What does depression feel like for you?!
Question: What does depression feel like for you?
I just want to know how different it is for everyone.
If you care to know, for me it feels like a never ending feeling of emptiness and hatred for myself. I cry everyday for hours. I eat constantly out of boredom and hopes of feeling better. I hate myself so much. I constantly think about killing myself or hoping that I will die in an accident. I cut myself and burn myself with matches because It feels good. And I deserve it. I pick at my skin, I have scabs all over my scalp from picking at it (sorry if i grossed you out)..
I used to try so hard to be happy, it didn't work so I just accept that this is my life. I constantly think about turning to alcohol and drugs to escape the way my brother did, before he tried to kill himself and was stuck in a mental hospital...
I told my mom a while back that I think I was beginning to be depressed but she told me we can't afford therapy or medicine. So I just hide it now to keep her from worrying about me. I go to school everyday and pretend to be happy with friends.
That's my experience, how about you?
Answers:
Life will change just wait you will see a great happy change . Dont take any wrong step now that youll regret later. Just wait till that day comes and youll be glad you didnt make a wrong choice. :) change will come so wait :)
I tend to lose my sense of self, my sense of being, and I question everything around me like reality, and even those close to me. I wonder if they're really real. Overall, I just feel completely disconnected and happiness itself seems like some illusion to me. Whenever I am happy, whether I truly am or not, it feels like I'm pretending. I experience bouts of derealization, depersonalization . . . and yep. That's my experience.
Urm, for me,I always cry,feel like everyone's against me, dont sleep much, always feel down,headaches, bad stomachs,I don't eat,but when I have a good time with friends,at the end I drop down and feel soo unhappy :/
lonliness, emptyness , no hope , no friends or gf , scared , hates my parents for having me , all good things that happened to me in life seem to dissapear , tons of health problems, no job , bad addictions
anxious, sad, teary, tired, energy-less, lonely, pessimistic. empty. so much more...
chin up though, Get antidepressants they work :))
My depression used to range from melancholic 'euphoria' to suicidal depression and anxiety . (I have bi-polar so I have also experienced Mania and Hypomania, sometimes delusions, memory problems, clumsiness and paranioa - Although I'm not sure how much of it is side-effects to meds)
Melancholia: Made me want to be alone and think really creatively about sad things. Sadness seemed to feel comforting kind of like a rainy day when you're stuck inside and lying in your bed. Didn't want to socialize or be around anyone. Would stay in my room, etc with the door closed. Found a vivid appreciation for music, movies and colors during these periods that was overly stimulating. Very emotional - would cry over simple thoughts, etc.
Sucidal Depression and Anxiety: I used to lie awake at night worrying about stuff. I would think about how much I hated myself and everyone I thought hated me, etc. I tried cutting a little and did find it had a sick but soothing kind of release. I would lie on the floor and cry (loudly) worrying about the world and all the starving people and the children who are raped and dying, etc. (My mother would very forcefully tell me to get up and stop acting so ridiculous) I would totally withdraw from most social interaction or fake some form of social contact. Slept alot and felt tired most of the time. I would experience severe anxiety and depression in crowded rooms with loud noises (talking, etc). My world revolved around 'feeling better' so I would avoid certain activities or people that made me feel even more depressed. I would sometimes just not go to school or not do projects because of the severity of the depression that consumed me - terrible feelings of heartache, misery, suicide, worthlessness, fear, false allusions, etc. I would say or do irrational or hurtful things because of my insecurity or loneliness. Also simple tasks became difficult and overbearing. Would feel restless or bored at times. Would withdraw completely from the 'real' world.
Medication was the answer. 2 Mood stabilizers and an anti-anxiety med. Now I'm much better, but still have the occasional swing here and there + a bit of anxiety (can handle it better though).
I hope you can find some way of getting treatement. (Important - will help you function better)
Good Luck