I think my girlfriend is bipolar, she cuts herself and says it's because of !
Question: I think my girlfriend is bipolar, she cuts herself and says it's because of me!. Please help!.!?
My girlfriend is 16 and i just turned 18, we both live in Ohio but she's a model so she travels a lot!. She's been in Italy with her mom for almost a month and our relationship has been suffering ever since she left!. She's taken several trips for her modeling, most of them have been around a month so this is nothing new!.
Ever since she left this time we have fought almost every other night, and over extremely trivial things!. At first I fought back, but for the past two weeks I haven't because I realized that there has been a pattern to our fighting!. She starts fights over something as simple as getting a text from one of my friends, and sometimes we fight about things that she thinks I've lied about but have never actually happened!. It's so crazy because she will be in the best mood and we will both be having so much fun just talking on video chat and then I will say something that gets her so upset!. Like today I told her I was going to my moms house because it was her birthday, but she wasn't home so I went to her house to do her laundry so she wouldn't have to do it when she was home!. I got online while it was in the drier and she accused my of lying about doing the laundry and told me she hated me and didn't want to see me when she got home!.
For the past two weeks everytime we've fought I haven't fought back because I haven't had a reason to!. I just try to calm her down and make her understand that the reason she's fighting is so dumb and not worth fighting over, and every single time, she admits that shes wrong but instead of apologizing she just invents a new reason to be mad!. She says and calls me terrible vulgar things and I tell her she's being crazy which sets her off even more!.
She recently started cutting herself about a week and a half ago, which was so so so very unexpected!. She tells me that it's because of me, because I hurt her and I'm a bad boyfriend!. I try so hard not to be though and I don't think I am!. I talk to her online an average of 5 hours a day, many times more!. I e-mail her, facebook her, I write and record songs for her on my guitar!.
I honestly feel that I devote way too much time to her!. I feel like we depend on each other way too much!. If I don't talk to her for a day (which I don't think has ever happened in the year that we've been dating) I'm in trouble!. Even if it's to visit family or go to school!. I been having so much trouble finding work for the past month because I talk to her everyday on video chat anytime from 12 PM - 9 PM
I just feel like she has completely lost her mind!. I love her so much and I would never leave her!. She is my life and my heart and everything I love about the world!. I really think she needs help though and I don't know how to tell her without causing more of a problem!. She's hurting herself and she hurting me and she's blaming me for both when I'm doing nothing but trying to fix things!. I really don't know what to do and I would really appreciate any input!. Thank youWww@Answer-Health@Com
Ever since she left this time we have fought almost every other night, and over extremely trivial things!. At first I fought back, but for the past two weeks I haven't because I realized that there has been a pattern to our fighting!. She starts fights over something as simple as getting a text from one of my friends, and sometimes we fight about things that she thinks I've lied about but have never actually happened!. It's so crazy because she will be in the best mood and we will both be having so much fun just talking on video chat and then I will say something that gets her so upset!. Like today I told her I was going to my moms house because it was her birthday, but she wasn't home so I went to her house to do her laundry so she wouldn't have to do it when she was home!. I got online while it was in the drier and she accused my of lying about doing the laundry and told me she hated me and didn't want to see me when she got home!.
For the past two weeks everytime we've fought I haven't fought back because I haven't had a reason to!. I just try to calm her down and make her understand that the reason she's fighting is so dumb and not worth fighting over, and every single time, she admits that shes wrong but instead of apologizing she just invents a new reason to be mad!. She says and calls me terrible vulgar things and I tell her she's being crazy which sets her off even more!.
She recently started cutting herself about a week and a half ago, which was so so so very unexpected!. She tells me that it's because of me, because I hurt her and I'm a bad boyfriend!. I try so hard not to be though and I don't think I am!. I talk to her online an average of 5 hours a day, many times more!. I e-mail her, facebook her, I write and record songs for her on my guitar!.
I honestly feel that I devote way too much time to her!. I feel like we depend on each other way too much!. If I don't talk to her for a day (which I don't think has ever happened in the year that we've been dating) I'm in trouble!. Even if it's to visit family or go to school!. I been having so much trouble finding work for the past month because I talk to her everyday on video chat anytime from 12 PM - 9 PM
I just feel like she has completely lost her mind!. I love her so much and I would never leave her!. She is my life and my heart and everything I love about the world!. I really think she needs help though and I don't know how to tell her without causing more of a problem!. She's hurting herself and she hurting me and she's blaming me for both when I'm doing nothing but trying to fix things!. I really don't know what to do and I would really appreciate any input!. Thank youWww@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
I think you already know that you are in over your head!. She is sick and she needs help, but you are not a psychiatrist!. There is nothing you can do to help her except to be totally honest and tell her what you just told us!.
