How do i get over the extreme stress and anger that my bipolar friend has put me!
Question: How do i get over the extreme stress and anger that my bipolar friend has put me through!?
i myself am a sensitive/emotional person who has suffered a lot of trauma growing up!. when my bipolar guy friend was at his worst (before he found the right meds), he would always call me and talk about himself, say appalling things, ask intrusive questions, belittle me, disagree w/ absolutely everything i said (esp when i was going through a lot and needed validation from someone), spin everything i said to be able to talk about himself some more, and not let me out of the conversation!. when i would try to hang up politely, he would try to make me feel guilty about it when he was the one who should have felt sorry for rambling on in a way that made me feel agitated!. i would literally feel like my energy & soul had been robbed from me after talking to him!. he's on more effective meds now and has changed a lot but there's still remnants of his crappy personality!. like he still sometimes tries to contradict what i say just for the sake of arguing, not b/c he really needs to!. he also has this overbearing, intrusive quality that i can't explain!. i just know that it's taking a toll on me!. like he's sucking out my dignity and energy!. also he seems to get excited when hearing about my problems/shortcomings, and he likes to bring them up and talk about them!. it feels really malicious!. and for some reason with him, my worst seems to come out!. i'm planning on dropping him cold turkey and not answering his phone calls!. but when i think about the stuff he's done to me in the past, i still get extremely angry!. how can i get over the mental trauma he's put me through!? it's really affecting me no matter how hard i try not to think about it!. i understand that he's ill, but that's no excuse for what he's done to me in the past!. and something tells me he treated me ESPECIALLY worse than everyone else, which is another reason why i resent him so much!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Start by getting this hostile, negative guy out of your life!. Let him know that you don't like the way he treats you, you're tired of the negativity and you deserve better!. Don't go on and on about it -- just say what you have to say and then leave!. Don't take his calls and don't discuss things with him any further!. And then get busy doing other things -- get together with other friends, focus on school or your job or whatever, and try some new activities!. Recognize that the way he made you feel is NOT the person that you are, but also recognize that you allowed him to treat you this way, but you're not going to let anyone else do this to you again!. Let go of the anger because it's like acid that will burn you from the inside out!. Take a yoga class, try some meditation and learn to relax and let go of the bitterness!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
2 choices help him get to a dr!. and get on medication or kick him to the curb!. bi polar is a mind altering disease he has very few options!. you are the one with the optionsWww@Answer-Health@Com
A lot of what you are describing is NOT from being bipolar! The remnants of his crappy personality is just that, his crappy personality!. The meds took care of the bipolar, but what is left is him and his own problems independent of the illness!. I myself am bipolar, and I know many people that are bipolar, and while there are a lot of not-so-pleasant personality problems that come with it, taking pleasure in others shortcomings is not one of them!. Have a very firm talk with him that treating you that way is NOT ok, and that you are not going to put up with it!. Then when he starts belittling you and making you feel guilty, walk away until he can treat you like a true friend!. You don't have to put up with that!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Friend, sometimes we have to respectfully but firmly tell someone we've associated with, that we need to spend time apart!. Sensitive, kind-hearted people have the most trouble breaking away from "vampires," because the compassion principle helps such folks appreciate the decent qualities as well as the habitually destructive behaviors of others!. So, when such "accepting" people know its time to separate, they keep the relationships going a while longer, and then longer, and then longer!. Sometimes "friends," bipolar or not, manipulate others to into rejecting them, in a perverse attempt to find out who "really loves them" or, who is the "real friend!." Their sickness becomes an excuse, and a rationale, and a crutch!. Don't fall for that foolishness!. Make life good for yourself!. Don't repeat the same habits, either, ok!? You deserve better, don't you!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
i think you are frustrated with yourself and your inability to advocate or defend yourself against people like this guy, his behavior is awful but is a side effect of his condition!. you had the option to disengage at any time, why would you continue to attempt a relationship with someone who treats you continually in the way you describe!? Had you been victimized, abused by someone in your past or when you were a child!? often adults continue putting themselves in positions of being victimized (often without even recognizing that this is what they are doing)!. you need to address your pent up anger and frustration as well as trouble discerning what healthy relationships for YOU are, find a mental health counselor that can help you sort through all of this and get you feeling happier, healthier and empowered!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Thats a tough one!. You're trying to do the right thing by being his friend, which is good, but you're becoming his crutch too!. It's hard to have someone you care about so much hurt you and not realize it!. As hard as it might be to convince yourself of this, you're not actually benefiting him, and especially you, by being available for him so much!. I would cut back the time you spend with him in person and on the phone to the point that you're relationship will be on different terms!. If you don't see eachother all the time, you'll have more ''small talk'' discussions rather than intimate and potentially hurtful ones!. When you see someone all the time, you tend to know all those small talk details about eachother, like what you did last weekend, or how work is going etc!.
I have a very close friend who is bipolar and I've gone through hell with him too!. We've been great friends for over a decade and when we see eachother, no matter how bad things got when he was manic, none of it matters anymore!. The sad part is that he has no other friends, and I live thousands of miles away!. We still chat online and we visit eachother, but I think our friendship has lasted because I took a bit more distance and stopped letting him in my head!. Which is what your friend is doing to you by bringing up your problems and talking down to you!. He takes you for granted!. He isn't doing it intentionally, and if he knows you aren't available to be trampled on, he will have a much more difficult time doing it!. It's hard, but if you want your friendship to last, I think thats what you need to do!.
Good luck with that, and think of yourself first!.
Cheers!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I have a very close friend who is bipolar and I've gone through hell with him too!. We've been great friends for over a decade and when we see eachother, no matter how bad things got when he was manic, none of it matters anymore!. The sad part is that he has no other friends, and I live thousands of miles away!. We still chat online and we visit eachother, but I think our friendship has lasted because I took a bit more distance and stopped letting him in my head!. Which is what your friend is doing to you by bringing up your problems and talking down to you!. He takes you for granted!. He isn't doing it intentionally, and if he knows you aren't available to be trampled on, he will have a much more difficult time doing it!. It's hard, but if you want your friendship to last, I think thats what you need to do!.
Good luck with that, and think of yourself first!.
Cheers!.Www@Answer-Health@Com