Keep having these thoughts...help appreciated!?!


Question: Keep having these thoughts!.!.!.help appreciated!!?
I have had a pretty rough childhood and had to move out at a young age and fend for myself!. For a really long time everyone (including myself) thought i was very strong and capable of doing anything!. Problem is lately i have been feeling like i am the worst person on the planet, and that everyone who hangs out with me is just doing it out of the goodness of their heart!. When someone doesn't call me i immediately assume they hate me and that i have done something stupid!. After having conversations with my friends i play those conversations over in my head for hours to see if i have done/said something stupid!. It feels like i am constantly fighting myself inside to bring out who i really am, and even then i cannot be myself 100% out of fear of ridicule (which i guess is the best word to describe what i fear)

It's not something i can help ,and i realize it's absolutely ridiculous, and sometimes i feel great! But then comes other times (especially near those times of the month for girls) where i could just lock myself in my room and never come out because i think i am just annoying, boring, ugly!.!.!.whatever!.

I am sick of bringing myself down because it's effecting my work, school, love-life, friendships!.!.!.!.i am just wondering if it can be a chemical imbalance since it is worse during my period time and also that i know it's stupid and wrong and cannot seem to help it!.

If anyone knows of any disorder that might sound like it, it would be really appreciated!. I am thinking of going to see a therapist because it seems i cannot stand under the pressure of fighting this day and night, but i do not want to go down that road if there's something i can do myself to fix things!

Thanx a lot in advance!Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
my goodness I do empathise with you - this could be my story except I have hot flushes now instead!.

Yes do see a counsellor but make sure that you feel okay with them that they have done this sort of work before and that they are strong enough!.
Its seriously okay for you to interview a counsellor /therapist!.

Because you have issues around putting yourself down I would also be careful what style of therapist you see - someone whose aim is to support you to empower yourself rather than control you!.

It is hard work but very fruitful and I think you will enjoy it!.

The strength is always there but I think that those of us who had difficult childhoods find it hard to admit vulnerability or to know where the 'norms' lie!.

Getting a reality check from someone else is a really good idea!.

I dont know if it is a disorder but I do know that a lot of my friends have been neglected /abused emotionally physically sexually and this sort of damage to the persona and psyche is normal for us, and no wonder!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

It sounds like you could be having really bad PMS, especially if you feel that way at certain times of the month!. Www@Answer-Health@Com

P!.M!.S!. appears to be playing a part in this; see section 19, at ezy build, below!. A previous answer follows: Regularly monitor your internal monologue (self talk): write down the negative ones: "I'm really ugly" and then the converse: "I'm fairly good looking", and next time you become aware that you are thinking the former, visualise, as vividly as possible, a big "STOP!!!" sign, and/or a stern faced person waggling a finger at you, and deliberately repeat 5 times, either aloud, in a big voice, if alone, or subvocally (to yourself, in your mind), the converse affirmation!. Habits take about 30 - 40 repetitions to become established, with most people!.

Cease comparing yourself unfavorably with others, using the STOP sign: "I am a unique individual, with potential, and my own set of skills"!. Keep your head up, and look people in the eye, or on the bridge of their nose!. See self esteem/confidence, in section 38, at http://www!.ezy-build!.net!.nz/~shaneris and consider volunteering, even from home, at first!. It will also provide a solid basis in reality for the daily affirmations: "I am a good person, who is valued by my community, because I !.!.(insert activity here)!.!." Section 47 also refers!. On volunteering outside the home, you will come into contact with supportive people, and receive positive feedback for your efforts, which will be obviously appreciated: there are many options; one is sure to suit you!. Practise one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed!. Also, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you!.

Section 53, and pages 2, 2!.q and 2!.o at ezy-build also refer!. "Even though I sometimes have low self esteem/confidence, I deeply and completely accept myself"!. Read: "Lift your mood now!." by John D Preston, Psy!.D!. 2001, New Harbinger Publications, Inc!., 5674 Shattuck Avenue, Oakland!. CA 94609 http://www!.amazon!.com/ may be worth trying for this, as it has a good section on building self esteem, using a different approach!.

Build up your self-esteem!. You must take an inventory!. What do you want to improve or change about the way you interact with others!? Try to make only one change at a time!. Always check you progress before making another change!. Celebrate your journey, not your destination!. Learn to always feel good about where you are now, and to exude self-confidence about anywhere you might find yourself tomorrow!. Set clear goals for yourself before every interaction!. Know what you want!. Think about how the people you will be meeting can help you reach those goals!. Then decide how to approach each person accordingly!. Apply this regularly and you will notice a difference!.

Be proactive!. Take the initiative!. Be decisive!. Let the other person know exactly how he or she can help you!. Proactive people tend to be more successful in their career!. Treat each person you meet as if she or he is truly important!. (You'll be amazed how this works!.) Give a firm handshake; look the other person straight in the eye!. Practice both of these!. Your handshake should be just right!. Not too firm and not too loose!. Train yourself to notice something you like or find attractive in the person!. Listen! Listen! Listen! Teach yourself to develop good listening skills!. Learn a way to remember the other person's name!. If in doubt simply ask for the name again 2 or 3 sentences into the conversation!.Here is an exercise that can help you!. It is called "Act as If!." When you are in a social situation, act as if you are confident, and outgoing!. Talk more, smile at everyone, ask questions, speak in a normal or excited tone, not a meek tone!. Watch some of your outgoing peers, and imitate the style of their social behavior!.

Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior!. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence!. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit!. Like yourself: The first step in becoming more confident is to accept and like yourself!. You should make a list of all your positive traits and strengths on a piece of paper or in your diary!. By doing this, you are reminding yourself that you too have praise-worthy qualities like others!. You will like yourself and feel confident about yourself after this!. Www@Answer-Health@Com

It's good you recognize that what you are experiencing is not right and that you want to feel better!. There could be things going on in your life that are triggering you to feel bad!. If you can, avoid things that make you feel bad and look for things that make you feel good!. If you rely on friends to be your one source of feeling good then you may never really feel good because friends are unpredictable and they themselves have their own problems!. I'm talking about things you can do on your own that really strengthen your like for who you are!. Study hard for an exam and get a good grade, that will really make you feel good!.!. Volunteer once in a while!. Read a book or go for a jog!. Get a good job and earn your own money!.

Friends come and go, and in the end the only person that is there for you is yourself!. Take care of yourself!. If you do this, people will naturally want to be around you!. Www@Answer-Health@Com





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