I cant stop crying and I feel very lost.?!
Question: I cant stop crying and I feel very lost.?
I have a very bad home enviorment and abandonment issues.
I dont ever feel loved and Im mentally abused several times a day wether my moms telling me to kill myself, or making fun of me, or cussing me out and calling me names. my dad left before I was born(crack head) and I dont speak with any other family including all my siblings.
I am really alone and have been for years also depressed I dont talk about my feelings with my friends nor do any know how much pain I carry I have tried though and none listened I have been think about suicide.
and I just got a boyfriend and hes been saying very nice things about me and talking to me, and it feels really weird I felt happy today then started thinking about all my home problems and how much of a **** up I am and how he will probaly leave like my dad, and I made myself sad again because It felt to weird to feel happy.
Is this weird? How can I fix this? I feel like breaking up with him because I feel weird now...
Why am I like this and how come I cant stop crying? I have been using drugs to to numb the pain like hydrocodone and weed( I dont consider it a drug, but how Im using it is out of hand)
Answers:
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
I think you should remind yourself that you do deserve to be happy. If you're asking yourself why, well why not? If anything having a horrible childhood and a bad home environment is all the more reason for you to deserve to be happy, it's karma.
Once you realize you deserve to be happy, do what it takes to be happy. Thinking about negative thoughts, like your boyfriend leaving you, is only going to make things worse. For one, it could make you unhappy, make you seem distant from your boyfriend, and strain your relationship.
People say that if you think something is true long enough, even if it isn't true to begin with, it
becomes true. So try not to think about it. Accept that it's a possibility, but then so is you and him getting married one day and living happily ever after. Try to keep positive thoughts, because negative thoughts won't help you. But they can make things worse.
AndI don't know where you live, but if your home environment is that bad, perhaps you should consider letting your school counselor know, in many countries the government has programs to protect you from an abusive home.
Also you need to get your thoughts out of your head and into the open. Most people prefer talking to someone else, as they feel it's more natural, but if that's not for you, write a diary with everything that bothers you. Keep it safe.
Find someone who will listen. There are people out there. If not around you, try online. I personally like sharing my problems with people further away. Why? A few reasons: For one, the chance of it ever coming back to haunt me is less likely. I also usually don't share details like where I live or how old I am. Second, there are often people you meet online who are more trustworthy than the people you'd actually meet in person. Probably because it's harder to get acquainted with someone in person than online.
Why talk about it?
1. It helps you think about it less.
2. It eases the pain.
3. It helps you think about it more clearly yourself.
4. Sometimes other people's perspective helps you find new solutions to your problems.
How old are you Cindy?If you are a minor tell a teacher.You need to be out that enviroment.Dont use drugs or weed cause they will add to your problems.If yr older leave home and get away from your mum.Make something of your life dont follow yr parents track.Look on net for help for abused people in yr area.Good luck sweetheart you deserve a better life and youve started by posting this question.Good for you
i think that you should move out, get a job and work hard so that you can afford to rent a place and start your new amazing life which has been waiting for you!! i really empathize your situation poor soul :(
before you go, go see a school counsellor or someone else that doesnt cost a lot and i suggest giving up the drugs because they make things worse. :(
i wish you the best of luck xx
Hey there Cindy. I'm so sorry to hear of your suffering, very sad.
I think you definitely have bad depression. You have to go to your doc's and explain just what you wrote above.
From what you say of your home life, then it's not surprising you are depressed. This would give you Reactive depression... but after all this time I think it would possibly become more severe. Please go to the doc's, & if you feel really bad or unsafe then go straight to accident & emergency. They have psychiatric personnel who will be very understanding & can help you.
Hope things work out kiddo.
kind regards
Charlie x
p.s. Don't ditch the boyfriend yet, he appears to be standing by you so far :)