confused & scared..help?!

Hey sorry I wanted you to see the rest of what I had written to you and didn't have space on the other spot you posted your question. If you didn't see the other post yet, please read it first ;)


YOU DESERVE TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF AND IN CONTROL OF YOU LIFE! Now of course I have never met you, and I’m sure you can think of all kinds of reasons that you shouldn’t feel good about yourself, and being 13 you clearly can’t have full control of your life. Throw that away. If you can be patient, in a few more years you will have significantly more control over your life than you do now. And no matter how old you are, you have the potential to feel good about yourself. You might make mistakes you regret, but my guess is that like all other people you have feelings, you get hurt, you want to love and be loved. You ARE supposed to have all of that and feel all of that, all of us do whether we admit it or not. But you won’t ever feel good about yourself, no matter how pretty you are, without fixing the real problems you have. They will always be there, lingering around and driving you to be cruel to yourself. Be smart! Know the traps you're falling into, see yourself and what you're doing for what it is and find better ways to get your needs met!

Eating healthy and exercising is not okay when it becomes an obsession that revolves around social acceptance. Yes, restrictive eating and throwing up works to lose weight, but you will become addicted to it. I know there are incredible pressures on you to be very thin. Your generation has it bad since the food you get to choose from is crap, and everywhere you look are women who are airbrushed, boob-jobbed, and otherwise distorted to look superhumanly "pretty". Every girl worth a damn in movies, on tv, on magazines is VERY THIN - or so it seems. You have friends and peers who feel this pressure too. It is a really crappy world for teenage girls right now, because it seems like everyone expects you to be perfectly pretty and happy and flawless. Those expectations are not fair, and not realistic. And unfortunately, you don't have the experience yet to know that there is a very large world where you can be a very happy person and have friends and an awesome boy(or girl)friend without looking like a high-fashion model. If your mom is super thin, or really fat, or your friends complain about their weight, or if you and they make fun of and are disgusted by fat people, that’s all just showing a lack of confidence in themselves, and a real sad need to feel loved. I bet you everyone that spends time obsessing about their appearances is one unhappy person, even if they are always joking around.

PLEASE do not go down the road of the eating disordered! I’ll let you know now that I have worked in a group home for teenagers with eating disorders, and they were smart, good kids who got caught up in this and now they can not stop themselves. Some of them were dealing with pain because their parents weren’t around as much as they should have been, some had been abused, some were bullied, some had someone close to them die, but none of them ended up really happy or whole by making themselves thin. It’s sad to watch, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

You should be proud of yourself for being smart enough to notice your habits and trying to get advice, it may not seem like much to you, but you've already proven by coming here that you're smart enough to know that something, whatever that something may be, is wrong with your situation. The question is what, exactly, is wrong? I can only hope you are brave enough to figure that out, and strong enough to work through it.

I wish you all of the best, and I hope that you will get through this and have a GREAT life full of love and happiness!

**It's funny, we don't understand why tribes in Africa put drink coasters in their lips but we will starve ourselves to be thin, put balloons under our skin under our skin to have bigger breasts, put chemicals in our hair and our bodies and have flesh and bone carved away for smaller noses... which culture is really more bizarre?

Prozac is SH!T. Get off it through a doctor of course. I have been on prozac twice and every time i was on it i overdosed, but yet that dumba$$ doctor still thought it was a good med. Switch to something else plz it may help u feel better about ur slef.

Eat healthy. It dioesn't matter how much calories an Apple has, it has a WAY different effect on your body. Stay away from white bread and white crackers. Keep excercising, im sure there are some cutie boys looking at you =)

What you need to do is stop worrying. I'm sure you look fine. I'm not surprised that you see yourself as fat with all the commercials and actresses out there with stick thin bodies, but you don't need to look like that. It's actually quite unhealthy. If you have a craving, go for it. Your a teenager. Teenagers get cravings so often it's not even funny. (But not as much as if you were pregnant...) The recommended calories is about 2000, so don't worry about eating 200 calories worth of chocolate. That's only a tenth of a healthy diet and you still have plenty of room for the rest of your day.

You poor thing to feel like this. And you're so brave to share it all on here, I know it can't have been easy.

First of all the weight and height you described sounds an ideal weight if not maybe abit too small - depending on your frame. I know that me saying that won't help you accept your size but it is my honest opinion. As for the calorie intake. A woman should take about 2000 kcals a day to maintain weight. To lose weight then they shouldn't really go below 1400 kcals a day. You especially need to be careful because you're still a child and therefore growing. Starving your body now could lead to permanent damage. You may have been craving chocolate because of your periods but equally it could just have been hunger. Believe me, you were still well under the amount of kcals you need so don't beat yourself up for eating the chocolate.

I suspect that this is really a symptom of your ocd and the need to have control in your life. While ppl can take control away from most of your life, what you eat is the one area that you can remain firmly in charge of. Maybe the change in meds hasn't helped and you need to chat to your doctor. why not keep a diary with a record of what you ate and how you felt when eating as well as anything else that might be important. That way when you feel able to share your problem and get some help you can just show your diary and not have to explain.

I'm no expert in this sort of thing sorry so I don't know the best way for you to get help but I'm sure you can find some support on the net if you don't want to speak to someone face to face. Perhaps something happened to you that has caused all this behaviour and self conscious image you have of yourself? Solving the emotions behind the behaviour maybe the solution or finding a less destructive way of coping with the emotions.

I hope you find the help tho hun and take care of you xx