I'm really depressed right now, I need help! Advice please?!
Question: I'm really depressed right now, I need help! Advice please!?
MY boyfriend is on a self destructive path, and I know in his heart he wants to be better but keeps relapsing to drugs because they are still in his system, and can't get it out of his head!. I seriously feel like crawling into a hole and pretending this isn't real!.!.!. when at work all I can do is think about it, and when I think about it, it makes me sick!
This is the man I want as my future children's father and he is ruining his life and doesn't seem to be able to comprehend the reality of the damage he is causing!.
He recently started smoking crack!.!.!. this is so unreal for me!!! This is something I never even dreamt I'd have to deal with, and now it's ruining my trust, my happiness, my love, my EVERYTHING!.!.!.!. Why is this drug taking over him, why can't he stop!.!.!. it's only been a week or 2 and his father just passed away like 2-3 weeks ago, and since then he's been spiralling down!.!.!. DEAR GOD I can't take this anymore, I'm so crushed!!!! I feel like my life is crumbling around me!.
Please someone help!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
This is the man I want as my future children's father and he is ruining his life and doesn't seem to be able to comprehend the reality of the damage he is causing!.
He recently started smoking crack!.!.!. this is so unreal for me!!! This is something I never even dreamt I'd have to deal with, and now it's ruining my trust, my happiness, my love, my EVERYTHING!.!.!.!. Why is this drug taking over him, why can't he stop!.!.!. it's only been a week or 2 and his father just passed away like 2-3 weeks ago, and since then he's been spiralling down!.!.!. DEAR GOD I can't take this anymore, I'm so crushed!!!! I feel like my life is crumbling around me!.
Please someone help!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Dear God is a start!. The definition of desire is willing enough to sacrifice!. What are you willing to sacrifice to get what you want!. There is peace, comfort, wisdom, love, and grace waiting for you!. What God has prepared for you is already here, but He's waiting on you to say the right words!. I can see your pain and as I read it, it causes me pain too!. I have a solution, and that solution is God!. Even though I don't know you, I want the best for your life and the life of your boyfriend!. I'll pray for you that you may receive wisdom and peace!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
He needs help and fast!. You need the step back and really think hard about this situation!. If he carries on with this destructive path he will take you with him!.
I know this sounds really harsh but if he can't or won't get professional help then you really need to cut your losses!.
I do not envy your task ahead, but will keep you in my thoughts as you decide what to do!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I know this sounds really harsh but if he can't or won't get professional help then you really need to cut your losses!.
I do not envy your task ahead, but will keep you in my thoughts as you decide what to do!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I want you to re-read what you just asked!. Now, be in our shoes and try to answer that question!. Why on earth would you want this man as the father or your unborn children!? You need to watch several interventions and that will let you know exactly what you need to do!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I would tell him to go to rehab and then maybe you could think about a relationship after that!. I would not even think about him being the father of your children!. That is something would be far far far down the road from now!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
This is a hostile universe, No place for dreaming!. Showing your human feelings for another human !? It's not important how we lead this life, any more , we all brought to this world, the only thing we should do , is just Finish it!.
I mean don't think about future so optimistic!. Salvation, happiness, freedom are a hallucination that just made us chasing them as thirsty in desert chasing a mirage!.
Just help him, don't leave him alone in this situation, i don't know how, who knows !? worthless God !? The only think i can say and you yourself know it, don't leave him alone!.
Just annihilate your dreamed future and made another dreamed future that can survive in this hostile world!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I mean don't think about future so optimistic!. Salvation, happiness, freedom are a hallucination that just made us chasing them as thirsty in desert chasing a mirage!.
Just help him, don't leave him alone in this situation, i don't know how, who knows !? worthless God !? The only think i can say and you yourself know it, don't leave him alone!.
Just annihilate your dreamed future and made another dreamed future that can survive in this hostile world!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
This sounds just like my brother he gets very destructive when on or off drugs caused from withdrawals, one minute his high next thing he is angry, because of this i've really started disliking my brother and he just ruins the family all the time, if his under 18 you can get his parents to send him to rehab but if over 18 he has to addmit hiself, which he might do if you ask, maybe trying to get him to see the future and make him understand drugs can not be part of that, explain to him i know your going through a rough patch but life can and will get better eventually expain how muc he means to you and be supportive, if he is on withdrawal best thing to do is stay out of his way anything can set him off trust me!! hope it helps in anyway :) stay safe, if it gets out of control maybe call one of his friends to settle him down and not call the policeWww@Answer-Health@Com
I agree that you need to reread what you just wrote!.
You say you know in his heart he wants to be better!.
You dont say what he is doing to get better !. only that he keeps relapsing into his drug addiction!. This is very serious !.
He is going nowhere VERY fast and he WILL take you with him, if you let him ! It is so true that he needs help, but he if wont go for it, you are not supposed to let him drag you under with him!.
there comes a point where you need to save yourself!. his problems are taking over your life and making you depresed!.
Sit down and talk to him!. If he doesnt get help, you need to walk away!. Maybe it is just for awhile , until he cleans up his act!. But there is NO way I would EVER think of having kids with someone who just picks up crack when life gets tough!. HELLOWww@Answer-Health@Com
You say you know in his heart he wants to be better!.
You dont say what he is doing to get better !. only that he keeps relapsing into his drug addiction!. This is very serious !.
He is going nowhere VERY fast and he WILL take you with him, if you let him ! It is so true that he needs help, but he if wont go for it, you are not supposed to let him drag you under with him!.
there comes a point where you need to save yourself!. his problems are taking over your life and making you depresed!.
