I keep finding empty bottles of vodka all over the house and car....?!


Question: I keep finding empty bottles of vodka all over the house and car!.!.!.!.!?
Clearly my husband has a problem and I tackled him about it sometime ago when I found about 6 in the car (little ones, but still!) I had him go to the doctors and he promised it was just a stupid phase and he wouldn't do it anymore!.

I've since found more in the garage and yesterday one hidden in his wardrobe and one hidden down the back of his bedside table!. He insists that these are all 'from before'!. I've told him I don't appreciate him lying to me and that I don't mind supporting and helping him with an addiction, but I can't stand the lies!.

I just can't trust him anymore - I don't believe a word he says!.

Does anyone have any advice!? Anyone been there - either as a troubled partner or the alcoholic!?

Anyone, please!?!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
the lies come with the territory if he is an alcoholic!.
And he hates himself for it!.!.!. bringing guilt and shame!.!. making him want to drink more!. He does but he cant disappoint you and he fears you finding out and taking it away from him or you leaving so he lies again!.!.!. he feels more guilty and shameful!.!.!. he drinks more!.
over time he starts responding to every uncomfortable emotion or stressful situation by drinking!. He still doesn't want to lie to you but he feels he has to because he is addicted or becoming addicted and far from a place where he could consider giving it up!.
Its a vicious cycle!.

The rules of needing, acquiring, and maintaining an addiction in the presence of loved ones who know it and want the best for us requires lies!. It requires becoming someone you do not want to be!.!. not to hurt or deceive others but to feed the addiction because they will stop you and you can not even consider stopping yet let alone actually stop!.

I can tell you now - lived with boyfriend who is severe alcoholic!.!.!. hes been sober 4 months!.!.!. their will be lies he doesn't want to but truly believes he has to because he truly believes he has to drink
If you want the truth of how bad it really is you cant get it from him!. No use trying!. You must check the hiding spots yourself to note if new bottles arrive!. Not confront him!. He will only feel forced to lie and find a new hiding spot and you'll still be in the dark!. Watch the money!. These kind of things will tell you how bad it is!. He cant!.

It will also be LONG!. An addict will do what they do until they are ready to give it up or more often the law gets involved!.!.!. ie drunk driving!. It would be great if he can go to AA!. But I doubt he will!. If you give him an ultimatum and he is a full blown alcoholic you might be shocked when he doesn't pick you!. If you force him to quit before he wants and needs to he will only be able to do so long enough to calm you and go back to it!.

Like a smoker quitting because someone said they should versus quitting because they've reached a place where they know they need to!. Which will last longer!.

this will not be fun!.

Be careful not to babysit him!. Do not enable him!. Do not drink with him!.If he is drinking do not be in the same room!. Do not clean up his consequences!.!.!.ie missing the alarm cause hes too drunk and gets late to work etc!. The more he feels the consequences of his drinking the sooner he will feel the need to quit!. Do not try to hide or empty his bottles or limit or control his drinking in other ways like this!. This will make him feel like a child resent you and drink more and lie more!. For every bottle you take another can be bought!. All this does is cause tension!.

I hope their was some helpful advice there!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Alcoholism will make a liar out of the nicest of people and you first need to see that your husband isn't really being himself!. The best people to contact would be alcoholics anonymous!. They have years of experience of all the scenarios and will be able to offer you support even if your husband declines to see them!.

It may well be a temporary phase, and if you keep your stance non judgemental and more supportive he is more likely to open up!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

alcoholics are extremely hard people to love because the symptoms of thier disease are things like selfishness,dishonesty,all kinds of bizzare behaviours to get a drink,plus they hate themselves so how can anybody else love them!.you have to be extremely stong in order to deal with an alcoholic!.!.!.i suggest you get some help from al-anon!.!.!.they'll support you 100%!.!.!.!.!.call them now!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Try talking with him about it, he has ti admit that he has a problem, if he wont admit it, then he cannot help himself to wanting therpay etcWww@Answer-Health@Com

Hi !
I lived with an alcoholic and there is nothing you can do to keep him from lying to you!.!.!.it comes with the addiction!. The best thing for you to do is go to Al-Anon!. Find a group that is not full of people sitting around complaining but one that will offer solutions!.
You cannot fix an alcoholic and you cannot control an alcoholic!. You can fix the way you react to an alcoholic!.
Have a great day!Www@Answer-Health@Com

I have been there!. I was married to an alcoholic for about eight years!. I stuck it out as long as I could and eventually had to leave because he became to emotionally abusive!. That may not happen in your situation, I know that every case is different!. I agree that you really need to find a good support group for yourself!. It is good to be able to talk to people who are going through the same thing or have gone through it in the past!. They can help guide you in how to best help him but more importantly they will be able to help you by being supportive!. You are going to need all the support that you can get!. Most of the time an alcoholic will try to turn things back on you to take the focus off of the alcohol problem!. I cannot stress enough how important it is to surround yourself with strong supportive people who care about YOU!. I also agree with the person who said you cannot change the alcoholic, only the way that you react to him!. That is so true! He has to want help before he can receive it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

They will hide it any where (bushes bins neighbours garden etc etc) just to keep it from you!. unless you want live your live in a cycle of him drinking for most of the time then i would suggest leave him but if You love him and find that hard you will have to accept the drinking (not a good idea)!.Www@Answer-Health@Com





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