Im sorry about this but how can i not be jealous of people whos lives have worke!


Question: Im sorry about this but how can i not be jealous of people whos lives have worked out perfect!?
when i have had to go through hell in my life , with no let up and missed out on everything !?

im a member of the website ' friends reunited ', and i discovered a girl i used to know over 10 years ago now, when i was living in some hostel- ( shared accomadation ), when i was about 17 , im 31 now - her name was rachel brownshaw , heres what it says in her profile :

' About me

Living it up in cornwall, surfing clubbing and the usual Newquay vibe!. (added on 14/09/06)

My future plans:

Well for all who know me, my plans for the the next 5 minutes change frequently never mind my plans for the future!. I hope to leave sunny England once and for all eventually and live it up in either Aussie or New zealand with my gorgeous super model fellor and my even more gorgeous 2 year old son Isaac!. Im studying to become a midwife and with this under my belt, the world will be my oyster!. I need to see the sun each day and staying here just wont cut the mustard!. Iv been living in spain for the last year and a half but when i split from my husband "YIPPEE" i had to return here to get back on my feet again, and that is most certainly what iv done!. Future looks bright!


that is just an example of someone i once knew , who wasnt a friend but i remember she was an attractive redhead with mixed race heritage like me, i remember she was loud, over confident boistrous, and nearly had me beat up by her ufc fighting brother because she wasspreadin rumours about me at the time to get me in trouble because she took a dislike to me for some reason!.!.

this is just an example of how im jealous of others lives, honestly im not meaning to be negative but my life has been hell, suffered hard times, abuse , victimisation ALL THROUGHOUT MY LIFE - iam now 31 live in a small apartment on disability , i suffer with ptsd and borderline pd , iam seeking help from the mental health services, as i have been doing for years!.!.

ive missed out on everything folks take for granted : building friendships or relationships , being employed , getting qualifications, and just simply never had a life, only suffered persistant hardship an tough times, no lie !.

then i see a profile of somebody i used to know 10 years ago, whilst browsing friends reunited!.!.!.!.!.!.and i feel so much jealousy, anger, depression, envy!.!.!.!.!.ive missed out on everything she talks about, and are only now at 31 trying to build my life from scratch!.!.!.

my future goals are to get a job in IT then to move abroad, leave england to a hot climate, near the coast, but i know this will be hard because of my disadvantages and criminal background 8 years ago!.

how can i get over this !? i feel so gutted and depressed at seeing THATWww@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
You haven't even bothered to read her profile PROPERLY have you!?!?!?!?!?!?


She split with her husband, how do you think she felt really!? (I bet it wasn't YIPPEE at the time)

She had all the hassle of moving back to the UK!.

She's a single parent, how do you think she felt when her husband left her alone with the kid to bring up!?

She's studying to become a midwife - it's not easy and she might not pass!.

She's not actually happy is she!?

She can't stay in one place - so she's not settled and not happy, she obviously hasn't got any long term friends if she's always moving around, and probably no long term partner to help her!.

YOU HOWEVER!.!.!.

Have no ties!.
Can take an IT training course
Unless you've murdered someone I don't see why you can't move somewhere hot!?!?!?

Next time start looking at the DETAIL in things!.
She's written it in a positive way, but most of the things in her profile have been difficult!.

I'm 31 and have just lost everything I had in the space of 3 months!.
My GF, Apartment, Car, Job!.
At the same time my (ex)GF has been promoted, met a new guy and is moving to Dubai!.

But theres no way i'm going to let it beat me!.
Within 6 months i'll be back!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Deal with it man!. It sucks!. At least you have a life!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

my ex took took took n took of me now shes rich n now im not, shoot me sum1Www@Answer-Health@Com

Some people are luckier than others, and some people have a way of looking at things positively which seems to bring things to them (because they look for and expect to find them)!. I agree with the answers that suggest people don't always tell it like it is on their profiles!. I also like Joe Diamond11's advice as to how to look at things!.
You are still young and can try for these things you've missed!. You can do IT courses!. I thought current policy was to help people on disability benefits get work!. Ask about it!. You say you are seeking help from health services, ask about DBT!.
I see info about people on Friends Reunited!. Yes, I admit I sometimes think that people who weren't as kind and intelligent as myself are doing a lot better (on paper) in material/family/career/travel matters than myself!. One was a bully! But I like who I am and have no reason to compare myself with others!. It's a waste of my time!
Please try to enjoy your life, but we all have difficulties, even those with jobs, qualifications, money and families!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Hi there, I don't mean to sound like I'm putting you down or belittling your hardships or ignoring your disabilities, but for someone who has travelled I see things from a different perspective!.
I've seen people with no legs begging in the streets for money to live in south America, and I compare that with the alco begging in the streets of London for money for another drink!.
I've seen all sorts of poverty where the people are happy yet living in conditions far worse than anything you can imagine!.
What I am trying to tell you is that regardless of how unfortunate you think you are, you cannot see the numerous advantages that you do have especialy if you live in the UK!.
Try living in other countries, even other Euroean countries and see the difference, the UK is one of the most advantageous places to live in!. Your problems may be mental illness, but then again if you had no legs and lived in South America, could you afford to have a mental illness!? Now don't take that wrongly because I'm sure that the suffering you feel is real, but I'm trying to impress upon you that you can change your life!. You live in one of the best countries to be able to do this, and if you can't do that there, you can't do it anywhere!. (Assuming you are UK, this is UK answers, but the USA would be very much the same)!.
If you want to look at other peoples lives and think what they have and what you don't have, well what kind of attitude is that!? You know two things here:
First, this girl you're talking about is probably bigging her self up on the net, but secondly if she's not, then she has the life she has because she did it, whereas you haven't!. You need to fight through whatever complications you have and determine that you can have the life you want!. Focus and do it and battle with the problems that present themselves!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Don't feel depressed, instead just focus on yourself and your small victories!. For instance, tonight I was really proud of myself when I responded to an email that I didn't want to!.

Feeling inadequate can best be dealt with in your own life!. Plus the grass is always greener blah blah!.

Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

for goodness sake, be happy for them!. you may be shocked to know there are people who would consider your life to be a good one compared to theirs!. no kidding and i am not without understanding how you feel you have missed a chance for happiness!. but don't get so involved in those thoughts that you miss your next chance!. have a good day today, my amigo, MWww@Answer-Health@Com

People always write positive things on their friendsreunited profiles!. Nobody is going to write something negative and depressing about their lives! What they've written down is only half the story so try to bear that in mind when you're comparing your life with theirs!.

Plenty of people nowadays are rebuilding their lives from scratch!. You've set yourself some goals which is a great start!. Now you need to set yourself some deadlines about finding out how to go about achieving them!. Try to focus on that instead of what other people are doing!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

If I hated everyone who is better looking, has more money, wife and family and better health I would do nothing all day but hate!. I live life as it comes, pain and all!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Hon what people say and what they are are 2 different things!.
What makes you think its all truth!?
You could make up the same thing and who is going to correct you!?
The internet is full of phonies!.!. and wannabes!.
The best revenge is to make something of yourself, and give back to others that don't know anything about you, volunteer for some group that teachings IT to a third world country(they are all hot climates)!. Point is you are what you are and now you want to make it better, heck with those in your past concentrate on making a better future for yourself and others!Www@Answer-Health@Com





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