Do I have depression or am I overreacting?!
Question: Do I have depression or am I overreacting?
I find it hard to get energy to do things, however, when I do eventually do them I can actually get in to them, the majority of the time. For example, I am on the school netball team, and I used to really love it, but now I try and come up with excuses to get out of it, however, when I do bother to go to training, I have the energy to play.
I starting my GCSEs and I am feeling a lot of pressure. However, I generally get As and A*s. Whenever I get lower than this however, I feel like a failure and that I have let everyone down. I feel ashamed, even if I still get a B. I have no idea why I feel this way. Maybe it's because I am expected to get high grades: I've always been good at most subjects, getting the highest in most classes, whenever I do get highest I get a 'well done, keep it up' and that's the end of it.
I am starting to spend less time with my friends and I do not go out as much. When I am with my friends, I am always 'happy' or so they think. I feel that I am too close to them to let them know how I feel, if that makes any sense. Whenever I do go out, I feel like everyone is staring at me, judging me and talking about me. It makes me feel paranoid, and that everyone is hating me and out to get me.
I am very irritable and even the littlest of things annoy me to a large extent.
I have a good relationship with my family, my mum and dad are together, except that I am not close to them, like I don't share my feelings and thoughts with them. I am afraid that they'll use it against me and ridicule me for it. Same with my friends and sharing my feelings.
I feel guilty about almost anything and everything. I'm not quite sure why. It feels like I have wasted my time with everything. I feel like a failure.
I always feel overweight and like I absolutely need to be thinner to be attractive, but what girl my age doesn't?
I also self harm, I have done for about 7 months now, and I have thought about death and suicide a lot.
I am a 14 year old female, if that makes a difference.
I do not know what to do, I feel depressed, but I do not know if I am overreacting or not. I don't want to tell anyone in case they make fun of me. I have a huge fear of embarrassment.
Please do not tell me to talk to my family/friends, because I won't.
Thank you for answering, I really appreciate it, sorry my question was so long, I felt I had to write about everything, sort of. I don't even know. Sorry, I'm rambling, Thanks for your answers.
Answers:
The first thing you should know is that when it comes to thinking you may be depressed you can never overreact. It does sound like you are indeed suffering from depression which to a degree is due to your age and the teenage anxieties that are all part of growing up. HOWEVER this is definitely not just the problem here - you are self harming and have done for quite a while and this is not good. If you are having trouble coping to the point of having to harm yourself do so then you need help.
Please seek professional, confidential help as you don't have to go through this alone. If you don't feel comfortable talking to your family or friends (although if you can please do as I'm sure they would hate to know your suffering and would want to help anyway possible) then try talking to your doctor or an adult you trust. Doctors and Nurses must treat you in confidence so even though you are 14 they cannot tell your parents without your permission although if they think your parents should know then they will hopefully try and convince you to talk to your family, maybe even suggesting that you bring them round to an appointment and he/she can explain the problem and what help there is. This way there is less pressure on you and you don't have to be the one to tell your family directly.
If you really can't bring yourself to get help at the moment then please consider joining an online support group who can help you gain the courage to talk to someone eventually. But whatever you do please, please, please stop harming yourself - you're too precious to this world to treat yourself the way you do. Imagine your problems were actually those of a friend or family member and think of what advice you would give them and how horrified you would be if you found they were suffering enough to hurt themselves, how you would want to tell them to stop because their pain is your pain. Please understand that this is not to make you feel guilty but in fact to make you realise that you are loved and that although you fear they will ridicule your feelings if you express them I am quite sure that the opposite is true and they love you so much the idea of you being so depressed and alone would make them want to help however they can.
I hope this helps and I really wish you the best of luck in overcoming this because you are a beautiful, wonderful person who has an amazing life just waiting for her x
Personal experience!
honey just relax.be happy.
You are a teenager. That is reason enough! Things get better as you mature.
it might be both.please go see a shrink just in case.OK?
How you feel is perfectly understandable considering your circumstances. Parents want what is best for their children but they can unknowingly put a huge amount of pressure on them, especially when they are highly intelligent kids like yourself :) They expect the high grades once they are achieved and forget to appreciate their kids as kids, not just academic geniuses. People, not just parents, also assume that good grades equal a good job, equals good money, equals happiness - if that was the case you wouldn't be feeling down.
Your self harm should be a signal to yourself that you need to talk to someone. If you don't feel you can't talk to your parents ask to speak to a teacher you trust, a school counsellor or call Childline - they will be able to help you.
http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx
It does sound like you could be depressed.
Have you lost or gained any weight?
Are you sleeping too much or too little?
Do you have any aches? Muscle, head ,stomach etc.
You might want to go ask a doctor.
I felt exactly the same! (sorry i know this isn't answering your question)
Alot of adults just tell me its a really hard age. Im 14 (you migt be older so i dont want to sound patronizing lol). I started to develop a very low selfesteem all the time. What i did was arranged a confiential opintment with my doctor when my mum was at work. I explained to my school that i had a confidential opiontment & they werent to tell my mum. They rang my doctors to make sure & let me go for it- After speaking to the doctors they said its due to hormones, and that me selfharming was just a way of dealing with it. They didt tell me to stop buthey made me see sense & put me on some vitamin b. Im a little better now but the best thing to do is to talk to someone xx