Always been a close family - not sure what to do?!
Question: Always been a close family - not sure what to do?
Hi,
I apologize for the long read but I have tried to abbreviate it as much as possible.
My parents live in another state - they have for nearly 5 years. My mother, not being around much, has been trying to use other people to get information about me and my life - although we talk on the phone twice a week and I tell her everything.
She has been complaining to another person about me, saying that my husband is "bringing me down to his level" and saying some really hurtful things - things that she has put nicely to me but not so nicely behind my back. Putting me down about my appearance, etc.
My husband and I have always got the impression that my parents don't think he is good enough for me and he is really hurt by the things she is saying. If I try to talk to her about anything like this, she always turns things around and says that I misinterpret things and take things the wrong way so that she is never at fault. And I am careful what I say because I don't want the people who are caught in the middle (who tell me what she says) to be targeted or verbally attacked by my mother.
I have always been the "black sheep" of the family - never feeling good enough, unlike my older brother, who my mother praises all the time - my parents talk about how proud they are of him and never seem to put him down or talk about how proud they are of me.
My question is this - what do I do? Talking doesn't seem to help and if things can't get resolved, I think I may end up exploding at them out of anger and never speaking to them again, which is not the way that I want things to end. Sometimes it just feels as though not having them in my life would be simpler - they can't seem to be happy with me or what I'm doing no matter what I try.
We've always been a close family when I was younger, but ever since they moved away, they seem to have changed and money is all that matters. They look down their nose at anyone who doesn't have nice things like they do. Its really damaging to my self esteem.
What would you do in my situation? I know I haven't gone into too much depth, but I don't want to give you guys too much to read.
Thank you to anyone who answers!
xx
I apologize for the long read but I have tried to abbreviate it as much as possible.
My parents live in another state - they have for nearly 5 years. My mother, not being around much, has been trying to use other people to get information about me and my life - although we talk on the phone twice a week and I tell her everything.
She has been complaining to another person about me, saying that my husband is "bringing me down to his level" and saying some really hurtful things - things that she has put nicely to me but not so nicely behind my back. Putting me down about my appearance, etc.
My husband and I have always got the impression that my parents don't think he is good enough for me and he is really hurt by the things she is saying. If I try to talk to her about anything like this, she always turns things around and says that I misinterpret things and take things the wrong way so that she is never at fault. And I am careful what I say because I don't want the people who are caught in the middle (who tell me what she says) to be targeted or verbally attacked by my mother.
I have always been the "black sheep" of the family - never feeling good enough, unlike my older brother, who my mother praises all the time - my parents talk about how proud they are of him and never seem to put him down or talk about how proud they are of me.
My question is this - what do I do? Talking doesn't seem to help and if things can't get resolved, I think I may end up exploding at them out of anger and never speaking to them again, which is not the way that I want things to end. Sometimes it just feels as though not having them in my life would be simpler - they can't seem to be happy with me or what I'm doing no matter what I try.
We've always been a close family when I was younger, but ever since they moved away, they seem to have changed and money is all that matters. They look down their nose at anyone who doesn't have nice things like they do. Its really damaging to my self esteem.
What would you do in my situation? I know I haven't gone into too much depth, but I don't want to give you guys too much to read.
Thank you to anyone who answers!
xx
Answers:
Don't listen to your mother, you are an adult now. You shouldn't always be after parental approval.
personally you're an adult.cut the umbilical cord from your mother sweet