Does this sound like a good apology?!
Question: Does this sound like a good apology!?
Hi Jill - hope this is the right email!.!. if not, completely disregard everything here, please and thank you!.
This message is hasty, but if I don't do it now I don't know when I ever will!. I've been contemplating writing you for months now!. I keep waiting for some light to shine and tell me it's the right moment but I don't think that is how it works!. Jill, I owe you so much, more than I'll ever have, but I'm going to begin with a long overdue apology!. You and your girls me the world to me!. There hasn't been day you haven't crossed my mind!. It kills me to remember, I just want to forget all the stupid and hurtful things I said and did so badly, but they won't leave me alone!. This summer I was going through a difficult time and I didn't know how to deal with my problems properly!. I know that is no excuse for the way I treated you but I hope in time that you can forgive me!. You are such an amazing person and it is an honour to have you in my family!. I can only hope that some day I can have the privilege again of being in your life!. I'm sorry!.
I truly am sorry!.
all my love,
bb
how can i fix it!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
This message is hasty, but if I don't do it now I don't know when I ever will!. I've been contemplating writing you for months now!. I keep waiting for some light to shine and tell me it's the right moment but I don't think that is how it works!. Jill, I owe you so much, more than I'll ever have, but I'm going to begin with a long overdue apology!. You and your girls me the world to me!. There hasn't been day you haven't crossed my mind!. It kills me to remember, I just want to forget all the stupid and hurtful things I said and did so badly, but they won't leave me alone!. This summer I was going through a difficult time and I didn't know how to deal with my problems properly!. I know that is no excuse for the way I treated you but I hope in time that you can forgive me!. You are such an amazing person and it is an honour to have you in my family!. I can only hope that some day I can have the privilege again of being in your life!. I'm sorry!.
I truly am sorry!.
all my love,
bb
how can i fix it!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Barbie,
That is an absolutely perfect apology!.
It is so wonderful because it is so sincere!.
I think that you have been thinking about this for so long that it has built up in your mind into something bigger than it has to be, but your apology gets across your sincere desire to do the right thing!.
It's wonderful!.
The only thing I would change is that when you say "all the stupid and hurtful things I said and did", you may leave her saying 'What things!?' She may barely remember it all by now!. It might not even have bothered her at the time!.
You have built it up into a big national scandal, when it wasn't!.
I would make it sound less dire by taking out the word 'all'!. And maybe even taking out 'and I did'!.
The point is not to have her sitting there trying to figure out what you might have done that upsets you so much, but rather to focus on your desire to apologize now and to be friends from now on!.
This is really just the start of the conversation!. Hopefully, you can summon the courage keep talking to her by e-mail until you feel better!. Or, even better, to talk on the phone!.
What surprising is that, in situations like this, the hardest part is not the apologizing, but rather getting the other person to understand what it is you're talking about!.
I think what's really going on is that you are full of emotion about life itself, about everything you've experienced so far!. You want to repair relationships and to rebuild them and strengthen them, in part because you feel unhappy about your relationship with your father!.
You want to be connected to people in good ways!.
Remember, though, that you can't control the universe!. There is no way to get Jill to react in exactly the way you want her to react!. It's always going to be a surprise!. Her reaction will almost certainly be either slightly different or completely different from the reaction you expect!.
Why!?
Just because you and she haven't been talking every week!. Her life is full of all kinds of things and they are going to be what shapes her mood, more than your beautiful letter will!.
I think we all want to have good friendships!. And we all need wise people who can give us advice once in a while, and the wise people who know us very well will have an easier time giving advice that will work for us!.
But friendship is something that no one has any control over!. You can't pick one person and say, 'I want -that- person to be my best friend forever, forever!.' They may be busy with other things!.
What you CAN do is develop an open-minded attitude and be aware and open to the people around you!. And then friendships just happen!.
In other words, you can't magically fix any one relationship no matter how much of your heart and soul you pour into fixing it !. !. !.
but you can have plenty of good friendships everywhere you go!.
Treat everybody right and then keep track of the list of all the people who treat you right in response!.
You are good!. You deserve to have good people as friends!.
Your job is to care about Jill and you already do that! You care so much that your guilt about some small argument is giving you a nervous breakdown!
Relax!.
Be good to Jill!. And be good to everyone around you!. Be good to everyone!. And you'll feel good about yourself!.
By the way, never let other people's MIStreatment of you ever make you feel bad about yourself!. If someone at school mistreats you, that makes THEM look bad, not you!. The world really is full of all kinds of people!. BELIEVE me!. If you bump into a jerk someday, and he acts like a jerk, that makes -him- a jerk, not you!. For some reason, that's one of the hardest lessons for people to learn!. Somehow our parents teach us when we're four that when they yell at us we are doing something wrong!. And then we spend the rest of our lives thinking that if ANYBODY yells at us, then we are doing something wrong!.
If some guy yells at you, then HE'S doing something wrong!.
I give advice like this, and it's really common sense!. You will live happily ever after, when you are able to say things like this to -yourself-!. Be your own best friend!. Whenever someone says or does anything hurtful, be there right beside yourself, telling yourself the kinds of things that a wise best friend will say!.
By the way, people do change their e-mail address sometimes!. Call her to find out which address you should send it to!. That will alert her to check her mail!. I have accounts I haven't checked in months!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
That is an absolutely perfect apology!.
It is so wonderful because it is so sincere!.
I think that you have been thinking about this for so long that it has built up in your mind into something bigger than it has to be, but your apology gets across your sincere desire to do the right thing!.
It's wonderful!.
The only thing I would change is that when you say "all the stupid and hurtful things I said and did", you may leave her saying 'What things!?' She may barely remember it all by now!. It might not even have bothered her at the time!.
