Does my friend have Histrionic Personality Disorder?!
Question: Does my friend have Histrionic Personality Disorder?
My friend Amber & I have been friends for a long time. She's always been jealous of me because I get attention from guys, because from what guys have told me she's "not attractive." Anyway, about maybe five months ago she told me she's bisexual. But I didn't believe her because I think she's saying that for attention, or because not many guys find her attractive. She's told me on numerous occasions that she's "in love" with me. & she wants to be my girlfriend. She acts sexual, clingy, & provocative around both genders, & she's always trying to ask my friends out.
She's also very attention-seeking with her wardrobe. & she's even admitted to dressing a certain way for attention.
She gets depressed if she's not the center of attention, & even threatens suicide sometimes. I'm really worried about her.
Answers:
I'm not a doctor, but I have read a LOT about Histrionics because of a relationship I was in with one. It doesn't sound like this is the case. It sounds like she does have a very low self-esteem to the point of depression- she gets her "boost" from attention because that's what makes her value herself. Because histrionics do have an underlying lack of self esteem, their behaviors do mimic what you've described...but on a MUCH more severe level. I don't know how old she is, but in my experience with depression/low self esteem vs. the histrionic with whom I was involved, the goals are similar but on a different scale.
The depressed person acts provocatively and wants attention (sometimes to the point of lying about suicides or sexuality) in order to gain VALIDATION- sounds like she knows she doesn't get attention from guys, so subconsciously she knows she needs to be validated though she may not admit it.
The true histrionic wants to be the center of attention as a means to several twisted ends. What you have to keep in mind is that everything a histrionic does is for his/her benefit ONLY. They do not have the ability to empathize or be content. They are controlling, manipulative, and expert liars. They are dramatic, eccentric, and self-absorbed to the point of blaming others for their downfalls (example: he cheated because my actions made him do it). They will always think everyone is jealous of them because they are so much above everyone else, but in reality they are jealous of others (they cannot admit it and other people won't see it). They are smooth, good-looking (generally), and obsessed with physical appearance. They're good friends when (and only when) it somehow benefits THEM. They will never take a true interest in anyone else's life. These are people who become rapists and sexual sadists. They are cheaters, liars, and master manipulators. They are not annoyong- they're the opposite. They are appealing, and as a result, are VERY dangerous. Untreated, they'll never function normally.
I applaud you for being concerned about your friend. In my opinion, she is hungry for validation. Until she loves herself, she may easily become depressed, codependent, and promiscuous. She does need some help for her depression and low self-esteem. But histrionic may be a premature diagnosis.
Hope this helps.