I can't stop sabotaging my own life! HELP?!
Question: I can't stop sabotaging my own life! HELP!?
My upbringing is not that unique, divorced parents when young, a nice but absent dad, an alcoholic mom, me getting involved in a serious long (10 years) relationship at 15 yrs old, to a guy with degrading views on girls, me loosing myself completely trying to make my parents happy, my ex happy, then my husband happy, my step daughter happy, my own kids happy, my friends happy!.!.!.etc
I have never even allowed myself to try to be happy bc I simply don't know how to!. I feel the most alive when I have "helped" someone else!. Then I feel a sense of self worth if only for the moment!.
Needless to say I have been used a bit and not very appreciated (expect from my own children like children mostly do love their parents regardless of what's going on)!.
I am now 39 and feel like I'm sinking in to major crisis!. I am already on anti depressants, anti anxiety medications, I have terrible mood swings and feel like the biggest looser that has ever lived!. I did so good in High School and I wanted to study more but I can't stop telling myself "what's the use you'll never amount to anything anyway" so I don't even try!. Or there is so much I dream of, that I can't decide!.!.!.and then I don't try!.!.bc I'll just fail or make a bad decision anyway!.!.!.
My husband has never tried to help or support me either!. I'm only good to him as long as I help him and is there for HIM but when I need to talk or just need a shoulder or his friendship, he looks the other way!. I hate myself for marrying him too! Seems like I choose partners that treats me like crap!.!.!.!?
I am my own worst enemy!
Help!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
I have never even allowed myself to try to be happy bc I simply don't know how to!. I feel the most alive when I have "helped" someone else!. Then I feel a sense of self worth if only for the moment!.
Needless to say I have been used a bit and not very appreciated (expect from my own children like children mostly do love their parents regardless of what's going on)!.
I am now 39 and feel like I'm sinking in to major crisis!. I am already on anti depressants, anti anxiety medications, I have terrible mood swings and feel like the biggest looser that has ever lived!. I did so good in High School and I wanted to study more but I can't stop telling myself "what's the use you'll never amount to anything anyway" so I don't even try!. Or there is so much I dream of, that I can't decide!.!.!.and then I don't try!.!.bc I'll just fail or make a bad decision anyway!.!.!.
My husband has never tried to help or support me either!. I'm only good to him as long as I help him and is there for HIM but when I need to talk or just need a shoulder or his friendship, he looks the other way!. I hate myself for marrying him too! Seems like I choose partners that treats me like crap!.!.!.!?
I am my own worst enemy!
Help!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
It's never too late to turn your life around!. You're only 39! I'm glad you are considerate for the well-being of others, and I congratulate you on that because so many others don't have this genuine good quality that you possess, but try to convince yourself that you deserve to treat yourself too, because it's true!. Start small by doing nice things for yourself!. Reward yourself after a good job at work by getting yourself something cute from the mall!.
Try being more bold with your husband; it seems to me that he assumes you'll be passive all the time, giving him "permission" to walk all over you and look the other way when you need comforting!. Tell him what you need out of him, in a confident and not whiney way!.!.!. if he doesn't listen, then start weighing your options!.!.!. why be with him if he makes you miserable!? Maybe getting rid of him is the best thing you could do for yourself!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Try being more bold with your husband; it seems to me that he assumes you'll be passive all the time, giving him "permission" to walk all over you and look the other way when you need comforting!. Tell him what you need out of him, in a confident and not whiney way!.!.!. if he doesn't listen, then start weighing your options!.!.!. why be with him if he makes you miserable!? Maybe getting rid of him is the best thing you could do for yourself!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
go to therapy;(Www@Answer-Health@Com
I know how it feels to be this age, I am 37, and have worries about the past and future and be on meds and feel disappointed still!.!.!.!.I just started to go to "talk" therapy, only been once so far, so I don't know exactly that it will "solve" any problems, but it does feel good to talk to an indifferent third party!.!.!.so maybe try that!.!.!.!.and I just finished going back to school, after many years of saying "maybe, shoulda, woulda, coulda" and it felt great!. I haven't gotten a job from it yet though, so I start to experience those bad feelings again, so I am looking for something else to do now!.!.!.!.I am doing rosetta stone!.!.!.!.but anyways!.!.!.!.I think I always feel better when I do something to better myself, for myself, and then I feel better with other people too!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I recommend you check out this social networking community called LetsReflect!.com!. There are people there going through situations similar to yours!. They are great for advice and encouragement!.
The process of Self Reflection has truly changed my life
The process of Self Reflection has truly changed my life
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