Question:
I'm going crazy.13 year old too younge for this? what am i doing? self harm..sorry it's long..no mean comments?
Bare with me on the length. Well, lately Ive been having really bad family arguments. they always get mad at me for crying. And I know , stop crying, I've tried that. I used to cut, and whenever i cried I would cut deeper then usual, once everyone was yelling at me, so I carved no more tears into my leg out of anger for myself. I had this theory if I hurt myself every time I cried I would stop crying..it worked until the day before yesterday. My family and I got in fight over turning the music down..I know..it starts small..it got so bad that at like 9:30/ 10:00 i ran out of the house and cried in the dark. My sister came and said its not safe out here late (it isn't where i live) so I felt bad that she came for ME, and so I went back inside well my mother and brother called me a baby so I started using my elastic around my wrist to stop crying (Im trying to stop cutting since I started after stopping again) and ended up giving myself..an elastic burn? I went to sleep..happy, acutely..I mean my sister was there for me when my family wasnt. Then yesterday my family got mad at me and my sister because me and my mother got into an argument and when my dad and mom went to pick up my brother from work they came home yelling at my mom, so me and my sister stepped in and saying how they always hurt my mother, and I apologized to my mother for the argument before because that REALLY was my fault..and I felt so bad at fighting with her when she left...but things took a turn my dad stopped yelling he could see it was hurting us but my brother kept yelling at me for getting into things that aren't my Business. I get it..maybe I was getting into things that weren't my Business but it hurts to see your family fighting like mine do..u just wish it would stop. soon the argument turned on me on how I cry too much and get into thing I don't belong and how Im such a drama queen and think my problems are SO big, and so I started yelling " you don't even know!" because they were making me want to cut, and I didn't want to do it. I didnt want to give into it. It was taking over my life so I kept slapping the elastic band against my arm and I ran to the basement to cool down. I wanted to cut really, REALLY bad. My arm was swelling at this point and I saw a wooden stick on the ground and I beat my legs with it until I stopped crying (is that considered self harm?) and then i accidentally broke the wood piece hitting myself with it and used the larger end to keep hurting myself and then when I stopped crying i went upstairs and put the wood where I could find it so whenever I got angry I could do it again because it gave me allot of relief(am I addicted) As I was falling asleep I snapped the elastic band against my wrist so I wouldnt cry from the memories of what just happened with my family. When I woke up I had bruise like things on my leg, but I decided to let it go. My arm was bruised and red, but no longer swelled. I went downstairs and whenever I saw my mom I would try to forget everything by..slapping the elastic band against my skin..and it got even worse then yesterday..it even went numb. My sister was supposed to go to her friends to 'work' on their french project but she didn't want to get a drive so she asked to have her friend come here and I'll be honest I over reacted. I said nonono! please I don't want to get ready! and my family didn't understand why I NEEDED TO GET READY. I'll explain why I NEEDED to get ready..Im ugly. I have very bad skin and without make up Im veryyyyy ugly, and when I put on my make up it makes me hate myself more (1) for being so fake (2) It makes my skin even worse so I ran downstairs after being told that it doesn't matter she's coming so I beat my legs again with the wood for being so ugly and mean. then again used the elastic band...and...cut...huh. and I went to my room and put my wardrobe against it so no one would come in and see me so ugly. and went to sleep. I took 4 200 mL advil's to fall asleep. When I woke up I went downstairs and was very angry...my sister didn't even do her project with her friend! and so I was very angry and when my brother came down he told me to stop being so angry and shut up so I kept saying no. and they all would say hurtful things to me...to make a long story SHORTER I kept digging my nails into my skin to stop myself from crying and I didnt cry because my dad was defending me. After the fight my mom hugged me but I told her that i can't forgive her because she doesn't love me. they all (except my dad) love me when I'm with them, but when I'm against them...and it killed me to have to reject my mom...but I WILL NOT forgive them until this stops. And I feel so alone now. I no I have my dad but he's always at work...ALWAYS. which worries me and I don't know what to do. Am I self harming when I hit myself with wood? should I forgive? Was I overreacting?
Answers:
Yes, sweet girl: hitting yourself is self-harming. And forgiving? Yes, you need to forgive yourself for the harm you've done to yourself. Over-reacting? I can't say, as it's hard to tell.
You're cutting and harming yourself because you're in emotional pain. If you want to stop, you'll need to get some answers from people who understands it better than anyone on yahooAnswers. Really.
You obviously have access to the internet. Do you think you could go to a chat room online? Here's a place that can help: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org… You don't have to be suicidal to get help there. They help anyone anytime who is struggling or in crisis.
Another resource: http://eqi.org/cutting1.htm This is a place where you can better understand why you're cutting, how to stop doing it, and how to prevent it in the future.
Lastly, I want to give you my favorite resource for cutting: http://www.recoveryourlife.com/
I encourage you to turn to experienced people who understand what you're going through. That might not be your parents right now. It won't likely be yahooAnswers either. Get the answers to your questions from people who understand why you're doing what you're doing & have the resources to equip you to stop hurting yourself.
I wish you the best & wish I could give you a big hug & connect you with these people personally!! Take care, sweet girl & I wish you the best!
Ok what you do is self harm, its true. I think they treat you terribly and you dont deserve it. I think you need to talk to somebody. An adult you trust. A police officer. A teacher. A friends parent that is not friends with your parents. This has to get solved. I suggest you go to a friends for a few days and talk to a police officer to help you with solving the problems at home. You should not have to resort to harming yourself. You do not deserve that. Please talk to someone. Please go to a teacher or another parent you trust. The police need to get involved and you need to be away from that situation as soon as possible!! Good luck
You are very neurotic and your family is to blame. You have to see a counselor or other professional, otherwise you will end up suffering from a major depression
I started cutting myself when i was 12
omg your story almost made me cry. I don't have first hand experiance in dealing with self harm but i do have first hand experiance in dealing with living with someone who self harms. My sister did it for 3years and it completely nearly tore our family apart.
I suggest you go talk to maybe a school councellor about it before it gets any worse. That's the last thing you want. If you don't want to talk to a councellor then maybe an aunty or someone else you can trust that will be able to give you non subjective advice. You really need help honey. Hope everything gets better for you. Good luck
You just need to calm down. Seriously. You're throwing fits over silly little things. And holding a grudge against your mom? What is that going to solve? If you want things to get better you can't so that. You should just try going for a walk to calm down when you get upset. I used to self harm, and trust me, exercise is a much better way to relieve some stress.
You are doing any thing you can to get attention. You really need to talk to a professional. Ask your school counselor to get you help.
no use a condom
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