what you say, and what you do makes a BIG deal!
I used to stare at the ground when I walk and talk, I didn't bathe regularly and I was afraid to talk to people as they might see my horrible hygiene!.!.!. But, as time passed by, I started to think about my life!.!.!. "I don't want to live like this anymore!" Is what I thought!.!.!.
What did I do!? I did massive amounts of research and observations!. I watched people interact, I compared what other people did with what I did, how they look with myself, what they said, what they do and how they act!.
And, to my surprise!.!.!. I realized that I was a bum because I made myself that way!.!.!. So what did I do!? I started trying to change! Slowly, I started bathing regularly!. I tried to groom myself as best I could, I tried to talk with groups of people that'll support me, and I practiced on anyone I felt would be nice!.
Unfortunately, you will find a lot of rejections!. But, really, why do we even give a f**k!!? We should do what makes US happy! If I wanna watch a movie, then damnit! I'm gonna watch the movie!
While I'm sure of what I want to do, I try to make sure I look approachable, and I practice with myself all the time to try to act out any situation I may be faced with!.
I also realized that, the more a person knows about you, the more you get judged!. And, when it's not very appealing, they usually do walk away from you!.!.!. So what did I do!? I STOPPED telling people those stupid things!.!.!. I didn't want to be pitied anymore!.!.!. NO, NOT ANYMORE!
After a while, nervousness and fear of rejection slowly went away after I got used to it!.!.!. And, what do you know!.!. I actually became a better person as I kept trying to change, as I kept going regardless of any obstacle!
You just gotta try, man! Work your brain and get your s**t straight!
It's your life, do you want to live that way forever!.!.!.!!? I know I didn't, and it was pretty damn hard, but I'm HELLA glad I did :)!.
You gotta better yourself in order to love yourself!. So, get off your a** and do some good!
Take it from another person that's been in your shoes!. I assure you, life's a hella lot better for me now than back then :)!.
EDIT: I forgot to add, I just turned 20 :)!. But the thing is, ever since I can remember, I've had problems with my bones and health!.!. I've been getting migraines at the age of 5, and I'm slowly getting crippled, due to my weak joints I've suffered my entire life!.
My body's been through hell as I'm a survivor of child abuse, of skull damage, of accidents that's left me forever limited, and of an car accident that's left me with permanent whiplash, upper body pain, and black-outs!.
Dude, you're not alone!. I feel you, and I hope I can inspire you to take charge of your life, just as I have!
Iife's been unfair to me, too!. But complaining about didn't get me anywhere!.!.! Though, I try to look at the bright side, and I consider the wonderful things that I DO have, like my sight, my taste, my sense of smell, the ability to laugh, and knowing that I can change myself if I put my all into it!
So take charge of your life! You're not alone, my friend :)!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I found out about something VERY important! How you portray yourself is INSANELY IMPORTANT! How you look, what you say, and what you do makes a BIG deal!
I used to stare at the ground when I walk and talk, I didn't bathe regularly and I was afraid to talk to people as they might see my horrible hygiene!.!.!. But, as time passed by, I started to think about my life!.!.!. "I don't want to live like this anymore!" Is what I thought!.!.!.
What did I do!? I did massive amounts of research and observations!. I watched people interact, I compared what other people did with what I did, how they look with myself, what they said, what they do and how they act!.
And, to my surprise!.!.!. I realized that I was a bum because I made myself that way!.!.!. So what did I do!? I started trying to change! Slowly, I started bathing regularly!. I tried to groom myself as best I could, I tried to talk with groups of people that'll support me, and I practiced on anyone I felt would be nice!.
Unfortunately, you will find a lot of rejections!. But, really, why do we even give a f**k!!? We should do what makes US happy! If I wanna watch a movie, then damnit! I'm gonna watch the movie!
While I'm sure of what I want to do, I try to make sure I look approachable, and I practice with myself all the time to try to act out any situation I may be faced with!.
I also realized that, the more a person knows about you, the more you get judged!. And, when it's not very appealing, they usually do walk away from you!.!.!. So what did I do!? I STOPPED telling people those stupid things!.!.!. I didn't want to be pitied anymore!.!.!. NO, NOT ANYMORE!
After a while, nervousness and fear of rejection slowly went away after I got used to it!.!.!. And, what do you know!.!. I actually became a better person as I kept trying to change, as I kept going regardless of any obstacle!
You just gotta try, man! Work your brain and get your s**t straight!
It's your life, do you want to live that way forever!.!.!.!!? I know I didn't, and it was pretty damn hard, but I'm HELLA glad I did :)!.
You gotta better yourself in order to love yourself!. So, get off your a** and do some good!
Take it from another person that's been in your shoes!. I assure you, life's a hella lot better for me now than back then :)!.