You have built it up into a big national scandal, when it wasn't!.
I would make it sound less dire by taking out the word 'all'!. And maybe even taking out 'and I did'!.
The point is not to have her sitting there trying to figure out what you might have done that upsets you so much, but rather to focus on your desire to apologize now and to be friends from now on!.
This is really just the start of the conversation!. Hopefully, you can summon the courage keep talking to her by e-mail until you feel better!. Or, even better, to talk on the phone!.
What surprising is that, in situations like this, the hardest part is not the apologizing, but rather getting the other person to understand what it is you're talking about!.
I think what's really going on is that you are full of emotion about life itself, about everything you've experienced so far!. You want to repair relationships and to rebuild them and strengthen them, in part because you feel unhappy about your relationship with your father!.
You want to be connected to people in good ways!.
Remember, though, that you can't control the universe!. There is no way to get Jill to react in exactly the way you want her to react!. It's always going to be a surprise!. Her reaction will almost certainly be either slightly different or completely different from the reaction you expect!.
Why!?
Just because you and she haven't been talking every week!. Her life is full of all kinds of things and they are going to be what shapes her mood, more than your beautiful letter will!.
I think we all want to have good friendships!. And we all need wise people who can give us advice once in a while, and the wise people who know us very well will have an easier time giving advice that will work for us!.
But friendship is something that no one has any control over!. You can't pick one person and say, 'I want -that- person to be my best friend forever, forever!.' They may be busy with other things!.
What you CAN do is develop an open-minded attitude and be aware and open to the people around you!. And then friendships just happen!.
In other words, you can't magically fix any one relationship no matter how much of your heart and soul you pour into fixing it !. !. !.
but you can have plenty of good friendships everywhere you go!.
Treat everybody right and then keep track of the list of all the people who treat you right in response!.
You are good!. You deserve to have good people as friends!.
Your job is to care about Jill and you already do that! You care so much that your guilt about some small argument is giving you a nervous breakdown!
Relax!.
Be good to Jill!. And be good to everyone around you!. Be good to everyone!. And you'll feel good about yourself!.
By the way, never let other people's MIStreatment of you ever make you feel bad about yourself!. If someone at school mistreats you, that makes THEM look bad, not you!. The world really is full of all kinds of people!. BELIEVE me!. If you bump into a jerk someday, and he acts like a jerk, that makes -him- a jerk, not you!. For some reason, that's one of the hardest lessons for people to learn!. Somehow our parents teach us when we're four that when they yell at us we are doing something wrong!. And then we spend the rest of our lives thinking that if ANYBODY yells at us, then we are doing something wrong!.
If some guy yells at you, then HE'S doing something wrong!.
I give advice like this, and it's really common sense!. You will live happily ever after, when you are able to say things like this to -yourself-!. Be your own best friend!. Whenever someone says or does anything hurtful, be there right beside yourself, telling yourself the kinds of things that a wise best friend will say!.
By the way, people do change their e-mail address sometimes!. Call her to find out which address you should send it to!. That will alert her to check her mail!. I have accounts I haven't checked in months!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
What you wrote makes sense, but the message is so long and boring that Jill will probably fall asleep before she reads two lines!.
How about, "Jill, I am so sorry for being a jerk!. I hope you can forgive me and talk to me again!."!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.and mean it!.
The key factor in apologies is sincerity, not manipulation!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
How about, "Jill, I am so sorry for being a jerk!. I hope you can forgive me and talk to me again!."!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.and mean it!.
The key factor in apologies is sincerity, not manipulation!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You made a typo, "You and your girls "me" the world to me", which I think you want to say "MEAN"Www@Answer-Health@Com
NO it doesn't!. Bad grammar and punctuation!. He's a revision:
This message is hasty, but if I don't do it now I fear I won't have the courage to do so later!. I've been contemplating writing you for months now!. I keep waiting for some light to shine and tell me it's the right moment but I don't think that is how it works!. Jill, I owe you so much more than I'll ever have, but I'm going to begin with a long overdue apology!. You and your girls mean the world to me!. There hasn't been a single day you haven't crossed my mind!. It kills me to remember, I just want to forget all the stupid and hurtful things I said and did so badly, but they won't leave me alone!. This summer I was going through a difficult time and I didn't know how to deal with my problems properly!. I know that is no excuse for the way I treated you but I hope in time that you can forgive me!. You are such an amazing person and it is an honor to have you in my family!. I can only hope that some day I can have the privilege again of being in your life!. I'm sorry!.
I truly am sorry!.
all my love,
bb
^^ Play up the sympathy if you can!. Manipulation is the key factor in apologies!.
PS: I know someone named Jill Bebee so I thought this was interesting!.
Peace!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
This message is hasty, but if I don't do it now I fear I won't have the courage to do so later!. I've been contemplating writing you for months now!. I keep waiting for some light to shine and tell me it's the right moment but I don't think that is how it works!. Jill, I owe you so much more than I'll ever have, but I'm going to begin with a long overdue apology!. You and your girls mean the world to me!. There hasn't been a single day you haven't crossed my mind!. It kills me to remember, I just want to forget all the stupid and hurtful things I said and did so badly, but they won't leave me alone!. This summer I was going through a difficult time and I didn't know how to deal with my problems properly!. I know that is no excuse for the way I treated you but I hope in time that you can forgive me!. You are such an amazing person and it is an honor to have you in my family!. I can only hope that some day I can have the privilege again of being in your life!. I'm sorry!.
I truly am sorry!.
all my love,
bb
^^ Play up the sympathy if you can!. Manipulation is the key factor in apologies!.
PS: I know someone named Jill Bebee so I thought this was interesting!.
Peace!.Www@Answer-Health@Com