None of this is your fault!. She is trying to control you!. Don't listen to what she says - look at the results she's getting!. You do exactly what she wants you to do!. Not visiting your family isolates you and makes you weak!. That works for her!. She's terribly insecure and there's no amount of compliance on your part that will make her feel secure!. The more you give of yourself, the more she will want!.
I'm sorry to hear you say that you would never leave her because she is going to drag you down with her!. She's sick and you are the "enabler" that lets her act this way!.
If you really want to help her, tell her that her actions aren't normal and that she is putting an undue amount of pressure on you!. Tell her that it's not fun anymore and that if she doesn't get some help within 2 months, you're going to end the relationship for your own good!. Be firm and follow through!. Your health and well-being is important!. Your family must be beside themselves with worry!. I'm beginning to think that perhaps you need counseling, too!. When you say you would never leave her - that's a sign that you need help!. There has to be a point at which you would take care of yourself - because she is trying really hard to drag you into her unhappiness!.
See a counselor!. You're in trouble!. Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
None of this is your fault!. She is trying to control you!. Don't listen to what she says - look at the results she's getting!. You do exactly what she wants you to do!. Not visiting your family isolates you and makes you weak!. That works for her!. She's terribly insecure and there's no amount of compliance on your part that will make her feel secure!. The more you give of yourself, the more she will want!.
I'm sorry to hear you say that you would never leave her because she is going to drag you down with her!. She's sick and you are the "enabler" that lets her act this way!.
If you really want to help her, tell her that her actions aren't normal and that she is putting an undue amount of pressure on you!. Tell her that it's not fun anymore and that if she doesn't get some help within 2 months, you're going to end the relationship for your own good!. Be firm and follow through!. Your health and well-being is important!. Your family must be beside themselves with worry!. I'm beginning to think that perhaps you need counseling, too!. When you say you would never leave her - that's a sign that you need help!. There has to be a point at which you would take care of yourself - because she is trying really hard to drag you into her unhappiness!.
See a counselor!. You're in trouble!. Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
dude she dosent have bipolar ,shes an emo idiot!!!!!!!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I have a niece about your age, and she is always blaming others for her problems!. From her sister,mom,dad etc!. It is a medical condition a now her folk in a private facility in Idaho they have even sent her to like 4 places and they always find others who have the same problems only to have others there sharing ways to blame and still cut themselves - It is the hardest condition to break, do not let this get you down!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.you are not to be blamed!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
This is a toxic relationship for both of you!. You can't everything and it's not your fault if she's cutting!. She really needs to talk to someone!. Who needs a relationship with constant fighting!. It's even keeping you from doing what you need to do to find a job!. You need to meet your own needs before you can branch out and help someone else!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
The first thing you need to understand is you are NOT the cause; people with mental disorders have a need to blame others for their misery!. You have to realize she's only 16 living an adult life of modeling and traveling which can be VERY exhausting plus a relationship abroad going sour; this is too much to juggle for 16 y/old!. You need to involve her mother and inform her of the cutting this may be due to her bottled up emotions (sometimes drug abuse) and this is the only way to "relieve" them!. Good luck!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I didn't read everything but one thing stood out and that's the simply fact that she cuts her self and blames you!.!.!.!.!. you can help her and yourself by seeking mental health services!.!.!.!. i would look something up in your area some places you dont have to pay much because its based on your income trust me i know because i work for one
the age difference is not a big dealWww@Answer-Health@Com
the age difference is not a big dealWww@Answer-Health@Com
It doesn't sound like she is bipolar at all actually!. It sounds more like she has borderline personality disorder which is way more difficult to diagnose and treat!. I am the same way with my boyfriend and its because I have bpd!. It is treatable with therapy and medication!. Search borderline personality disorder (bpd) and you will find alot of information on it and will see that she has some of the symptoms!. The major symptom is a feeling of abandonment and feeling like someone is going to leave her!. Thats why she fights!. She doesn't cut herself because of you, she cuts herself because she can't express how she is feeling and when someone cuts themselves it takes the pain away from something they are feeling and put it somewhere else!. Depression cells are found in your blood and when you cut yourself you release these cells and you feel better at least for alittle bit!. She isnt' cutting to kill herself, she is cutting because it is her way of coping!. I hope some of this helps!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You are right!. She HAS lost her mind, but believe me it's got nothing to do with you!.
It's just that people like her like to put all their eggs in one basket!. She expects you to be her savior!. She's conjured up this image of who you MUST be in order for her to keep her sanity together!.
You should not put up with that!. Sick minds like hers will play mind games which will screw you up too!.
