Why pull back when dealing with a chronic illness?!


Question: Why pull back when dealing with a chronic illness!?
One of your friends has a chronic illness (asthma) that affects her from time to time!. She gets sick a lot, sometimes has to use a breathing machine or go to the hospital!. You check up on her frequently, but on a few occasions, she says that she feels bad about worrying you!. She keeps to herself mostly, especially when she gets sick, and her shy side comes out a lot when discussing her illness!.

Why do you think she pulls back a lot!? Is this a good thing or a bad thing!? What would u think!?Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
You sound like a very good friend!. She is very fortunate to have you!. Especially that you are trying to understand what she is going through!.

I have a chronic illness myself!. I've had it for 20 years!. I look okay on the outside, so people find it exceptionally difficult to understand or even try to understand!.

It is very common to withdraw into your illness, as a form of depression is often accompanied with having an illness you feel you have no control over!.

That shy part of her is most likely, depression and a feeling that other people don't or don't want to understand what they are going through!.

Part of my family still doesn't believe how ill I have been and even just recently called me 'lazy' and to 'get off my a--s'!. Gee!.!.!.that feels really great! Not!.

It is not a good thing for her to withdraw!.!.!.however, it is just a way that people with chronic illness, whether it be pain, or illness, or depression!.!.!.do, in self-preservation and they feel like they can't live like 'normal people' do!.!.!.which is sad!.!.!.because there is no such thing as 'normal'!.

There really is nothing that you can do!.!.!.except offer your friendship, send her little email cards or even just flat out talk to her about how you notice she withdraws when she is going through a tough time and that you don't care how bad it is!.!.!.that you want to be her support!.!.good times and bad!. Just her knowing that!.!.!.may allow her to at least talk to you on the phone and open up about how she is feeling!.

It would do her well to seek a group with people who suffer with the same thing, but unfortunately, that rarely happens!. It's not personal!.!.that is the thing for you to remember!. Sometimes, it's just the only way they (we) know how to deal with things until we feel better!.

The one thing that took me a very long time to understand was!.!.the more I withdrew, the harder it was to emerge!. I based everything on how I was 'feeling'!. BUT!.!.!.I have since discovered that if I make tiny comittments and then stick to them, no matter how I am 'feeling', I almost always end up feeling better in the end!. You might share that with her!.

Either way!.!.!.just let her know you are there for her!.!.and I hope this helps you understand why she is doing it!.

Cheers to you for being so compassionate!Www@Answer-Health@Com

Well, her explanation is a good one- I'm sure she doesn't want people to worry about her or pity her, or feel she's a burden!. She might also down play the illness because she doesn't want it to define her- ie Jenny the asthmatic!. Or she could possibly even get a bit depressed at times, and pull back because she's feeling discouraged!. You sound like a caring friend to be concerned with what she's going through!.Www@Answer-Health@Com





The consumer health information on answer-health.com is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007-2011 answer-health.com -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Categories