lack of attachments, lack of humanity, a reality, a punishment, both, or other?!

starting to get from other questons and answers and chats that i just simply have no passion or concern of others well being. i've been so wrapped in understanding my own detachments that i've lost whatever care i had for what others go through. i fear that i feed off of it for i have nothing else there. i try to figure out how i got to this point and realize i've always wanted to get here, to test if i'll stay internal and punish myself or slip and harm others.

what i see is i've gotten to the point where it doesn't matter but all that's left is hollow, a person with no direction, no dreams, no passions, no desires. i fear that as a person with intelligence and a long history of therapy, etc i'm trying to justify anything that happens, and i no that i can't, for it's wrong.

i accept that i've pushed away everyone i've ever associated myself with, now i gotta figure out what else is there. lol, guess this isn't making any sense, is it?