Advice for disciplinging a troubled 3 year old. Any behavior specialists?!
Question: Advice for disciplinging a troubled 3 year old!. Any behavior specialists!?
We are desperate!. My step son is having problems!. His mother only uses the "naughty chair" method (we do not spank!) It is not working, he does not listen to anything she says, hits, bites, kicks, yells, he is constantly getting in trouble at kindercare for this too!. She says she will be taking him to a behavior specialist!. Any professional advice!? He is have some serious problems and no method we have ever tried has worked!. We have tried everything!!!!! Help!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Be consistent!. And stubborn!. If he hits, say "don't hit" if he hits again say "you have to sit in the naughty chair because you hit" and start 3 minutes on the naughty chair!. Put him there and walk away!. If he does not stay, put him back!. Do not talk to him or engage with him!. If he fights, bites, etc!. hold him in a gentle but firm "bear hug" until he stops fighting!. and then place him back on the naughty chair!. Again, you're not talking to him other than to make a few statements!. "no hitting", "biting is not okay", "you have to sit in the naughty chair until you follow the rules"!. This might take a couple of epic standoffs: be prepared to spend 30 minutes bored, exhausted, and feeling like a huge meanie! The point is to prove you are consistent and he will not avoid the punishment!.
At his age he is trying to learn and understand rules!. Between mom, dad, and daycare, he sees 3 sets of rules and behavior!. The "terrible twos" is a stage where kids are learning what "no" is and what rules are!. At 3, he could still be confused by different rules in all his places! And even if they are the same rules, coming from different people, with different details and different punishments can be complicated!. That is why consistency is important!.
One of the first steps a behavioral specialist is going to take is to have a visual aspect!. He could be a very visual child who needs to see it!. I'd reccommend taking a piece of paper and putting his picture on it!. Write "Johnny's Rules" Then place 2 or 3 icons on the paper- hand with a red crossed out circle "no hitting", teeth with the no circle around it "no biting"!. Then go to Staples and pay $2 to laminate it!. It Go over it with him at his "trouble times" like when he first acts up, but also go over it with him when he is folllowing the rules (like if you're reading books)!. It would be especially nice if he had 3 copies (one for mom, dad, and school)!. Read the page together every time he comes in your house, before meals, before bed, and make it an activity "Hey Johnny, lets look at your rules"!. His picture will personalize it!. he'll "own" the rules and a sense of control and ownership is a very common struggle in that age!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
At his age he is trying to learn and understand rules!. Between mom, dad, and daycare, he sees 3 sets of rules and behavior!. The "terrible twos" is a stage where kids are learning what "no" is and what rules are!. At 3, he could still be confused by different rules in all his places! And even if they are the same rules, coming from different people, with different details and different punishments can be complicated!. That is why consistency is important!.
One of the first steps a behavioral specialist is going to take is to have a visual aspect!. He could be a very visual child who needs to see it!. I'd reccommend taking a piece of paper and putting his picture on it!. Write "Johnny's Rules" Then place 2 or 3 icons on the paper- hand with a red crossed out circle "no hitting", teeth with the no circle around it "no biting"!. Then go to Staples and pay $2 to laminate it!. It Go over it with him at his "trouble times" like when he first acts up, but also go over it with him when he is folllowing the rules (like if you're reading books)!. It would be especially nice if he had 3 copies (one for mom, dad, and school)!. Read the page together every time he comes in your house, before meals, before bed, and make it an activity "Hey Johnny, lets look at your rules"!. His picture will personalize it!. he'll "own" the rules and a sense of control and ownership is a very common struggle in that age!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Walk away when bad behavior starts!. ANYTIME you catch your kid doing something good say, "I like how you are__________" and give him or her a hug!. I teach older kids and this helps!. Constant positive reinforcement!!! Also, try to redirect bad behavior!. When undesirable behavior starts you can help him/her by showing him something he doesn't know or switch to an activity that he might enjoy to help him snap out of it!. THe more energy you put into the bad moods the more they will escalate!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
A behaviour specialist is better equipped to give the advise!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
smack him!.Www@Answer-Health@Com