Help...I'm really depressed...my best friend hates me...?!

Hello there!

I happened upon this, and after reading your question, I thought I ought to say something, in spite of my not normally being active here. First of all, I can understand the feeling - wondering why or what happened, even blaming oneself for the friendship changing, and since this is your best friend, it must sting a great deal more. It would be unreasonable for your best friend to suddenly hate you for no apparent reason. Perhaps you simply have to speak to her (as diplomatically and calmly as possible, in a situation where you can both be honest), and ask her what has happened, though you would have to brace yourself for whatever the response is, be it a misunderstanding or someone having changed completely. There can be a whole lot of reasons why this is happening, and it seems fair for you to try and investigate, in a way, before you start blaming yourself.

Having something distinctive and different can cause a lot of attention, and having different coloured eyes, well it shouldn't hurt you at all, I think. Perhaps those who scream out are simply surprised to see something like that, but not necessarily because they think it is weird or strange or in any way negative, it is just an innocent reaction to something one doesn't normally see. If it helps you feel better, Kate Bosworth (I only know her from Superman Returns as Lois Lane) also has differently coloured eyes (I wouldn't know if it is quite the same as yours) and I have a few classmates whose eyes had irises that were blue/hazel turning brown towards the iris (though both eyes the same) and I think it is simply a distinctive, unique trait. I salute the lady who called your eyes beautiful. =)

About how you feel about yourself and your appearance - I trust that you know that you are far more than your external appearance, and it strikes me how much that external appearance affects us. Understandable, since it is what people see. As you have said above, there are the precious ones who say you are a great friend and crazily funny - draw your confidence from that, and the other attributes (say, your eyes) that make you you. No, you are not hideous or stupid, and you shouldn't torment yourself with such thoughts. You may be at the right age to have a fragile self-image and confidence, but try your best: Have some faith in yourself, there are surely those who have faith in you. =) And then with your friends - well, being able to be honest should be one of the marks of friendship, and with one who you are particularly close with, tell them how you feel. They surely know you well and can provide a shoulder whenever you need it in a much greater way than, say, this stranger who just happened upon your question. =D

I must add, I am writing by what I understand from what I have read, and I hope I haven't misunderstood any of it. I apologize for this being a really really long post. I hope it may help you somehow, that this doesn't cause any harm, and I hope someone else comes along with a better answer. Even more I hope that all will be well for you there.

God bless, and Godspeed!

My thoughts and opinions, a few experiences and observations, sentimentalism, simple logic, a little bit of being scientific and a little madness, faith and hope, etc.

just remember last night from now .. tell your self that you will become more attractive than any girl around ..take the challenge today and go to gym or yoga ..put your self on diet and more important part is to BELIEVE IN YOUR SELF . learn meditation and mediate that helps a lot..

self experience

How come you are not taking action and going with your gut instinct?

When your friend went off after only saying hello you suffered a reaction. You could've gone after her and asked her if she was okay and told her you don't feel comfortable when some-one does that 'cos you lose confidence or whatever OWN YOUR FEELINGS, you're entitled to them. If they don't come out straight they will come out wonky.
When oh when are you going to realise that being 'different' puts a little barrier in the way with other people who are just like everyone else E.G. THEIR EYES ARE IDENTICAL. You are sooooo lucky with this, it's rare and unique. Start counting your blessings.
Weight - you're not happy with it are you? OK so TAKE ACTION. Seek out the healthy way to lose weight and still get essential nutrients and be able to eat plenty.
You sound reactionary - like you're reacting dramatically, from happy to balling etc. This could be the foods you eat, your body going through changes, hormone levels. Don't worry about it but again, on feeling bad how come you didn't say to your Mum ' hey Mom we did this tonight...' or 'I'm happy in one way but sad in another Mom because...' You seem to want to force your Mother into doing a routine with you, routines become monotonous and BORING. Every week "What did you talk about?" Avoid making some-one do routines with you. Allow for people having their off days too.
Finally, please STOP habitually telling yourself negative things about yourself !!! Your poor spirit will be crushed if you keep rounding on yourself in this way. You are not hideous and you aren't stupid. Good way of bringing on the tears and I wonder if you felt the sting of them when your friend just went hello and walked off?
Don't jump to negative conclusions. How do you know what was going through your friends mind? She may have had something pressing, you didn't offer up any question even.
I hope this helps and well done for being so honest about your feelings. You're self image is not helpful. Take positive Action! Get in touch with your friend. Talk to your Mum.

expertise

Your iris is a gods gift .its beautifull and lucky to have such. Its in fact positiveness which attracts not your appearence. When you feel like crying bad or depressed due to any reason your positiveness reduceses. Secret is every morning u wake up send unconditional love to every body especially whom u break up with its with mind. Unconditional love is same love which is between u and ur mom or god. And see the magic. When u feel bad because of your friend just think of the event when your friend helped and thank her.see the whole world will change for you.