EDIT: I forgot to add, I just turned 20 :)!. But the thing is, ever since I can remember, I've had problems with my bones and health!.!. I've been getting migraines at the age of 5, and I'm slowly getting crippled, due to my weak joints I've suffered my entire life!.
My body's been through hell as I'm a survivor of child abuse, of skull damage, of accidents that's left me forever limited, and of an car accident that's left me with permanent whiplash, upper body pain, and black-outs!.
Dude, you're not alone!. I feel you, and I hope I can inspire you to take charge of your life, just as I have!
Iife's been unfair to me, too!. But complaining about didn't get me anywhere!.!.! Though, I try to look at the bright side, and I consider the wonderful things that I DO have, like my sight, my taste, my sense of smell, the ability to laugh, and knowing that I can change myself if I put my all into it!
So take charge of your life! You're not alone, my friend :)!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Have a normal conversation with the girl about anything and everything, directing away from yourself and when she does answer say the truth on how you feel!. As a first step, go on some chat sites and talk about different topics - music, television - anything!. Then, after building up your self esteem further, go out and meet some new people!.
(:Www@Answer-Health@Com
(:Www@Answer-Health@Com
You have not brushed the subject of spirituality in your post!. Perhaps this will be your flower from the mud!? When peace becomes your priority then the problems in your life will start to undo themselves!. By putting the focus on your problems and especially by judging them you give them a lot of power!.
If you put your time into researching spirituality rather than dwelling on your problems perhaps you will find that there is more than this world!. There are many chat groups and many places to start interacting with people on this subject!.
You have noticed that you follow a very predictable behaviour pattern when it comes to interacting with people!. Its like a program!. Your mental program can easily be changed with practice!. NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) would be a good place to start!. This site has some very experienced people who can help you:
http://www!.hypnosisforum!.com/
You might feel terrible but this is the beginning of your great journey! Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
If you put your time into researching spirituality rather than dwelling on your problems perhaps you will find that there is more than this world!. There are many chat groups and many places to start interacting with people on this subject!.
You have noticed that you follow a very predictable behaviour pattern when it comes to interacting with people!. Its like a program!. Your mental program can easily be changed with practice!. NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) would be a good place to start!. This site has some very experienced people who can help you:
http://www!.hypnosisforum!.com/
You might feel terrible but this is the beginning of your great journey! Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Just make sure you dont talk about how bad do you feel everytime you have conversation with her!. Talk about yourself a little is enough, too much with it can cause other person feel uneasy!.
Its like this: So when you tell her, you are having trouble communicating with society, you dont have a job and etc!.!.!.!. in the end, she probably will feel like, "what else he hasnt told me about himself, maybe he is hiding something" yeah you are right people could start feeling inferior so you got to limit it!. Try to find and think something the social public would enjoy to listen to and used it as part of your conversation!. If you do alright with her, at least your social engine has started!. :)
Good luck budy
- KRWww@Answer-Health@Com
Its like this: So when you tell her, you are having trouble communicating with society, you dont have a job and etc!.!.!.!. in the end, she probably will feel like, "what else he hasnt told me about himself, maybe he is hiding something" yeah you are right people could start feeling inferior so you got to limit it!. Try to find and think something the social public would enjoy to listen to and used it as part of your conversation!. If you do alright with her, at least your social engine has started!. :)
Good luck budy
- KRWww@Answer-Health@Com
All I can say is rejection happens to all of us at some time in our life, the ways we deal with it dictate if we can move on and recover!. You should take a shot at this, talk to this girl, perhaps confide in her (if it builds into something serious) that you have low self-confidence and if she does not like what you are, then she doesn't care about YOU!.
I don't know how to fix your life, hell I wouldn't want to be in your situation, but if women only care about your appearance/size/wallet than trust me, they are not worth it!.
Sometimes we have to shoot at a target, even if we are going to miss!. Just relax, and take it easy and you never know what the future might bring!. There is a saying that struggle strengthens and empowers us!.
Easy for me to say I know, but if you truly want to improve your life, you need to believe that you have the power to do something about it!. I wish you all the best, brother!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I don't know how to fix your life, hell I wouldn't want to be in your situation, but if women only care about your appearance/size/wallet than trust me, they are not worth it!.
Sometimes we have to shoot at a target, even if we are going to miss!. Just relax, and take it easy and you never know what the future might bring!. There is a saying that struggle strengthens and empowers us!.
Easy for me to say I know, but if you truly want to improve your life, you need to believe that you have the power to do something about it!. I wish you all the best, brother!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Society will be less accepting of you because the government have labelled you and have also labelled society into believing that you are of low social status!. That is their weakness!. You must pity them!.!
Not the other way round as people behave badly for a reason!. The only peron you will be accountable to is God for your bad behaviour!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com
Not the other way round as people behave badly for a reason!. The only peron you will be accountable to is God for your bad behaviour!.
Www@Answer-Health@Com