Sit down and talk to him!. If he doesnt get help, you need to walk away!. Maybe it is just for awhile , until he cleans up his act!. But there is NO way I would EVER think of having kids with someone who just picks up crack when life gets tough!. HELLOWww@Answer-Health@Com
First of all,
I am TRULY sorry for all of your future children's father's problems!.
And all the family problems!.
If you have convinced yourself, however, that you can help him,
then you have a problem!.
It is imperative that you seek help!.
Find someone someone who attends a local Nar-Anon meeting!.
Call one of the meeting groups!.
http://nar-anon!.org/index!.html
Honey, I say this with the love of a mother, friend, and experienced person!. Find help for yourself first!. Because enabling him in every way will only give you a dim future!.
I am praying for you!!
God bless!
In Jesus' name, Amen!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I am TRULY sorry for all of your future children's father's problems!.
And all the family problems!.
If you have convinced yourself, however, that you can help him,
then you have a problem!.
It is imperative that you seek help!.
Find someone someone who attends a local Nar-Anon meeting!.
Call one of the meeting groups!.
http://nar-anon!.org/index!.html
Honey, I say this with the love of a mother, friend, and experienced person!. Find help for yourself first!. Because enabling him in every way will only give you a dim future!.
I am praying for you!!
God bless!
In Jesus' name, Amen!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Hey girl I am with you on this one my boyfriend is 37 and we are actually fighting right now about the same matters he drinks an 18 pack a night and smokes reefer like it is going out the window we spend over 200/wk on beer and reefer and he does not have the job that your boyfriend has I actually work a second job because he pays 800/month in child support and can not get another job because his child support will go up more!. We both just got laid off of our previous jobs, my mother died suddenly at the age of 47, and we lost the custody battle for his son!. I am not sure if telling you this helps but I know I read yours and was like thank god I am not the only person going through this!. I have talked to him several times about the drinking and for the past year he has told me he is going to quit but now when he stops he is a complete horror to be around!. My only advice is to sit him down and tell him that everything that he does affects your life too and that when he gets self destructive like that it is hard for you too deal with!.!.I have told my boyfriend this and he will stop for like a day but maybe your boyfriend will stop for your sake!.!.!. If he is going through a hard time though just try and get him out of the house at night and try and keep his head off of everything going on!.!.!. Good luck girl!.!.!. I just saw that you said Crack girl you need to get him off it now!.!. That is the most addicting drug there is and the hardest to break you need to give him a reality check now if you want him to be around later!.!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You can only look out for yourself!. You can't make someone get help!. I know that this is not a "feel-good" answer, but you need to do what you can do to protect your sanity!. Go check out an al-anon or narc-anon meeting!. They are cheesy, but you will hear from a lot of people in your circumstance, and what they do to cope!.
I was with the same woman for 15 years, married for 6 of those!. She was an addict, and relapsed after our marriage!. I spent so much time and effort trying to get her to fix herself!. Put her in rehab nine times!. Despite her problems, she was the love of my life!. Unfortunately, despite my efforts, we had to separate!. When we separated, I thought she would have no choice but to pull it together!. She quickly lost control and on September 30 of this year, she committed suicide!.
My point is, if a person is set on self-destructive behavior, all the love and effort in the world can't change that person!. I never in my life put as much effort into anything as I did trying to save my wife, and I was not able to help!.
I feel like if I would have not been an enabler for so long, and allowed her to get to the point she had gotten to, she could have gotten straight!.
Now, at least where I am sitting today, I feel like my life will never again have purpose!. I am riddled with sadness, depression, guilt, and anxiety!.
Do not take it upon yourself to be responsible for other's decisions in life!. You can only look out for you, and provide support to others when they are ready for it!. Until then, you are powerless!. You need to accept the powerlessness and do what ever you can do to make sure you come out the other side ok, regardless of what the other side ends up being!.
I wish you the best, and hope that things work out for you in the end!.
I have seen many people throw their lives away over addictions!. Usually they hit bottom and seek the help they need eventually, but if you are constantly preventing that bottom from being seen, they will continue to spiral downwards!.
I'm not religious, but "let go and let god" is a good thing to keep in your head!. Just try to free yourself of the pain and frustration that you can't control and let it go out to the universe, or god, or buddha, or your dog, or whatever you believe in!. If you don't believe in anything then just let go!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I was with the same woman for 15 years, married for 6 of those!. She was an addict, and relapsed after our marriage!. I spent so much time and effort trying to get her to fix herself!. Put her in rehab nine times!. Despite her problems, she was the love of my life!. Unfortunately, despite my efforts, we had to separate!. When we separated, I thought she would have no choice but to pull it together!. She quickly lost control and on September 30 of this year, she committed suicide!.
My point is, if a person is set on self-destructive behavior, all the love and effort in the world can't change that person!. I never in my life put as much effort into anything as I did trying to save my wife, and I was not able to help!.
I feel like if I would have not been an enabler for so long, and allowed her to get to the point she had gotten to, she could have gotten straight!.
Now, at least where I am sitting today, I feel like my life will never again have purpose!. I am riddled with sadness, depression, guilt, and anxiety!.
Do not take it upon yourself to be responsible for other's decisions in life!. You can only look out for you, and provide support to others when they are ready for it!. Until then, you are powerless!. You need to accept the powerlessness and do what ever you can do to make sure you come out the other side ok, regardless of what the other side ends up being!.
I wish you the best, and hope that things work out for you in the end!.
I have seen many people throw their lives away over addictions!. Usually they hit bottom and seek the help they need eventually, but if you are constantly preventing that bottom from being seen, they will continue to spiral downwards!.
I'm not religious, but "let go and let god" is a good thing to keep in your head!. Just try to free yourself of the pain and frustration that you can't control and let it go out to the universe, or god, or buddha, or your dog, or whatever you believe in!. If you don't believe in anything then just let go!.Www@Answer-Health@Com