My daughter's girlfriend sounds JUST LIKE HER!. She did the same thing to her boyfriend, then for all the FUSS she made, being so clingy and all, she had a new guy within 24 hours and I'm not kidding you!.
So whatever pressures your girlfriend is facing, it's because of her modelling, and just the type of person she is!.
There is NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING that you can do for her!. She will take you down with her!.
I would at the very least tell her mother that her daughter has serious problems and not to overlook it because she could one day become suicidal!. She needs help!.
You on the other hand, unless you want to make a martyr of yourself for your girlfriend, don't owe her anything except to tell her to get her head on straight!.
It's sad really, but this kid at 16 has taken on much more than she is emotionally able to handle!. That is way too young to have a boyfriend, a career, and expect to be able to handle it all!.
She needs counselling!. She is never going to give up her career, and unless you want a lifetime of being jerked around, I suggest you find someone whose feet are a little closer to the ground and whose head is squarely on their shoulders!.
Jane: As always you are spot on! I like what you said about her making him feel weak to control him!.!.!.!.bingo! I watched my daughter's friends' relationship fall apart!. He was actually bipolar and she was just like that girl jerking him around!. When they split my daughter was a good friend to that guy and helped him see it was not him but her and he's been able to move on but is left very hurt and unsure of himself thanks to her!. She always made him feel controlled!.
Unless you guys want to spend a lifetime waiting for someone like that to change!.!.!.you best move on and find a healthy relationship cause honestly LIFE IS TOO SHORT!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It's just that people like her like to put all their eggs in one basket!. She expects you to be her savior!. She's conjured up this image of who you MUST be in order for her to keep her sanity together!.
You should not put up with that!. Sick minds like hers will play mind games which will screw you up too!.
My daughter's girlfriend sounds JUST LIKE HER!. She did the same thing to her boyfriend, then for all the FUSS she made, being so clingy and all, she had a new guy within 24 hours and I'm not kidding you!.
So whatever pressures your girlfriend is facing, it's because of her modelling, and just the type of person she is!.
There is NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING that you can do for her!. She will take you down with her!.
I would at the very least tell her mother that her daughter has serious problems and not to overlook it because she could one day become suicidal!. She needs help!.
You on the other hand, unless you want to make a martyr of yourself for your girlfriend, don't owe her anything except to tell her to get her head on straight!.
It's sad really, but this kid at 16 has taken on much more than she is emotionally able to handle!. That is way too young to have a boyfriend, a career, and expect to be able to handle it all!.
She needs counselling!. She is never going to give up her career, and unless you want a lifetime of being jerked around, I suggest you find someone whose feet are a little closer to the ground and whose head is squarely on their shoulders!.
Jane: As always you are spot on! I like what you said about her making him feel weak to control him!.!.!.!.bingo! I watched my daughter's friends' relationship fall apart!. He was actually bipolar and she was just like that girl jerking him around!. When they split my daughter was a good friend to that guy and helped him see it was not him but her and he's been able to move on but is left very hurt and unsure of himself thanks to her!. She always made him feel controlled!.
Unless you guys want to spend a lifetime waiting for someone like that to change!.!.!.you best move on and find a healthy relationship cause honestly LIFE IS TOO SHORT!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I really think I can kinda relate!. I'm 18 dating a 22y/o and when I was 16 I was dating a 22 y/o and thought I was going crazy!. I think its a combo of insecurity and needing attention!. She needs reassurance every once and awhile!. Plain and simple, not pertaining to anything specifically!. Just out of no where make her feel like she is all that you want and you want her to be happy!.
Her cutting, that's just past built up and you being older is a new emotion and love to her!. She dosent know how to cope; teach her!. Kiss her and reassure!. Reassurance takes awhile for most, but its the best way to damage an insecure partner!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Her cutting, that's just past built up and you being older is a new emotion and love to her!. She dosent know how to cope; teach her!. Kiss her and reassure!. Reassurance takes awhile for most, but its the best way to damage an insecure partner!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It sounds like there are several things going on here!. She is probably insecure about her looks, modeling and your age difference (thinking you are experienced, what are you doing with her!?)!. The high pressure world of modeling can bring out mental issues, such as body dismorphic disorder, eating disorders and self injury!. Many times self injury goes hand and hand with eating disorders!. Her not having any control over what is going on in her life can trigger all of this!. Many people make the (incorrect) assumption that eating disorders and self injury are about not wanting to be fat and liking pain!. It is usually mostly about control!. And a 16 year old model has no control in her life!. She could also be extending all of that to trying to control you also!. Do some more research and tread lightly!. If you are too aggressive with her, it may freak her out!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I am not reading all of that WHEN you are dating a 16 year old yet you are 18!.!.!. a big no no!.Www@Answer-Health@Com